news [archive 00]
hint: i think the best idea is to hit ctrl-f and type in some interesting word

16.5.2002: well it all starts tomorrow. hey ho. by the time i upload this i will also have uploaded this. a big collection of photos ive been taken. ill be walking along and ill take a random photo of something. cos i can. so some of them arnt amazingly interesting but i felt like including them anyway. so yeah. this morning my back really hurts and im blaming it on my slipper. nevermind. another story. something kinda funny happened in the library yesterday. yknow weve been in the library from 9:30am to 10:15pm nearly everyday.. with about a three ohur break in the middle. dedication. determination? i dunno. whatever. when youre in the library that long it does things to you. like when everyone else has left you get crazy ideas to swing yourself over between two book shelves. cos theyre pretty high and close together and all. and then you realise that the shelf bit is actually way too slippy to be able to hold on supporting all your weight. and that tends to happen when your upside down. im sure it looked pretty funny so i dont care that it hurt. well you gotta be an idiot sometimes. else its just no fun at all. actually. i also dropped a minstrel from the top floor to the bottom down the stairwell and it managed to hit every floor and the sculpture at the bottom. hmmm. oh well. nevermind. talking of library. theres where i gotta go now.. so. yes. ive still got the minstrel to prove it.

13.5.2002: so. what? yeah. got our grade for phil today. i think we did okay. its a twenty credit module. so its worth double the others and half of my final year project. it was a cool 85% ..a rather steaming fat 85% rather. a large stonking medium fat one. i love jeremey wyatt. i probably cant even spell his name right tho. crazyness. my new camera is amazing. ive taken millions of photos. ill put some up actually. next time. when im free like. i need to do some image understanding revision. but while you wait. go play yahoo towers. it is stunning. its like. the ultimate game. beginners can happily play it. and hardcore bastards can play it as well. there so much depth it takes the piss. its warping my mind. tho im slowly working out exactly why the impossibly good people are impossibly good. yeah. check out this page for some hardcore rulage action. if thats a word. eighty five fucking percent. but still. ive gotta do shit hot in my exams to get that first. fucking first even. woah. just looked out the window cos thers some seriously nice light. and i saw a rainbow. but everytime i looked at it it went. i think it was the nice light burnt into my retina. photo. i love that shit. its amazing. more to come or something.

10.5.2002: ive been meaning to write some shit for ages. umm. point blank is still in the guild. but thats like. of least importance. i just thought id said somethinn about it and hadnt. argh. exams. sians nearly finished and i havnt started yet. weve been hardcoring it in the library. im a bit pissed off cos i doodled on the table and i really like it. hmm. i got this amazing digital camera thats like. the size of a matchbox or something. ill try taking a photo of it ;] thatd be cool. yeah. it takes movies as well. and amazing stuff. regress went to pebble mill today. cuting a long story short.. we recorded an acoustic version of a moment like this and talked about being in an unsigned band and stuff for this program about bands trying to get into the music industry. it was really cool. there was this other band there as well. it was cool. so were going to be on bbc radio2. thats radio2. one step away from 1. haha. were sending our demo there sometime. will be cool. harpies got on. haha. and our demo does sound pretty neat. anyway. yeah. what else. library. its so.. weird.. yeah. i am the formal methods king. got my vrml in. check it out here. thats my report and everything. its pretty anyway. um. got addicted to yahoo towers. its fucking amazing. yahoo have put all these games on the site. theyre so cool. im bordering purple. haha. i might go round sians in a bit. regress rockin the beeb. haha. yeah. my brain just hurts yknow. too many of my exams are too hardcore. formal methods is going really wel. but. evolutionary computation is gonna be so hard. and image understanding. whatever. i like pitchshifter. its a friday night. i need to do something. anyway.

1.5.2002: exam month now. hm. im listening to josie and the pussycats. i cant believe how much you cant hear tanya. i hate juliana hatfield. well we won the quiz last night. another thing i cant believe. what bad losers everyone are. saying it was a bad win cos we complained about our score halfway through. theyd marked us three points down for fuck sake. anyway. we won thirty four quid. so fuck yall. and cheers to colin for lending me the saturday morning greatest hits cd. haha. yes. how crap was the weather tho. i mean. yknow that cloud in hellraiser. or whatever film it was. there was a cloud like that over selly park yesterday. sheesh. and im pissed off cos my vrml write up is too big and we get penalised for going over the word limit. i emailed the guy to moan about it and he said he doesnt want people writing too much cos it cuts into time for other modules. wtf. its gonna take me twice as fucking long to cut it down. the idiot. anyway.

30.4.2002: had my last go on point blank in the guild today. theyre replacing it with tekken. piece of shit. got the best score ever tho. which was nice considering it was my last go. i dunno. some guy tried to sell me weed in adams place. weirdness again.

29.4.2002: a few small things. i was walking through selly oak last night. i sneezed and some guy appeared in front of me. i dont really get it. its like. he wasnt there. and then he was. this is gonna stupid to anyone other than me. so forget it. we went to the punjab paradise last night. its the best balti restuarant anywhere. its different to eastern delight and dilshad. but i still think its better. anyway. theyve done it up and its amazing. its like a fucking hotel. its crazy. i did the most embaressing thing tho. i pulled the balti dish towards me by the handle. argh. after the amount of times ive eaten there. its just. damn it. idiot. luckily it was my left hand so i can still write. haha. the other day i decided i like breathing in the wind. dunno what i was thinking but i made a mental note. who knows. went to hollys birthday party friday night. it was a pretty cool house party. vege barbecue and everything. topness. or something. and holly kept giving me vodka. brilliant. plenty of moo-pa-chi action. aidan named his band after pi. crazy. pissed off cos i missed the pitchshifter promo night at xls. argh. free stuff. guaranteed quality songs. listening to the album now. just got back from town. bought too much. pitchshifter album. alec empire album. fly pan am album. sorry. le fly pan am. i got repeated as well. it was cheap. i got suckered into getting a littlewoods catalogue tho. well. i dunno. the woman was being really nice about. i mean. as nice as you could. and she gets 67p commission for everyone she sends out. so i effectively gave her 67p. which i think is pretty rightous considering im not gonna buy anything anyway. shame the planets being destroyed and everything. but i felt good about for a minute. and theres this guy in a big plastic cube outside hmv. i guess its a game cube advert. but hes playing squash. in this two meter square cube. and hes got a fake ass stuck on his ass. so he has to pull a stupid face everytime he has to bend down to pick up the ball. what a fucked up job tho. stars in their eyes. what a shit final. none of them were as good as they were before. all i wanted was the michael stipe guy to get through. he was fucking phenomenal. but alas no. he was on the second program. if you didnt know it was stars in their eyes you woulda have thought it was him until they did a close up. infact you probably wouldnt have believed someone who said it wasnt him. anyway. what would anyone know. i found out some crazy thing. my exgirlfriends mum ran off with some other guy. this is second hand information so i dont really know much about it. but its crazy. anyway. im well pissed off cos i missed grandmaster flash play the med bar the other day. why the fuck didnt i go? idiot. matt has got hold of a copy of the hundred reasons album and hes playing it constantly. except hell listen to a third of the song and then skip to the next. with ill find you being played every third song. argh. im gonna hate that album when it comes out. hundred reasons score. anyway. enough. gotta read the last installment of sam kieths latest.. thing. i darent say it. sucker. pitchshifter are amazing.

26.4.2002: yknow one of my favourite things is pulling back the tab on a carton of juice for the first time. i think its the way the air rushes in and that amazing sound it makes.

25.4.2002: the shop by the mud cafe has irnbru. barr are doing a 19p a can trial price promotion. i think im in heaven. interesting statistic. coke is the best selling softdrink (is it really classed as a drink?) everywhere apart from scotland where its irnbru. power to the people. etc. but im quite scared about how many 'free little moe' banners there are up down my street. up down? ..whatever

24.4.2002: its the nicest fucking day. there isnt a cloud in the sky. there hasnt been all day. its so damn nice it hurts your eyes. why is that the dark side is always stronger but always loses? last night was amazing. it was my thirtieth gig. with the almightly postmortem as well. undoubtably our best gig. it was pretty amazing. there were so many people taking photos its gonna be a nightmare getting them. dave did an amazing job sorting out the band night. hardcore indeed. the sound was amazing. it was very ra. and we went for a curry afterwards. it was quality. i hate antoni diller. he turned up to our revision lecture with no plan. he said he was gonna go through a specification and stuff but he said hed forgot and would need to plan it. fucking asshole. anyway.

21.4.2002: im never drinking blue curacao again. wow. ben just phoned me and we have a house. a nice house. a house in brighton. boston. but yeah. ever since i drank some blue curacao my shit has been green. im sorry to be gross. but its a warning you should heed. postmortem have a gig on tuesday. i think itll be my 30th. went to xls last night. was pretty crap. after going to ramshakle xls just seems poor. the people are fuckheads and the music is dull. they played hundred reasons which was nice but obvious anyway. their law. no where every plays that. and they played spin spin sugar. niceness. anyway. need to spend more time in the park. actually need to finish vr project. whatever. i really need to revise. so yes.

