news [archive 06]
hint: i think the best idea is to hit ctrl-f and type in some interesting word

9.7.2003: i think im gonna cry. our boiler keeps going out and this morning it reached the inevitable stage of not coming back on. i wouldnt have minded but i really needed a shower. there was no choice. the only thing worse than a freezing cold shower is a freezing cold shower in winter. so i guess im lucky for that. will mr.lanlord please sort it out. please

last night i did my first ever cooking with wine. and i reckon the results were pretty good. it was a cross between bolognaise and chilli. and theres plenty left for today. happy happy. i shall never cook without wine again.

dont you really hate trying to decide what apples to buy? well i got lucky this time because sainsburies have started to sell 'jazz apples'. oh how can you resist with a name like that? theyre pretty good too. although a little on the small side but they really pack a punch. yum.

weird dreams plus a glorious morning means i dont think i can stay inside and do work. i must go to town and down the beach. even if it is on my own. i got up far too late as well. hence the cold shower punishment. so yeah.. i cant bare the inside of my room any longer.

[a few hours pass] hey guess what? i just got back from town and jasper fforde is doing a talk and signing at the waterstones in town 7pm tonight. gawp. and they got this new book in softback. love. its huge tho. not sure where im gonna put it. i bought it and took it down the beach to read (eek all the boobies everywhere. put them away). read a few pages and now im excited. i took it back to get a refund tho. because the ticket price for the talk is 'redeemable against the purchase of the book'. and they wouldnt just give me a ticket cos id already bought the book. crazy. im also stocked up on liquorice and got some amazing looking tofu rice-corn burger things. they look too beautiful to eat. and the hybrid album of remixes. cant get the old album anywhere tho. even for £17.99. poop. now all i gotta do is find someone to come with me to see jasper fforde. any offers? you have two hours to contact me (starting now. um. 4pm).

oh man. not only is evey remix on the hyrbid cd fucking amazing. its also all mixed together perfectly. for that ill give them a link. what better way to show your love?

8.7.2003: i just found this. and in my defence id like to say that its not strictly true. dancing like an asshole requires to be surrouned by assholes. it doesnt have anything to do with alcohol. which reminds me.. lets ask cliff if he wants to go to the gloucester tonight. anyway im not sure if should be reading little gamers. i hate l33t. haha. even used ironicly. ack. i just got a text from cliff asking if i want to go to the gloucester tonight. um? but yeah. i have enough trouble getting the jokes on penny-arcade and they explain them. damn computer game geeks.

8.7.2003: oh wow oh wow. i just got my first crank call. exciting. i pick up the phone 'hello?'.. 'hello'. some dude i really dont recognise. 'yeah whos that?'. then something that sounds like 'is miss baker there?'. thats nicolas last name if you dont know. 'no shes at work sorry, can i take a message for her?'. then it drops.. 'is master bater there?'. oh sorry i thought you said baker.. haha. what a chimp.

i watched twelve monkeys last night (oh come on that was a brilliant link). along with an interesting documentry about gilliam struggling with the making of 'don quixote'. sheesh.. how many things can go wrong? but after seeing it i really want to see the film. apparently hes working on 'good omens' now. or so neil says (neil? haha. sorry). so i guess itll be ages or forever before 'don quixote' gets made. nevermind. going back to twelve monkeys.. that was my favourite film for quite a while when it came out. i hadnt seen it for ages but now my enthusiasm for it has totally returned. i had this huge grin on my face for the last half hour of the film. it all fits together so nicely. you gotta love it. there was just one thing that was confusing me tho. that guy who calls cole 'bob'. so i had a look around the internet and found this site. temporal anomalies in time travel movies. its actually pretty good. although there is an awful lot of intellectual snobbery (oh theres something else to add to my list of dislikes) going on in the letters pages. and i do disagree about a few things. mostly the meaning of the woman on the plane at the end. but thats barely that important. and im not so sure about whether the assistant wouldnt have access to the virus if railly hadnt have phoned goines. again. whatever. and id like to leave the 'fixed time theory' stuff alone please. does it matter? does it really? i guess the guy is talking physics when im talking entertainment. and leaving things a little open to interpretation is all good. damn scientists. i might email him and tell him to watch donnie darko. haha. so he can pull it apart until its about nothing but time travel? pish to that.

and im still loving that 'hot hot heat' video. yum. when you get bored of 'go with the flow' theres always 'no not now'. haha.

i dont know why or what.. but something reminded me of cafe connections. i have somewhat magical memories (now that sounds far cornier that how i meant). it was just a place we used to hang in the birmingham student guild building. well.. mostly hung out in the beorma bar just next door. but cafe connections did good baquettes. and lisa worked there for a bit and gave me amazing discounts. anyway. i was thinking about the quiz night they used to do in there which we attented a few times. i really enjoyed that. i have semi-drunk memories of losing. but its a real comfortable memory. im sure it wasnt that great at the time and i know noone but me enjoyed it. but still. late evening hazy comfortableness. i dont feel that anymore. perhaps it only works in retrospect (although if i think hard enough the gladstone comes pretty close). i remember writing something along these lines in the early third year about losing magic (hey i dont expect this to make any sense to anyone but me). maybe thats just how memories work nowadays. but i remember sian making a comment about what id wrote. although (as ever) she never really said what she thought or felt about it. just let me knew shed read it.. which is/was enough for me. that was one of those nice moments yknow. i had a dream just like that last night. and its made me feel quite strange today. hmmm. i wonder if sian ever reads my website. well i guess i dont read her emails anymore. haha (yes that was a joke). and i dont know what that would make me feel if she did/didnt. ill think about this and get back to you on it (or not if youre lucky).