18.4.2002: well its been ten days. havnt done much. haha. ive been at home. playing wipeout fusion and ssx tricky mostly. it has to be said. i knackered. i just got woken up by a freak storm. got back from uni about an hour ago. they had us in demonstrating phil and my final year project. it was the uni open day. so yknow. we were trying to make it seem as interesting as possible but all people wanted to hear was that its really boring and you can get a job at the end of it. fucking kids. met some of the worst people ive talked to in ages. anyway. got back to birmingham really late last night with all my stuff. was in london all day with sian and my parents. argh my room is such is a messs. i gotta sort it out all. but yeah. weird things in london. most of all. i remember ages ago (around novemeber december time) talking about this couple who were on the train and starting fighting and shit. well we saw the woman on the south bank selling the big issue. it was definately her. she had the gold teeth and everything. so shes still alive if anyone was wondering. and she looked quite happy as well. although i doubt that she really is. something else. when we got off the tube this one time there was this guy was humming dreaming. yknow the blondie song that smashing pumpkins covered. that was cool. we went to the tate modern. some of it was really good. they had a hepworth which i really liked. a huge rothko room. never liked rothko but it was really cool. there was a lot of stuff i really didnt like tho. like some idiot standing at the top of primrose hill breathing helium and singing some stupid song. i dont care if i missed the point it was terrible and i have nothing but contempt for it. anyway. yeah. and we went on the london eye. it was okay. except some photos soon. ive been trying to get back in photography. its been so long yknow. and we ate at wagamomas. it was quite cool. i dont get how all the staff could be so cool. irratating. but i was really chuffed cos i didnt even have to think about using chopsticks. i just did it. i felt so proud. haha. i was the chopstick king. hmm. anyway. yeah. now i just got settle down into revision. groan. and sort my room out. ive got such a sore throat. and this house is in a fucking state. it really pisses me off. oooh thunder. cool. anyway.

8.4.2002: hmm. my lava lamp just did the weirdest thing. nevermind. todays been weird. ive had nothing to do. we just around in various pubs and outside til about five and ive been at home ever since. didnt fancy going out. way too tired. but yeah. i felt weird not having anything to do so i updated my project. haha. you can download the zip from here. i started messing with a continuous animation thing. its.. umm.. not great yet. i gotta put in momentum and stuff so its less random. i updated the gene pool as well. so theres loads more crap. sigh. my body is beat. i wish i knew what was wrong with my legs.. its crazy. i read through all this crap the other day. this news page thing. sheesh. what a waste of net space. haha. oh well. i found it useful for remembering stuff tho. but.. im so tired. hence the gibbering. interesting things. wait. itll come to me. an amazing link. tripotron. ive been needing to hear lucky for so long. exploding dog has been amazing recently. yes. goodnight.

8.4.2002: and breathe out. its early yet. its the morning. its 10:11. so dont ask me how im feeling. cos ill tell you later. got cramp again this morning. other leg. i caught it early but i dont think it woke me up. i think i woke up and moved it funny. anyway. lets not talk shit.

6.4.2002: hold it. the days are getting longer. im becoming less.. good at using words. check out mikes postmortem website. the news section in particular. hold it.

5.4.2002: and breathe out. so. im listening to sigur ros. your record collection is incomplete with out sven g englar. to me its about ..hmm.. its like the things that you would notice this time round if you could be a child again. if i was poetic i could explain better. but then you would understand. haha. well i wouldnt if i was you. im babbling. its friday night. seven. sheesh. theres some mumbles in the background. i dont care. so yes. a helicopter flies past. its weird yknow. this is like a moment of calm. i dont know. its cold but nice. a little chill makes you feel alive. if i never write anything again i will be happy. haha. i hate science sometimes. what really? dont know. i had something to write. why i loaded up notepad. but alas i forget. two things now. the dandy warhols are amazing. secondly. atari teenage riot are also. i found a website. this one. it has practically every atari teenage riot song as mp3 for you to download. i suggest yr uniform, ghostchase, destroy 2000 years of culture and umm.. all of the others. maybe it is time to carry on writing. okay. breathe in.

2.4.2002: its starting to hurt when i look at bright lights. i woke up with a really bad headache this morning. really early. had to stumble downstairs and take some paracetomol. cant remember how many i took but i threw the rest away. reminded me of pi. although not quite at the time. i think i went back to sleep. you need to take a break max.

1.4.2002: theres a rainbow right outside my window. how cool is that. the light is gorgeous outside. yum yum yum. isnt april the first just the best day to come out with a really good secret. haha. like. telling your parents your gay or your girlfriend youve been cheating on her. haha. that would be brilliant. um. no. im just remembering a dream i had a very long time ago. infact its so long ago i cant actually remember. i just now that it was very long ago. and i was in this house. huge house. massive hours. it had hundreds of rooms that were all interconnected. a lot were open to the next room. connected by a small staircase or something. huge open lounge. it was all reds and browns. really warm. corridor of huge bedrooms round the back. massive bedrooms. with huge bunkbeds and mezzanine attic type things. full of toys and stuff. the kitchen was amazing. i wish i could put the images from this house down on paper. but alas. itll never happen. still. it was fucking amazing. and the rainbow fades...

31.3.2002: judy staring at the sun is probably one of my favourite songs. and are you experienced. the belly cover. i think its better than the original. sorry jimi but you werent the greatest singer. who was judy?

31.3.2002: by five minutes. random thoughts. godspeed you black emperor are beautiful. matt left a waffle in the oven for hours and now its a hard black carbon waffle. it is interesting. they played buddy holly and hashpipe last night. girl from mars. bittersweet symphony. oh the memories. im feeling in need of some close company. feel like watching delicatessen. theres a fridge down the road lying across the path and its been their for days. i was worried there was a cat stuck in it so i had to open it. now i cant leave the house without going to the toilet. thank you academy. morning view is an amazing album. ive developed a 14 pound a week habit of juice. hundred reasons are really that good. if i could be with you right now i would. all of you. can you evolve anything? and why not. this has taken me five minutes to write. how much of my dissertation could i have written in this time? want some statistics? wait a minute. i have done half a line a minute while writing my dissertation. try and tell me how bad that is. the thing mark gave me for my 18th birthday is superb. i hope he knows how much i like it and thats its always been hanging on the wall by computer. wherever my computers been. if i could be anywhere in the world right now where would i be? its an interesting question and its hard to be truthfull about it. well i think so anyway. its nearly quater past twelve. ive got hours to go yet. not even really tired. i was going to finish my implementation section today. it might be possible. but ive got the rest of saving and loading to do and all the autonomous evolution. lets crack on. you dont have to break some eggs to make an omlette. in sainsburies you can buy pre-whisked eggs in a plastic bottle. i kid you not. but then i always thought it was stupid how you could buy pre-grated mozerella until i tried grating it myself. but what fool cant break and whisk an egg? what if some kid drank it cos they thought it was advocadt. haha. sorry. talking shit now.

30.3.2002: yknow what. i feel really good. i havent felt the way i feel today in so long ..its um. hard for me to specify. or something. haha. and yeah i wish you were here. today is gorgeous. just look outside. the air is warm. the people are warm. the warmth man. it just feels so good. last night was the best night out ive had in so long. we ended up going to the acedemy for ramshackle.. after a quick stint in the bristol pear. it was me mike ben and martin. how shit did i think it was going to be? i thought it was going to suck. which just goes to show.. and after a twenty minute wait (it must have been) in the queue to get in ..with me really really really busting for the toilet. getting in was the most amazing thing. i was so desperate. it really hurt. need to piss pain. i was even worried that when they searched me they were gonna knock me in a bad place and id wet myself. so i get the bouncer and hes like. do you mind if i search you? ..and im like.. well.. i dont really but id rather you didnt. see im really desperate for the toilet. can i search you? well whatever just hurry up. is that a yes? what if i say no? you dont come in. argh. i need the fucking toilet for fuck sake. fuck. fuuuuck. i pissed for about three minutes. all that bloody juice. jeez. it hurt tho. real bad. haha. but like i said when i was there. it may hurt now but itll be funny later. and it was. so. another thing to learn from. so how great is the academy on a friday night? its huge. and theres dancing space. and we danced so much it was brilliant. ive need to go out and dance for ages. and it was.. yeah.. amazing. they just played the best music. i mean.. for an indie night it was genius. incubus was nice. some good indie crap. some prodigy. some sharpshooter freestylers superstylin fatness. some insanly dubby leftfield type funk shit. an undoubtably the best song ive ever heard in a club. skeelo vs eye of the tiger vs cannonball. its a soulwax bootleg thing. get it off the net. its worth it. definately. they even played pink! get the party started remix. would have danced but wed just got drinks. that put the biggest grin on my face. i dont believe ive been going to xls the whole time. although i doubt if it was the usual club group it wouldnt have been so good. im sure not many people i know would have really enjoyed it. which always sucks but nevermind. we stayed till the end and everything. what a boston night. and i fell amazing today. even if ben did make my bed smell. haha. went to the selly sausage for a veggie breakfast. that was well nice. yeah. ben and martin have gone now. martin spent ages looking for bestiality on the net so now ive gotta go and delete all the bookmarks he nicely went and gave me. haha. i love incubus. yknow. do you really get over things? or do you just forget about them? are you in? dum dum diddy. the weather. yeah. hmmm

29.3.2002: updates! yes. not much im afraid. im gonna put up some of my old photos that jo sent me the other night. theyre kinda funny. so yeah. i just put some new stuff on the computer graphics page. i took some off as well. i decided some of the women made me look a bit pervy and it was pissing me off. so i took two of them down. i know its giving in and i was determined to take an artistic moral high ground ..but who else gives a shit about that? no one. they just think im a perv. nevermind. haha. hey. ben and martin are coming today. yes once again its a stupid time and im still up. bed soon tho. i promise.

28.3.2002: well its been a lot longer than i would have liked. its really hard to feel like i can sit here and type this with me having my dissertation due soon. its all really fucking hard. but yet. interesting things have happened. shall i try this in order? well we went to the bbc. it was a good day. i talked to much.. i kept getting that thing where id see something and no one would hear it. i hate it when people dont listen. but yeah. when we got there we drove around a bit. went into the cbbc studios. saw ortis half naked ..that guy is so hard.. we went to the props department to set up and stuff. so much stuff in there.. so loads of crazy shit. stuff from top of the pops.. the lottery etc.. and there was a huge cage of porn. magazines and videos. it was so weird. theyve also got the biggest lift ive ever seen. so yeah. saw the blue peter garden. actually kinda went in it.. although i couldnt get a blue peter badge and didnt get to meet konnie huq. oh well. had a huge breakfast courtesty of bbc. brilliant. then we filmed. and how shit was phil? pretty crap. he kinda messed up. jermery took full responsibility. he didnt switch it on right etc.. but whatever. it was a cool day. they were filming totp as well. hundred reasons were there and i didnt get to fucking see them. nevermind. then we went into london for a chinese round leicester square soho area. was cool. people talking a lot of crap. yawn. we met in a pub earlier and me and adam got id checked.. how crap is that? and there was a pound jammed in the quiz machine.. poked it in with my biro. got up to a quid winnings and collected. that made my day. then we went to this nice pub and jeremy met his sister and got really drunk. brilliant. we met the woman who makes the 'heres something i made earlier' stuff. talking about phil gavin has done the best website for him. here it is its brilliant. theres even a video of it as well. playing with little kids. and me. how uninterested do i look? i was standing up talking about it all day and it got really boring. they got my worst angle as well. haha. amazing. so what else. well i got woken up this morning by cramp in my leg again. it was really bad this time. i was on my own as well which really didnt help. fuck knows what james thinks i was doing. it just hurt so much. i cant walk now. i just got up to have a shower and cant actually get there. thats why im sitting here doing this. that im really knackered. its eleven am now and i didnt get to sleep until gone six. i was talking to jo and it was like.. the conversation ive needed the most since i was 16.. it was really amazing. id love to go into details but itd mean nothing to anyone else. she sent me loads of scans of photos that id sent her ages ago.. memory lane etc. wow. i really would love to explain but i wont. shes travelling europe this summer and should be coming to england. just the scariest thing. new pitchshifter album soon.. argh. oh yeah. i saw system of a down the other night. they were alright yeah but was pissed off cos they played shame the next night. bastards. saw godspeed you black emperor. there was an experience. it was at the que club.. very dreamy atmosphere. i think at one point the one side of the place disappeared and it was just mountains and sky. they played too long but im not gonna complain. waited forever for a bus. went with colin and jo rooney. it was nice company. talked about trasnformers for ages.. and various other toys. i remembered these things i used to have. and now im on a mission to work out what they were but i have no idea how to. oh well. ow. fuck. my leg is so bad. i guess this is what stress and late nights and bad food do to you. and sitting down all day. so heres another good link. my results page for my dissertation. theres about two megs on that page. so be patient okay? its worth it. some of the shit on there is amazing. anyway. ill remember interesting things later. i need to go shower. and sort my fucking leg out.. hm. i think it was actually more painful this time. i guess it wasnt as bad cos it was more like ..oh fuck not this again.. rather than ..oh jesus what the fuck is happening to my legs.. kinda thing.. i cant imagine its something you could used to though.. well it feels like my muscles are tearing themselves apart and my legs being crushed to pieces but its okay.. i know what it is.. nevermind.

13.3.2002: yeah its still wednesday but the weirdest thing is happening. im sitting here working on my computer and right infront of my out my window is phil on his step ladders. here is a legend i never thought id meet and he just scared the life out of me. maybe i should tell him we named our band after him. and a robot thats probably going to be on television tomorrow. is that not really weird. hes on this huge ladder and its really windy. if he falls its gonna be horrible. had a good spade practice. ive got a spade. but yes. spent the whole time with an autowah on. i thought it sounded cool but everyone else probably hates me now. i thought we sounded really fat tho. yeah man. got a message from sian and she said she had a really good feeling about her interview in bristol. the coolest. yeah. vitro on the stereo. it was so nearly sunny today. i was gonna go out just in a tshirt but its still too cold. dont believe i woke up in glastonbury tho. strangeness. anyway. theres phil. i just wish i had a camera. well i do. but im not gonna.. am i now?

13.3.2002: yknow when you wake up in the morning but you dont open your eyes. it happenes sometimes. its really weird. anyway. it happened this morning and it really really felt like i was in glastonbury. there was some weird music being played somewhere and there was some workmen over the road or something making some weird noise. and then i could hear people talking just outside the house. cumulative effect was glastonbury in the morning. it was very authentic. was really shocking actually. how real it felt. but anyway. we won the rocksoc quiz last night. yippie. the music round was intros from rocksoc bands. they just played songs from all the previous rocksoc cds. some of them were really difficult. like the first regress song that was recorded before i was at uni that no one is ever gonna hear. we cleaned up. ten out of ten. one team only got half a point. its what you get not for not supporting yr scene. ey. i was up til about four last night working on my project. had this crazy idea of trying to have another mode where the output pointers actually represent hue saturation and brightness instead. looks... umm.. interesting. but its cool. okay. big news. theres a very very big chance that phil the amazing robot head is going to be on cbbc. yes that childrens bbc. and its this thursday (the 14th).. shit thats tomorrow.. its live tv and its gonna be between kids programs from 3 to 5.. im hoping i can get a blue peter badge.. itd be amazing.. so tune in yall..

11.3.2002: well its been ten days. ive been busy. project work is staring to hit the fan. or something. groan. ive now done 29 gigs. just to keep a record so i dont forget. it was the rocksoc battle of the bands. regress came third (whoopie), postmortem fifth (with the worst gig we ever did do) and spade was seventh. pretty cool. had a lot of good feedback. long weekend tho. didnt do half as much work as i was hoping to do. spade played last tuesday at the brook as well cos fluffy pink thingies pulled out last minute. we had an hours notice. it was fun tho. and regress played obviously. it was good apparently. i messed up the start of cetravene cos simon was making me jump. gimp. haha. no not really. shit i was just at sainsburies and heard that omatic got all their guitars stolen. how shit is that. that and they were placed second from last this weekend. what a load of shit. but nevermind. again. definately going to london on thursday but not staying over night cos the bbc refused to pay expenses. bastards. but i guess its their money. did i mention the orange car? theres a car down tiverton road that someones painted orange. its the weirdest fucking thing. anyway. i wanted to write more cos ive hardly written for ages and im sure theres stuff i gotta say (ummm). but ive got a lecture now. so. must dash. remind laters.

1.3.2002: yknow its almost a nice day today. and i still cant belive how amazingly bright the moon was. theres been some insane night skies recently. but yes. you should check out my world. its got games in it and everything now. runs kinda slow tho but nevermind. tuesday night was cool. i got to play all the funky shit. actually. this is what we played: bleed american (jimmy eat world). say it aint so (weezer). love american style (far). siberian kiss (glassjaw). shinobi vs dragon ninja (hey fuck them anyway). clear (hundred reasons). circles (incubus). no comply (senser). sabotage (beastie boys). shame (system of a down vs wuntang). channel zero (public enemy). genius (pitchshifter but it was my fucked up remix with charlie big potato at the start). idioteque (radiohead). destroy 2000 years of culture (atr). their law (prodigy). new noise (refused). and yknow a lot those were requests as well. fantastic. ive been so stiff since tho. good night. some fat tunes. im sitting here munching lifesafers. ive been saving them for so long.. haha.. and my mango juice. i dont believe diamond water spade are winning the rocksocuk yahoo group best bham uni band poll. itll be all matts friends. haha. i had more to say that this. oh yeah. regress *are* playing at the brook on tuesday. free to get in. get to see fluffy pink things and aftermath as well. cmon. itll be fun. were playing with oli from omatic cos dave is in london. yeah. that still isnt it. i didnt buy a new bass yesterday. i nearly did but ibanez let me down. haha. their eda was so promising as a five string. but nevermind. blah. must get on with work. etc.

26.2.2002: the moon is so bright out my window. rocksoc event at the guild tonight. the idiots have given me a whole hour. haha. i said this already. oh well. i was originally gonna be on first and play loads of mentalist shit. nevermind. hey. phil is gonna be on television again. on cbbc. gonna be so cool. were gonna go down to london and everything. be on digital and everything. it might not happen but it looks really likely. yeah. silverfish. i cant believe how amazingly bright the moon is. yknow what else. amelie got nominated for five baftas. how fucking cool is that? i was pissed off cos it was gonna be ignored and was blatantly the best film ever. it one best original screenplay. didnt win best film or foreign film. but nevermind. lord of the rings i dont think so. nevermind. did i say we went to chiqutos the other day and got free nachos. so nice. blah blah blah in a rush etc...

22.2.2002: i canna believe how windy it is. tanya said the storm has passed but im not sure. yknow her album is okay. there are no really irratating songs like some off lovesongs for underdogs. but its much less catchy as well. oh well. the spade gig was shit. well. people said it was good but it sounded terrible from where i was standing. its just james and matt are scared to turn their amps up or something. its so windy. i had a lecture in muirhead tower today. for anyone who doesnt know its the building that was designed by the physics department (or something like that) and was during the fad of having wind proof buildings. so its all designed to be able to withstand wind and be really tall and thin and shit. anyway. the rumour goes that they build it 90 degrees off. so its actually really bad in the wind. just look at all the scaffolding. anyway. ive gotta work out what im gonna play on tuesday. im djing at the rocksoc guild event. they decided not to put me on first this time. quite nice. shame cos i was gonna play loads of mentalist shit and i cant now cos they trusted me with a later slot (thats 10 to 11 yall). hmm. so any requests? get them in early cos its not like im gonna take all my cds down there.. hmm.. yknow i really hate londis. i wanna start a boycott against them. theyre fucking scum. i wanted a chocolate milk and they said it was one pound sixty eight. what the fuck? and the woman who works there is a total fucking cow. theres a cool woman who works there tho. she really rocks. but the rest of the staff are fuckheads. they suck suck suck. and talking about places that suck. we got a vege korma from the khanum and it was shit. it was watery tasteless and was just random vegetables. piece of shit. anyway. smile. haha. just spoke to ben. that was cool. yeah man. anyway. bo. we nearly went to revolution tonight. nice little vodka bar on broadstreet. then we remembered it was a friday night. oh well. goodnight.

19.2.2002: lots of silly little updates. more pictures on my bass page. some of my evolutionary art on the computer graphics page. ummm. some extra little stuff. well its nice to update yknow. i need to finish the unfinished bits. like the films page. ill do it sometime. its just time and effort. got a gig tonight. ive got a cold as well. so itll be weird. spade tonight. our third gig. showcasing two of our new songs. another one of ours. a load of covers. why not. its about having fun. taxi is coming soon to take our amps down to the brook. my twenty fourth gig. woah. anyway. i like the carpets down there. i need to grab some from tescos. i need to write my project write up. ive been plaing grand theft auto. its really quite good yknow. anyway..

15.2.2002: yknow i cant remember the last time i listened to fake plastic trees. seen the front page news today? they cloned a cat. this little kitten. why? they said its for bereaved pet owners. um. hello? what kind of sick world are we living in anyway.. the fur patterns arnt fully genetic anyway. it could look totally different. oh well. nah im having a bad day. felt pretty swimmy this morning but yknow. maybe i was just tired. im over stressed. work is stressing me so bad. its decisions. i think whether i go to birmingham uni or sussex uni next year is the biggest decision ive ever had to make. and its definately the hardest. after the amazing birmingham offer and the kinda lame ambiguous offer i got from brighton i was kinda settled into the fact i was going to birmingham. but i thought id email the people at sussex and see if i could pursuade them to give me a better offer cos birmingham had and they went and bloody matched it. i should be over joyed. yup. i should. but its just put the ball back in my court. what the fuck to do. it involves too much stuff for me to be able to make a desicion. it really sucks. argh. i should do a sponsered internet vote or something. get on the news. student puts his future in the hands of idiots. i guess it comes down to basing the decision on what is most important. they both have pros and cons and they all conflict. what is more important? i dont know. i cant decide. and ive got to by friday latest. fuckers. and i just bought a lettuce for one pound twenty nine only. rip. oh i updated my virtual world so it should work now with textures and everything. i know the slide puzzle is rubbish but i havnt worked out how to do collisions yet. ill get it sorted after the vrml lecture today. and all ive got to eat is bacon and lettuce sandwiches. vege bacon obviously. and i feel so shit about not getting sian a valentines day card. her house mates made me write one to one of her other house mates as a joke from this guy she thought was our neighbour. other stuff as well. but thats just stuff. yep. poor kitten. born into that shit. its just a fucking cat okay? idiots. this cute little kitty all sad and.. yeah.. hey that reminds me. kitty and boo. now for anyone who hasnt seen monsters inc. why the fuck not? the best film ive seen in ages. ooh there goes the guitarist out of one day period cycling past my window. but yeah. monsters inc is amazing. especially the scene with all the doors. a bit of a terry gilliam meets (oh someone i cant think of) moment. fucking genius. and the bit when they fall (no im not ruining it) i got this incredible flashback of the apocalypse at drayton manor.. i felt them fall. i really did. it was kinda horrible. really made my stomach go. crazy. and the little animation at the start with the birds was brilliant. just.. the attention to detail in the whole film. the way mikes skin stretches on his eyelid when he blinks when his eye is half shut. the fur. the amazing fur. its insane. especially when he lands in the snow. its *amazing*. how it kinda brushes against door frames and stuff. i need to buy a new lighter. the one i got from rhys at glastonbury is starting to run out and i feel bad using it anyway. and the little girl is the cutest. incredibly so. that bit when ..ah i dont wanna spoil it. what a heart wrenching performance. haha. anyway.

14.2.2002: valentines day. i dunno. went to a kinda wannabe posh restaurant last night. on broad street. the living room or something. you had to go up a lift. that was quite nice. and they had a real piano player. that was cool. and they had amazing drinks. like baileys banana and cookies. and we went to revolution. its like a vodka bar at the other end of broad street. really good menu. menu? is that the right word? ..yeah. nice. i really liked the vodka infused with rose petals. sounds really girly but it was bright pink. oh yeah. whats the but for? i dunno. bright pink isnt really girly. its more kinda. dunno. its too harsh to be girly. got four hours of band practices today. well spade are playing the brook on tuestday (yeah thats me and mike doing three rocksoc band nights in a row) ..thatll be number 24. yay. and we really wanna go and see monsters inc tonight. fatness. i got an offer from birmingham. theyll give me a place on a 2.1 or higher and give me the full studentship. i didnt realise before but thats includes 3000 for tuition fees and they also give you 8000 maintenance grant. grant as in you dont have to pay it back. isnt that amazing? sussex havnt given me quite so good an offer. theyll take me on a 2.1 (well i think thats what they meant anyway) but they dont assess who gets studentships until later and then it might not be the whole thing. can i risk it? well i emailed them saying i want a better offer else ill have to go to birmingham. not sure how theyll take it but i found a photo of the guy i emailed and he had his feet up on this desk and big grin. so yknow. i hope theyre cool. i wish i get my final year project appletised (is that a word?) but cant cos its all different frames and you need to be able to save stuff. its all animating tho. its amazing. its too dark in my room. im listening to dos dedos mis amigos. its amazing. i had everythings cool in my head all day. even though its only quater to one. not going to the grad ball. i dunno. anyway. must crack on with work. not that i know what to do. aw fuck it maybe ill just update the regress website..

10.2.2002: yknow tanya donelly is playing in london soon. might even be in two days time. or maybe a few more. dont know. i had my 23rd gig the other night. postmortem again. the first band to ever play at the brook in selly oak. it was weird. cool tho. a nice sound not too loud. and it was nice playing on carpet. that was cool. i got my amp here as well now. yeah. and wipeout fusion is eventually out. pretty amazing. apart from a few irratating and completely pointless irratating points its immensely fat. wanna see my virtual reality world? its all just a point and click away. should work. you gotta download cosmoplayer. its dead small and quite cool. matt took some really really good photos of regress playing the other day at tcs. im gonna have to upload them. theyre definately going on the regress website. yeah. oh my candle just went out. yeah. there was a pretty cool house party last night at winnie road. two house thingy. i managed to drink a whole bottle of ginger wine. groan. haha. it was fun tho. matt was totally fucked. a lot of people were actually. not quite so bad as the last one mind. were gonna have a house party soon.. its just a shame our house is so fucking messy. and dirty. nevermind...

3.2.2002: hmmm. weird things. like. it was raining in xls last night. raining. drops of water just falling from the ceiling. well. water. nevermind. and ive been drinking an awful lot of mango juice recently. i hope thats not a bad thing. the gig was okay. a lot of people said we were the best. three and half inch floppy were amazing but it was a really really terrible gig really. haha. they rule. but now weve actually sold all of our cds. woah. yeah. weird. huh. started my virtual reality project. at some point i will have it up for viewing. so get cosmoplayer. or something. bored. too much work.

1.2.2002: pinch punch first of the month. yeah. i had a cold the last two days. bit gutted cos i missed two of my nature inspired design lectures. they were both on evolutionary and organic art as well. which is half okay because i probably new a lot of it already. but its bad cos i woulda probably had loads of ideas and stuff. oh well. have i raved about my project animating the chromosomes yet? its pretty cool except now my project keeps getting out of memory errors. nevermind. sigh. got a gig tonight. yippie. i just hope its okay. i left my extension lead of scruffies *again*. oh well. hmmmm. my girlfriends looking quite fit today. blah blah. harry potter. im reading the third book at the moment. the portrait just got attacked. hmmm. i reckon scabbers and crookshanks are somehow involved. its always something really small at the start thats the basis of the twist at the end. how it should be of course. i kinda like lupin and itd be way too obvious for him to be involved. well obviously hell be involved. but he doesnt seem that evil. and i like snape as well. yknow. hes evil and everything but i dont think he is deep down. why am i talking about harry potter on my news page? jeez. i gotta start vrml cos ive stopped understanding the lectures. xls saturday. itll be cool. i hope. james said they played refused last time he went. thatd be amazing. anyway. im sure i had something to say. got the transformers seasons one dvd. its quite cool. oh fuck it i cant remember. its not like ive really done anything the last two days.

27.1.2002: pishkin and skeedadle. with an american accent. what is a pishkin anyway? ..its summer outside. well its not. but it kinda feels like it could be. its not my fault if i crave summer. or spring maybe. anyway. last night was okay. we played kinda badly. i was hitting wrong pedals all over the place but nevermind. we sold some cds. it was fun. made some money. bingo all round. yeah.

27.1.2002: woah. i just found out that digimon is being repeated at about half nine on a sunday morning. come on. yeah. its around the puppetmon episodes so theyre really good. im kinda pissed they stopped releasing videos they only got up to episode 15. bastards. i missed all the ones between that and about 25 and the ones after that are fucking amazing. anyway..

27.1.2002: practice was okay. i kept fucking up tho. but yknow. it does get boring playing the same songs over and over. took sian to see jimmy eat world last night. they were quite good. dont see how they could be anyones favourite band tho. i thought they sound like ultrasound. haha. but i think thats just the woman singer or something. they were cool. and i saw the girl with the smallest ears in the world. now that was a weird site. i was evolving some really large chromosomes over night and i got back and it had only just got through a third of the generations. they had 82 active nodes each tho. but i had to stop it cos ive gotta work. this isnt work. but it will be. next time. maybe. gig tonight. i had a dream about it last night where the gig was a really big deal and now im worried about it. nah. oh yeah. talking about chromosomes. check this out. its some of my results. and yes they are brilliant. that doesnt count for too much. but they are. so there. tongue sticking out of mouth. etc.

26.1.2002: regress practice soon. its our first practice since the gig we did for my dads party ages ago. and we have a gig tomorrow. and we should have cds. corey says nothing says love like socks. he also says go to brighton. well. it would be cool i suppose. ill see what happens with funding. ive got till easter anyway. yeah. its just i kinda like the neon glow of selly oak. i can pretend that im in las vegas or something. um. its kinda weird how i keep having dreams about parts of birmingham that dont actually exist anymore. weird. saw matts band the other day. yeah. um. and i ate a five bean and humous baguette. haha. humous rocks. made some damn good scrammbled egg. i installed netscape last night and got rid of it cos it sucked. guess what? it only went and fucked up my java compilier. i fixed it now but i wasted all morning and i still havnt started my vrml project. he said doing an virtual reality art gallery interface for my project would be possible. hmm. i wanted to tell me if it was good idea or not. oh well. i got lots of ideas of stuff to put in. so. yknow. yeah. regress. hmmm. i just hope this practice goes well. thats all.

24.1.2002: sian bought me socks. smile. yeah. i think ive stopped being so effected by my dreams. recently ive had some really horrific dreams but the feeling kinda disintergrates by morning. interesting. maybe.

23.1.2002: so yeah. postmortem gig last night. it was pretty good. the most positive feedback ive ever had for a gig. everyone said it was really good. nice. mike is such a star. loads of people came down it was cool. gave out millions of flyers for the regress website and a lot of people said theyd already been. someone even asked me if wed got it professionaly done. haha. yeah. fatness. was a good gig. ive got some photos that matt took actually. wait. here they are. one and two. you cant see george and christian im afraid. but yeah. did more phil demonstrations today. and i went to a seminar about doing research at birmingham. what the fuck am i going to do next year. someone please tell me what to do. should i go to birmingham or brighton? but yeah. i still dont belive people so many people recognised phil from the tv the other day. weird. regress cds are being a pain as ever. grrr. but on the whole i am enjoying stuff. i like my modules this term. im just about to fix a bug in my program that has been plaguing me all day. you gotta check out my project. its being pretty amazing recently. yeah. i just hope i can get a good mark for it. anyway. love and kisses.

20.1.2002: mikes 21st today. but hes not 21 until 5 to midnight. all the numbers. and im listening to clear. hundred reasons are amazing. fuck lost prophets. haha. but yeah. yesterday was really heavy. me and mike got the train into town about quater past nine i think. got to millenium point. the insanely huge new building that no one has actually seen. its on the way to the old railway. fucking massive. anyway. theres a think in it called think tank thats a kinda science museum thing. lots of shit for kids and stuff. anyway. we were demonstrating phil. that lovable rascal. but yeah. from ten to four. ten to fucking four. on my feet trying to explain phil and be polite. its kinda good cos for the first two hours we were the *only* robot that was working. phil is the only robot thats worked 100% everytime without fail. our one problem is we run out of batteries but its not our fault. yeah. so everyone who came in then came straight to us. argh. but it was okay. some trying times. haha. kids. they played so well and phil was fucking brilliant. i think we had some of our best demonstrations. hes a hit with the kids and the ladies. and the men. but yeah. one kid actually punched phil of his pedestal. oh yeah. we got a bin and turned it upside down and but mikes hoody round him. he had gloves and was holding a book titled 'the race for conciousness'. hell yeah. oh and one thing that made my day. i beat the connect4 program. uh. i think im only the second person to do it (without abusing the bug in the program apparently) and the first was suzanne who wrote it. but yeah that made my day. shame for them tho cos there robot wasnt working at all. oh well. in think tank they have some pretty cool stuff tho. this robot arm that plays a drum sequence you can specify. drums two and six are the fattest. kevin warwick helped with a lot of it apparently. i got name dropping with one of the officials. i accidently slagged the whole place off to one of them as well saying what a waste of money the building was (just bloody look at it) and theres no sign posts anywhere for it. idiots. but we scored major brownie points forbeing fucking good basically. and they dont want us to take phil apart yet cos they want him for other demonstrations. i gotta send the code to gavin. can ya say yeah? incubus were the fattest. anyway. yeah. i know exactly where we are. where the fuck are we? postmortem gig on tuesday. haha. itll be funny. i just hope we pull of the song that sounds like lost prophets. hmm. fuck them anyway. i wanna be in a band that covers redefine. now im just waffling. exactly got a week to get regress cds. i made some flyers for a website last night to hand out at the gig. i know its really anal but i like making flyers. im sick of painting in black and white. did i ever explain that dream i had? yknow i spend so much time writing shit here i dont update the rest of my site. oh well. yeah. me and all my friends ever were in some country. a 'safe' country. and we were at some train station factory thing. and then this big cloud of black smoke started rising from the horizon. the sky was amazing. like old biblical paintings. all golden and brown and ..well black. i dunno what was burning but i do know it was miles and miles away and the flames were burning so hard that we could see them rising into the sky. and growing. and getting near. so we just ran towards them. and i didnt wake up then either. i woke up later. if that makes sense. no. nevermind. yargh.

18.1.2002: so its the 18th. but only by one minute. one minute left that is. i went to goth shite early.. at the bristol pear. it sucks. more than it used to. although they never used to play wayne static and various other techno shit. hmmmm.. guess what? subway had its grand opening today.. although its been open for over a term. all day today.. well.. what was yesterday and today theyve been given away free 6" subs when you buy a 99p drink. isnt that just amazing. so 6" vege max in the house. but yeah. ive had stuff i wanted to write in here.. but ive been so busy i only had time to take notes. is that enough for me? or do i have to spell it out in little ascii characters and inflict it on the web? pish. man does anyone even know what means anymore? pyah. nevermind. but yeah. i took notes so i didnt forget. im sure that takes the point out of writing it cos i feel i need to. when i just forget anyway. but yeah. regress cds are now on the way. no one else was making any effort so i decided i better considering the next gig is next sunday (27th). couldnt find anywhere so i got the guy dave knows to do it. its 65quid and its stickers on cds but nevermind. its gotta get done. looks good anyway. fatness. yeah. my project is getting hard. i keep finding stuff wrong with my functions which makes it really hard. yeah.. what i just said. had a crazy day on wednesday. demonstrating phil. phil just fucking rocks. in early. trying to explain to idiots that its not actually really shit. it is actually kinda complicated. no we dont map the reading of the microphone to the mouth. fuck off. im a reasonable man get off my case. no. im just listening to amnesiac. well im not. its mp3d but whatever. i had to buy a cable for five quid from comet to connect my laptop to my stereo. bastards wouldnt even throw in a scart cable for mike with his mass purchase. its his birthday as well. nevermind. so yeah. phil. but on the whole it was good. phil acted brilliant. so many people went "woah!".. its just not a reaction you get from other robots. they do what you expect. but not phil. he interacts. yeaaah. anyway. one of the judges from robot wars was there. hes actually a lecturer at sheffield but hes taking two years out to promote robotics. he does a lot of biorobotics stuff. fucking amazing. noel sharkey. and he said that phil was really impressive. very ambitious. and much better than anything final year students at sheffield do. phil is making me very happy. and steve grand was there. the guy who did creatures and is doing lucy. lucy is amazing. mike said steve grand is our generations darwin. and hes probably write. come on. its all going to be his fault. yeah. so it was wicked. went to bobby browns later as well. after being so knackered. we left really really early tho cos sian didnt feel well. i forgot how mixed it is in that place. some of the rooms really really suck but some of the shit they play in the co2 bar is quality. yeah. i cant remember what i did yesterday. im that tired. drained more like. i think ive finished my sussex application form. written about myself. i sound really interesting apparently. is any of that coming across? maybe i should rewrite my me page. but that may involve lots of little animated gifs. ive got til the end of violently happy to wrap this up. um. im just talking to myself now. sorry. stop reading. its not gonna get any better. im sure those loads of vaguely interesting links down this page.. i should sort them out sometime. but.. not now. sian keeps asking if im gonna be long. i havnt yet but im gonna add some more links to the links page. a really good graffiti page. and some crazy ai and graphic design stuff. that will do. i gotta get up at eight tomorrow. get to millenium point think tank to demonstrate phil. i hope leigh doesnt piss me off for his sake. gimp. anyway.. i hate to end on a sour note. oh yeah. i had a dream the other night. a weird dream. apocalypse dream. very biblical. with an amazing sky. the most amazing sky ever. and then there was smoke and fire.. and im sure you know the rest of the story. normally i think that would have left a bad feeling in me for days. but it felt fine. i woke up quite happy. is it like facing a fear? i dont know. its not something i think much about. pretty amazing dream tho.. yeah.. and the song comes to an end..

13.1.2002: hey up. the day after going to xls. just knackered. it was fucking good last night. better than normal but i guess its cos i havnt been for ages. not since that guy was stabbed in the toilets anyway. hasnt changed much. the taps in the toilets still dont work. one in the ladies does but its a bit of a pain getting to it. yeah. loads of people went. i managed to get four good dances rather than the usual one. pretty good going. it all started with a certain shade of green. why does that always happen? its the hardest song to dance to in the world. i was getting angry tho cos you need space and the dance floor was full of idiots. most werent even dancing they were standing about. anyway. the first time in my life (i promise) i thought fuck it and rammed into a few people. its what the dance floors for. dancing. anyway. then there was hundred reasons with ill find you. that songs much better than i thought yknow. yeah. limp bizkit. hmmm. it was my way. but you never get any room to dance when limp bizkit it playing (and its really easy so its fun right) but there was loads of room right in the middle. and i really really enjoyed it. it does have a good bit. i always liked wes anyway. hes gorgeous in that video. and he can dance. i lost my cup of water tho. it kinda went everywhere. ysee it was that fun. and snot. another impossible song to dance to but nevermind. it was the last dance. they played bleed american and various other stuff as well but they dont count cos i was already dancing. yeah. so im glad thats out of my system. still. ive done no work so far today. thought about virtual reality a bit. thats a new module im doing. looks hard. i need to find a good project. regress have two gigs coming up both with dave i think. 27th of january and 1st of feb. i guess i should update the regress website. will do. but yeah. im off to a postmortem practice now. they dont have a bassist and they have a gig in just over a week. sucker me. yeah well its fun. did i tell you that simon is giving incubus one of our cds? hmm. whatever.

8.1.2002: shit i havnt written here for ages. id apologies but who to? dont know. anyway. yeah. wow. what a good holiday. what do i did? well first i guess i went down to brighton. that rocked. me ben and martin went down on the train it was cool. went to grubs. i love that place. its amazing. hung out at bens friends house. they got a good house. they all opened their christmas presents which was cool but i really wanted to open something. yknow. its like the excitement of christmas but without actually having it. or something. i dont know. the sainsburies by their house has a travelator. what the hell? then we went shopping round brighton. its cool for shopping. bought some rare records. nwa remixes by christophe de babelon and kid606. still havnt listened to that. and dave mckean had a new book out. a big hardback. really nice. a maxx gen13 crossover i never thought id find. nice. ate at grubs again. and we ate at the ferkin in the south lanes. used to be a church. its the nicest ferkin ive ever seen. its really cool. we hung out on the beach a bit. saw some fat waves. got a bit wet. etc. wished i had a camera. and we managed to convince ben to have a go on the electric chair thing on the pier. yknow what i mean. the vibratey things they have in all arcades. we went to the alleycat as well. nice place. gets dark really early tho. i dont belive ive gotta decided between this place and birmingham for my masters degree. its so fucking tough. went back to bens. chilled. went to his friends. chilled. then we went down to the boutique to see fatboyslim and the chemical brothers. that was fucking wicked. we were right down the front. yeah. fucking cool. proper fucking cool. got the train back the next morning. met sian in rugby. went round john heywoods house. he was having a mulled wine thing. was nice but i was so shattered. then it was christmas. i got cool presents. really nice shirt of sian. and a tshirt. ssx tricky. bo. all the other cool stuff. was a good christmas i suppose. did sians families boxing day thing. hung around rugby a bit. saw mark which was really nice. then went to amsterdam for new years. no doubt the jammiest thing ive ever pulled off. you better fucking belive it. organised no earlier than two weeks before. ferry there and back. four star hotel. with ice machine. the greatest man. me sian martin and corey. met ben while we were there. oh all the stuff to talk about. i dunno. like our train on the way from the hook of holland was sparking so it looked like blue lightening was hitting our train. all the foreign stuff. it was just an amazing feeling to be out of england. got to amsterdam about two or something and got a taxi to our hotel. lushness. me and sian eventually got the room with the double bed. the other room you could open the window and climb up this ladder and get onto the roof. you could see for miles. it was just fucking superb. but it was all ensuite and breakfast in the morning with all the stuff. mtv in our rooms. and it looked out onto the street with trams going past. we got photos. at some point when i get photos of people ill scan them and do an amsterdam page like my prague page. we spent new years eve walking about the town and checking stuff out. went on a canal cruise thing. went to the flee market. red light district. all the coffee shops. it was just a cool day hanging about looking around exploring. ate at this really nice chinese restuarant. during which some guys set off three reams of bangers outside and just down the road. all the smoke. its hard to explain the craziness really. i never realised egg foo yung was so nice. is that how you spell it? i never really noticed i supposed. but yeah. got a message from ray which was amazing and we met him at the lime bar. which was this really cool bar. nice people groovy music. cool. it was lucky cos we spent ages trying to find somewhere to drink before. nightmare. all the bars sell coffee and weed only. haha. we did find one place which was nice. well. it woulda bin well seedy but the people were cool. had a quiz machine as well. hard to explain the bar but it was nice. the lime bar was wicked tho.. had a big glass window front so we could see the street. there was a chinese shop opposite and the guys there were lighting rockets and firing them out of their hands. crazy shit. one of them span out of control bounced off the wall and hit this guy in the back of the head. white explosive shit fills the street. pretty amazing site but i bet the guy was deaftened in his left ear for life. but as it got to midnight it was amazing. me and martin wanted to go on the roof of our hotel to check out all the fireworks but sian and corey were too chickenshit. haha. but yeah. we went down to the nearest square and it was just the coolest new years ever. the fireworks were going on for over half an hour. and people were going crazy. it was such a wicked experience. i guess new york times square looks pretty crazy. but considering ive spent the last god knows how many with my parents (which is good dont get me wrong) i cant really imagine it being any better. i remember a party one new years in the bunker in rugby. i guess hardly anyone will know what that is. but it was like miles undergound and just well cool. but yeah. amsterdam. then the next day it was so peaceful. the floor in some places was so deep in red paper from bangers it took the piss. me sian and martin made our way to the museum quater. what we found there was probably the coolest thing we could have found. in the middle of all the museums and art galleries is a big park. which had all frosted over and was sparkly white. and there was an ice rink. and people were open air skating. all the families and stuff. straight out of a movie. we just stood about watching. it was so cool. walked about a bit in the semi-snow. there was this weird whirlwind tube there and these squares on the floor that played chimey chords when you trood on them. and these mongolian musicians. they make the most amazing sound. walked around some more. met ben and corey. ben couldnt believe how nice our hotel was. yknow me and sian made breakfast every morning. and since we went to be after about four every night i dont think we could have had fifteen hours sleep the whole time we were there. and i felt great every day. we went out again. ate at an italian this time. really nice big folded pizza. yeah. and we walked around trying to find somewhere that sold alcohol. we stayed up late playing cards and drinking. using the ice machine obviously. i wish i had photos already but oh well. then the next day we went to the van gogh musuem which was free cos some of it was in chicago. they had loads of his technical drawings and shit. amazing. and they had a gallery about old america. then we went to the modern art gallery which was brilliant. we didnt have much time cos we had to catch our train. but i really enjoyed it. caught a tram to dam square. met corey. got our train. sounds easy huh? ..haha.. yeah. it felt a bit shit getting back but it was made interesting by not being able to get off our train at rugby. the bastards only let the doors unlock for like ten seconds. so we went to nuneaton. came down with the worst cold ive had for ages the day after. but it had been coming on since before senser. i guess it was time to let it come. had to finish our write up for phil tho. but we got it in. oh yeah. got a phil page up. here. i knocked it up in about half an hour so its not great. but its enough. we had to do it as part of the assesment and me and mike already did about 97% of the work already. thanks a fucking lot leigh. anyway.. there you go if you were interested. robotic head indeed. gotta go now tho. im sure theres more shit i wanna write about but have written loads already. matt says i should get a live journal. this is true. maybe. but would anyone really want to know? im not sure. im doing pop11 demonstrating. which means ive gotta teach first years programming again. good money. and it looks good on my cv. my project supervisor is the guy who runs the pop11 course. so i got on in for demonstrating no problem. yeah. anyway. love you all. haha. its rock soc at the brook tonight. hmmmm.

19.12.2001: hmmm. hello. well im at home. in rugby.. moved back for the christmas holiday. im currently trying to connect my new computer to old computer.. but of course its not working. to change the network shit on the old computer i need the windows disks which i left in birmingham. but then i realised i left them in birmingham cos the cdrom drive still wont open anyway. i suppose i could just get a new one. infact my dad might already have a new one. but it needs fitting and theres so much shit going on at the moment. were having a new drive put in which means digging everything up. so currently theres no water at all. yesterday we had water but couldnt use half of the sinks or the shower cos they drain straight into the garden. the day before we found out our gas pipe had more holes in it than.. ummm.. my long sleeve blue tshirt. which is great huh? ..we also dont have an oven for some reason. i dont know. still have electricity tho which is always nice. but yeah. i dont see why my computer says the local area connection is down. its blatantly all plugged in and my other computer worked just fine before. maybe its a 95/xp problem or some shit like that. hey senser were cool. theyve been better before tho. although the new stuff is really good. the bass sound was kinda poor and heitham really needs to cut his hair. and the support band kennedy soundtrack were kinda interesting. hey im talking to corey. hey corey. hello. that was cool although my ears warm. coreys up for amsterdam. oh yeah. were trying to get to amsterdam for new years. we can get travel. currently working on places to stay and stuff. it be fucking boston. boston maine man. but anyway. what was i saying? yeah.. i like nottingham. we went to the trip to jeruselum. supposed to be the oldest pub ever. its kinda carved out of the cliff. its cool. hmmm. missing sian. and ive gotta phone flo about my driving lessons. and i think i may have a dentist appointment today but im not sure. argh. shit i forgot. remember phil? well i have some photos now. check him out. we got a mention as one of the three that people were saying they most liked. didnt win a bottle of wine but then i never thought we would. was scary for a minute tho cos the connect4 people were given second prize and everyone always through the draughts robot sucked and they were the other people to get a mention. oh well. now we gotta.. well.. i gotta get on with the write up. not sure what i gotta do tho. i am so shit at write ups. i guess i got write about kismet. however. however however. shut up. but yeah. im sure ive done loads of stuff and just not bothered to write about it. probably for the best..

7.12.2001: roll on is such a good song. but yes. heres me slaving over my project round sians house. maybe its time for a break. want to know what freaked me out earlier? i was walking past the evil alley and as i passed it the door shut. there was no wind or anything. i guess its becoming scared of me or something. i know too much about its sordid secrets. or something. alec empire was good. well. between trying to start fights and just being silly. got a funky hip hop sound. nice to slow it down a bit sometimes you know. so fucking heavy. and he pinched sians sisters ass. haha. and the support band were pretty good too. i think they were called deathrow but im not sure. hmmmm. argh the loudness of digital hardcore. my left ear is numb. argh noise. harry potter is a parseltongue. didnt see that one coming. well. yknow. i woulda done if i knew there was such a thing. what a twist. anyway. yeah. had a bad train journey tho. we got on and it was cool and then this couple came on with this kids. they were your standard immigrant family whos kids come up to you with cardboard signs saying they have no money and everying. anyway. they were argueing for hours really loud and it was really shit. got worse tho. the train had to wait ages in coventry and the ticket guy came down the train and they didnt have valid tickets. well they kinda did. but after that it started getting a bit violent and it ending with this big guy beating the shit out of his wife. this is when me and sian decided to move seats cos it was literally right next to our seat. it wasnt running away tho cos we went to tell the authority or whatever. what a fucking mess. how does this shit get so bad? they had kids. can you really get so angry to pummel and kick your wife infront of you kids and a train full of people. we would have moved earlier but people were already standing up cos there was no room and we had a longish journey. hmm.. my news page is just turning into a diary. is that bad? i dunno. i really dont think anyone actually reads this anyway. haha. but its just yknow. when shit like that happens you just feel like you have to tell people. a lot of stuff like that has happened recently. maybe its nothing to other people. but yknow.. i think its really interesting i bought a record from every floor in tempest. no really. hmm. on with the work.

5.12.2001: theres a rather strong wind blowing. okay. a really really strong wind blowing. the storm is coming. or is it here already? who knows. but there it goes again. im afraid my house will blow down. seeing alec empire tomorrow. hmmm. and phil gets his first demonstration. website to come soon. umm. you know what is amazing tho? i saw amelie yesterday. thats amazing. i thought good films were a thing of the past. its the first new amazing film ive seen since fight club. well at least i think it is. just goes to show how talented juenet is. i wanna see marc caro do a film now. im thinking maybe he bought some of the darkness to their previous films. dont know. but amelie is just brilliant. here is another film everyone should see. another? ..hmm.. not many films id recommend to everyone. but this is one. what a fucking genius. i could go on for ages about it.. what a nice film. just go and see it. itll make your day. i promise. one more thing. i thought this was weird. i bought a record from every floor in tempest today. how irratating is that?

3.12.2001: well technically. i cant sleep.. its about half one. so its kinda the second. but its actually the third. nevermind. lots of random things in my head. fruit kebabs from the german market which was in town today. strawberries on a big stick coated in white chocolate. they were the nicest fucking strawberries ive ever had. probably. umm. the amazing low red moon the other night. i ordered the designers republic book. brilliant. i also nearly killed someone in the robot lab. my anger level just builds in that room. the people are just cunts. im fed up of going in and someone has used our handyboard and the batteries are dead. argh. emilys party. hmmmmm.. im fed up of people having issues. and people presuming the wrong thing about how i feel. or why i feel like it. just dont read too much into that. please. haha. merzbow is also in alec empires new band. what a fucking super group. i think i just woke sian up with my typing. sorry. what else? did i say i couldnt sleep? i guess its cos i got to bed at 6am last night or whatever. java swing sucks. its true. i want some warm milk. yes. and a long sleeve blue tshirt. my old ones ripped to bits. pretamanger. its expensive and owned by mcdonalds but the sandwiches are damn nice. must see amelie this week. i need to get some sleep. oh man. im gonna be so busted in the lecture tomorow. okay thats it. im going ot bed. and that last sentence took me five minutes to write. haha..

29.11.2001: so hows it going peeps? ..brilliant. well i added a new picture of me to my bass stuff page. and im updating the news page. if that counts. jeez. nah. i got a new computer the other day. how cool is that? it runs emulators amazing. mike showed me this graphics mode you can put most of them in and it makes the graphics so much better than they were on the original consoles. so how the fuck does that work? ..who knows. and i got all the regress cd covers back. looking good. a bit red but i knew the brown would never come over quite how i wanted it. just waiting for someone to print the cds now. slackers. which reminds me. you know who really pisses me off. lost prophets. the whole transformers thing was my idea. my band was gonna use the transformers logos. anyway. have you seen the posters and cover for shinobi vs dragon ninja? dont you think they look a bit like this. and thats nearly a year old. bastards. theyll be ripping off wipeout next. hey. alec empires new band is playing northampton next week. its with nic endo and charlie clouser of all people. fucking hell yeah. hmmm. bad news? we went into the robotics lab yesterday to work on phil and our handyboard had been fried. its the big block that controls everything and hold all the code. big shit. and phil is this head weve made out of lego. um. a bit like kismet i suppose. ill get some photos up at some point. actually. ill get a website for him up. its part of our marking scheme. so.. yeah. anyway. gotta keep busy..

24.11.2001: i was thinking about what to write here on the coach coming back from manchester last night. well. this morning. i was gonna say how cool jillies is. what a good night it was. even tho the turn out was kinda poor. they played senser and pop will eat itself. and the breeders. and vitamin. what an amazing change to certain shade of green (come on. no one can dance to that fucking crazy rhythm). they even had breakdancers. i got so knackered i reached that place you think you can only get by taking drugs. me and mike even kicked some ass on pang3. and the people werent all gimps either. the coach got back at about six or something. radio feisar beaming out. i hate the way people say they have really wide and open minded music tastes. and then go on for ages about how shit some music is that is actually really amazing. oh well. but yeah. i woke up in what would be the middle of the night with sian going 'whats the matter?' and i was kinda screaming and then i realised my legs were all fucked up in a major way. i dont think theyve ever hurt that much and i couldnt move them or anything. worst experience ive had for ages. fucking cramps. i can only just walk. what the hell is that about? oh well. not enough salt i suppose. and work stress. ive gotta go into the robot labs today but im gonna wait till it gets dark. missed nearly all the day already. got out of bed gone two. sians still in bed and its four now. and its fucking miserable weather outside. i really need to do my project as well but cant get java working on my pc anymore. id reinstall windows but my cdrom wont open. any ideas anyone? grrrr. i had it working good on mikes computer but its being weird. well it might be. i cant tell. which is really bad. good night tho. dont believe we left when voodoo people was playing tho. and the guy didnt have refused. pish yah.

20.11.2001: i kinda cant be bothered to do this right now. but if i dont i never will. its cos theres so much to write about. hmmm. updates. well. regress online is finished. looking smart i thought. well i say finished. you can download all our stuff and there are actually pictures of regress now. brilliant. one day it will be great. what else. i spent all day today trying to convert my project to an applet. what did i learn? that applets are *shit*. so i think im gonna have a really cut down version as an applet. theres a really cut down cut down version here. please excuse the bright screen. and if you find any really good pictures please printscreen it and send it me. cheers. so what else. what a weekend it was. cheers to everyone who made it. i totally enjoyed it. it was amazing. probably my favourite regress gig yet. and it was so cool to see everyone again. would have liked more time but oh well. theres always christmas.. saw harry potter on sunday. yep. and sians house mates bought me old skool two. i was too embarresed. oh well. but what a quality weekend in rugby. did i say ben got me tickets for a secret chemical brothers gig in brighton? what a fucking star. what a good weekend. i even got atari teenage riot played. raverbashing lets go!! come on. um. yeah. anyway. gotta dash. meeting sian at subway at seven. and its eleven minutes to now. shit.

14.11.2001: i think the double gig last night took its toll. i feel so shit today. come down with a cold. but yeah.. i enjoyed it. it was much better than i thought it was gonna be. first time i tested out my full bass rig as well. now im just stressing about getting everyone to rugby on saturday. hmmmmm. and i missed an important lecture this morning cos i felt so shit. i just hope someone took good notes. anyway. another band practice in 40 minutes. in the last three weeks i think ive probably spent well over 100quid on bands. i guess that includes recording. but still. too much money. oh yeah. good news. i managed to find some webspace for regress courtesy of brilliant. so now you can actually download our stuff without geocities being shit. which is cool. anyway.. im just talking crap now.. as ever. *sigh*

9.11.2001: grrr. why is everything pissing me off? i just wanna stay in and chill and do funky shit. like my project. i just got it working. wanna see some of the results? it totally blew my mind. i put in functions almost at random. i havnt really thought about what operators and maths to stick in. i guess i have to do that now. but who would have thought this shit would have looked this good? dont just take my word for it. go here. theres a few repeats on that page. dont know why. oh well. cant fix it right now. and the pictures have suffered the nasty jpg compression. but. just look. wow.

9.11.2001: its such a fucking amazing temperature outside. my nipples hurt so much. bathe me in sound. etc.

4.11.2001: bombs: scary or exciting? just grow the fuck up.

2.11.2001: damn it the moon is amazing tonight. i thought id make a start on the new regress website. a much needed over haul. so anyone who ive directed here to check it out should keep on going to here. nice.

2.11.2001: wow i heard from martin. nice one dude. it now looks like the whole rugby posse is go for the 17th. all friends are invited. email me. what else? well my fingers are hurting from playing so much bass this week. the new regress cd is gonna be good tho. i really like all the songs this time round. all of them. haha. ive been working on some cd cover ideas. wanna see some? here here here and here. im at the stage where i do loads of random things from some pictures i like. im hoping marco sees something and gets some amazing idea i can work with. brilliant. but yeah. i went to the fireworks thing at the vale last night. it was quite cool.. all the fairground lights and the fireworks and the full moon and all the noise and squealing and candy floss and toffee apples. bump into everyone as well. which was cool. felt a little drowsy this morning but i think that was the whiskey. i rediscoverd bis. i know so many people who hate them but they have some amazing songs. amazing. caustic sofa. cookie cutter kid. skinny tie. anyway..

29.10.2001: no news. well. yeah. went to nottingham on saturday. it was okay i guess. never did find that party the other night. and i got my breakfast in derricks cafe for only £1.10 this morning. hi simon if you ever read this. and i hope your computer turns into a slug as well if you dont. ive spent today trying to find infomation on doing various different masters at various unis.. i kinda fancy london or brighton. a change of scene would be nice. some variation. i really love birmingham. but i wanna see other places too. im even considering america (europe would rule if i wasnt monolingual) which would either be amazing or a really bad idea. who knows. excuse me im in a talky mood. regress are recording on november 3rd. weve got practices all this week.. it should be cool if i survive it all. haha. and dont forget my dads party on november 17th. email me martin. else ill make it a whale. a damn big whale. anyway. i filled in some more information about films that i like. its much harder than i thought. but nevermind. its really bright outside but all i can see in the sky is gray cloud. so go figure. i probably need to get out of the house. i cant stand to stay inside for longer than about three hours. and i cant sleep on my own anymore. its weird. i saw the harpies play at the finn last night. what have they done to that pub? oh well. they were cool. we found out what happened to the powerpuff girls tshirt sian was gonna get. nevermind. and i saw simon 'mad winkie' which was even weirder. saw him somewhere else recently. bug jam a couple of years back. the new incubus album has some amazing tracks (especially 'under my umbrella' and 'aqueous transmission'). so does the new tricky album now i think about it. and while im raving about decent music you should get your ass to my good friend coreys page pop20 and check out khabaal. that track is superb dude. hmmm. i really need to do more project work. i will dont worry. i really want to get in touch with some old friends but have no way. i hate it when you only know how to contact someone through email and their address is no longer in use. maybe one day theyll wonder what ever happened to that guy laurence and try emailing one of my old emails or search for me on the net and read this. keeti hopcraft? saffron charlotte? oh well. right. band practive in twenty minutes. ill talk to you peeps later. sorry for waffling so much.

26.10.2001: well i still havnt heard from martin. ummm. i will make someone eat a whole fish if i dont soon. oh shit im so bored. this may not make sense to anyone but martin. or him probably. nevermind. and. umm. its friday fucking night. and were not doing anything. trying to start an impromptu party but it doesnt look like its working. ben is dying his hair purple and green and going to an expensive club and doesnt even want to. i want to. argh. hmmm. we may just go out somewhere at random. shall we try and find the party at tennis courts? might be a plan. maybe. seeyas laters.

19.10.2001: miserable weather. started working some more on my project. check out some of my results. kinda interesting i thought. kinda. anyway. need to go to the shop. and theres a house party tonight. and one tomorrow. should be cool. too cold tho. moan. whinge. complain.

17.10.2001: i had my first feeling of christmas this morning. i got up early and it was dark. i could really feel the winter. went downstairs and the heating was on and it was all warm and cozy. no presents tho. and its probably not christmas. its just remembering the happy feeling that the winter can bring and just associating that with being happy about christmas when i was little. anyway. its more like summer now. which is always better. hmmm.. i found some really amazing photos of the world trade center (is this where people start frowning at me? pyah. fuck it) all mashed up. im trying to work them into my website but dont know how. nevermind.

16.10.2001: semi-skimmed milk and sweet peanuts. joy.

15.10.2001: its been raining big rain today. oh well. and i found some really funny photos of my friend ben on the net right here. check out the milkill tshirt in the photo of him with three arms. haha. i also did some updates but theyre all pretty minor. how dull. sorry. and i found something wrong with reality. it doesnt really exist. i was kinda freaked. oh well. and i heard someone was found stabbed to death in the toilets of xls on saturday night. it wasnt me. okay.

14.10.2001: hey kids. its sunday morning.. well.. afternoon. went to xls last night. it was the hottest its ever been. you couldnt dance cos of condensation on the dance floor. the djs couldnt cue up the tracks cos the cds were too wet. no shit. we left really early and went to subway for a 6" vege kiev. it shuts at 3am on friday and saturday. isnt that amazing? i got a mobile yesterday. anyone who should have my number but hasnt yet just send me an email. its got pinball on it. why? who knows. and we found a vege vegan restuarant in birmingham. how cool is that? which reminds me (not sure why tho) that i wore nail varnish last night. its been so long since i did that. its not really me anymore but i thought fuck it anyway.. the nice blue went with what i was wearing. hey. i managed to get a little plastic posable pilchard as well. theyve started doing them in packs and it came with bird. i just gotta get a scruffy now. its so damn cute. and they have the coolest things in the gadget shop. theyre like glass bricks that light up nice colours. i will get one. haha. anyway. i gotta stop rambling..

11.10.2001: i just walked home from sians and the sky is amazing. its a big blanket of blue. its too bright. i gotta get outside and enjoy it. so.. no news.

06.10.2001: saturday morning. where are the bombs? i dont want bombs going off and stuff but i think im gonna be disappointed if something doesnt happen. oh man that sounds terrible. all the people who said it was just a stupid rumour and there isnt going to be a bombing in birmingham would be eating their words. and the rubble. excuse my mood. haha. the sun just came out after the rain and i really need to get out. went to joe rooneys house party last night. first of the year. it was okay. we gotta have one of our own soon. should be cool.

01.10.2001: haha. so i got internet in my room. took my time i know but it took a lot of network fiddling. so what does this mean? i can check my mail whenever i want and update my website. so i have. and theres a lot of subtle changes. can you spot them all? first correct answer on a postcard wins a parma violet. but hmm. news. dj emokill from radio feisar is doing a dj set at the birmingham uni guild tuesday night if your interested. starts at 9pm. entry will be about three quid i think. haha. i can try and make it look glam. it means i get in free anyway. sigh.

24.09.2001: so now im back at uni. my rooms starting to look kinda nice. i might get some photos up at some point. but no time soon. check this out. its martin me and sian on the apocalypse at drayton manor about two seconds before it dropped us 54 meters. crazy shit. your brain just kinda switches off at that speed. but yeah. we then did it standing up. im not proud. just dont bother doing it. sitting down is fun but standing up is just.. fucking.. just dont do it. haha. i cant even begin to explain. so i wont. yknow if the world would only do what i said it would be a much better place. i promise you that.

21.09.2001: and the word of the month is: unprecedented. and what does it mean? it means you dont know how fucking lucky youve been so far. tell me its not true. just try. hey peeps chill. i uploaded a new song to radio feisar if youre interested. im not totally happy with it but ive run out of time. im going back to uni on sunday. it was gonna be saturday but now im going to drayton manor. woohoo. i also added some photos to the real photos page. ill add some more soon of my lovely girlfriend and her lovely car. i just noticed how slow the download speed on demon is as well. sorry about that. theres about 20megs of stuff on this website as well. oh well. but how great was the weather yesterday? and how great is it going to be today? come on. you know it makes sense.

19.09.2001: hey kids. okay. with the weather being so damn depressing now is the time to be as fucking positive as possible. so smile. okay? the sun comes from within. okay? and to cheer you up i scanned a photo of us at alton towers. its on the ghost train. me and martin were trying to look as bored as possible but i didnt manage it. i look kinda freaked but i was only trying to open my eyes as far as possible cos it was so dark. oh well. now laugh. hi to ian. and cheers to corey.

17.09.2001: hmm. hiya. first time ive really used the computer for nearly a week. it feels safer than i thought it was gonna. i was kinda worried. irrationaly. so what news do i have? well none. theres a rather large news block going on. if you didnt notice. does that make me feel safe or worried? neither. although ive had this amazing urge to read alan moores 'watchmen' all week. and i finished reading 'survivor' at almost exactly 2pm last tuesday. the world gave me the most fitting epilogue. you crazy bastards. remember whose garden you are playing in. okay? saw 'ai' yesterday. it was more kubrick than i thought it would be and speilberg did a brilliant job. it had some brilliant moments. and some superb lines as well. and the more i think about it the better i think the ending actually was. but im trying not to think about it. so i dunno. yeah. what else? went to alton towers. i want to go again. the day felt kinda weird. maybe it would again. im looking forward to going back to uni. but im also feeling like i somehow need to do something important. something to make a real impression. something big and better than anyone else. and then i started wondering if this is how people go from not wanting to have children to wanting them really badly. am i starting to understand? id rather not. i went to town early this morning. the people made me feel better and it was cold. a really comforting cold. makes you feel alive. it was nice. and there was this guy with this kid waiting to cross the road. he was telling his son "not yet. wait" and i was like. yeah. and we crossed the road and i saw the kid run up to this woman squeeling "mummmy". it was nice. anyway. ive been thinking for too long. and im gonna stop. im surprised how open im being when writing this crap. oh well. i dont think its a problem. haha.

11.09.2001: did i tell you i was learning to drive? i know ive left it a bit late (well kinda). but cars are one of my biggest fears. hey dont tell anyone. but yeah. nearly finished reading 'survivor'. good book but a bit morbid. not good for my mental health. not after my twentieth birthday. haha. but its getting better. trying to organise a trip to alton towers. its so difficult. and my hard drive keeps failing. it has my whole life on it (well in computer terms anyway). the amount ill lose if it cuts out is completely crazy. in fact. why the hell am i risking using it right now? shit. yeah. anyway. keep up the good work.

06.09.2001: hello. hows it going? nice today huh? yeah.. anyway. not so many updates as id hoped. added some new links to my links page. good luck in finding them tho. started adding stuff i like to the stuff i like page. is it worth it? well.. i doubt it. haha. i just had an idea for a new world record. the most simultaneous world record breaking attempts world record. it would be so easy. you wouldnt even have to actually break any records. well one. if someones thought of it before. but still..

01.09.2001: is it september already? where has the summer gone? ..and why is it taking me so long to make my new website? maybe i should spend more time on my third year project. hmmm..

31.08.2001: news page conception. nothing new to report.

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