anyway. how come ferguson never got his own series? haha. so i was just watching clasrissa and it was the one where she has an advice column. anyway.. someone writes to her and calls herself 'permanently damaged'. now martin claimed that the first milkill song was titled from something darth vader said. i now have my suspicions that it came from clarissa. haha.

on another note. i was actually trying to watch the news but got bored before i finished my sandwhich. some crap about a dossier. sigh. makes me a little worried when theres confusion between whether youre watching bbc news or 24 (not news24. just 24). um hello? reality check here. and although it is kinda important knowing whether our country acted on proper information (not that i think it makes any difference.. it just seems like people making excuses and counter-excuses) id much rather know what is actually going on over there now. fuck spin. its too late to say 'hey we shouldnt have gone to war because some dude said some shit' but its not too late to actually sort this out properly. come on. ffs people.

incidently.. i quite like this news site

7.7.2003: isnt ben just the coolest damn dude in the world ever? he gets in from work and what has he bought me? ..none other than a sleater kinney ticket! eek! id even totally forgot that they were playing here. go ben go.

7.7.2003: duh. i uploaded this page yesterday morning before id finished and then didnt get round to doing it again. id hate to think youd miss all the important stuff id said because you thought id read it. (i think i need to work some more sarcasm into that sentence). forget it. im fed up dealing with damn stochastic processes. they look like theyre working when theyre not and not working when they are. or more realistically.. just never look like its working ever. i hate Math.random(). oh whatever.

and im doing it again. i think its a bit strange that killing joke have a new album out this month. maybe stranger is that i really want it to be good. and to be honest im surprised that jaz is still alive. haha. i might buy it. i wasnt convinced by the single ..except it absolutely must have amazing remixs on it. although for some insane reason i cant find a tracklist on the interweb anywhere. butts.

so. can you get sued for writing/saying something libelous/slanderous on april 1st? no reason. any law students (oh as if) know any case studies? haha.. oh why i laugh.

and you may not have noticed but i updated the misc photos page. nothing new. just included stuff that id posted here. so it doesnt get lost in the archives never to be seen again. or something.

6.7.2003: it seems to be the time of the term where i have to start sleeping with my computer crunching away all night. i guess it wont take me long to get used to the fan. i need to do a serious amount of seriously long evolutionary runs. it managed over fifty through the night tho. and i still have many nights remaining. im mildly worried that my problem (a kinda semi-blind cart-pole) isnt hard enough. the direct encoding scheme is doing quite good. it should be struggling. i guess im gonna wait for the next batch of results and possibly drop the amount of nodes or weights. sigh. more fiddling.

on a more jaw dropping note.. i found this page yesterday (a link from mac hall comic). id love to tell you what its called but its all in japanese. some 3d anime thing anyway. the stuff this guy has been doing is amazing. especially the more recent stuff (that to be honest i thought was real until it started clawing around). so is that how they do anime now? some of the 3d movs are too good. i was just really disappointed that the quicktime files on his other sites dont seem to be there. poop.

so yeah. i can now shout out congratulations to the girls on their degree results (mind they probably wont actually see this ..although but they have been here before). especially rose. eep. welldone all. looks like its just me left now ..that final battle etc

i think im becoming addicted to valentines liquorice. it is top stuff. i may have to order some. but here is the classic mailorder purchase dilema.. how much do you order? the postage seems to remain pretty stuck at around three quid. so it makes sense to order loads. but then how can i justify spending fifteen pounds on liquorice oh. i just did. haha.

and some more project talk. i got a really good grade for my dissertation but looking back on it now i missed out an awful lot of well important stuff. there was very little talking about neutrality (especially in theory) which would have slotted in perfectly. but hey. cant complain now ..and dont need to. i just feel it was a little bare in that department (he says as some naked guy runs up the stairs past his door). um. okay. whatever.

oh yeah. and a bitch about my fucking frisbee. i hadnt seen it for ages. infact it was that time we all went down the beach and i left early.. feeling generaly pissed off with everyone for ignoring me the whole time. especially when they got back. but anyway. so yesterday nicola asks if she can borrow the frisbee. 'oh i dont know.. i havnt seen it for ages and have no idea where it is'. she looks at me a little funny 'have you not seen it?' what? turns out some dog had mauled it and put holes through it. oh right. and what? no one thought to tell me about it? they just ..what? hid it in bens room? this was where nick said that it was ben anyway. well at least ben chipped in a couple of quid for it. anyway. this really pisses off. and i hope that at some point i get a chance to make out how pissed off i am. if theres anything to be learnt from my history in the house.. then i probably wont. but honestly tho.. when a dog starts chasing after the frisbee ..thats the time that you stop throwing it. at least until the dog is far gone. but no. the drunk assholes probably thought it was funny. why are people so uncaring with other peoples property? it seems to be a constant subject of mine to write about. infact im going to add it immediately to my dislikes list. i may make some snide remarks about it for the next few days. an apology from someone would be nice. anyone. nick would of done (oh but as if). and not a sorry that comes out with a grin because you somehow still find it funny. thats just words.

oh and im totally over reacting btw. it still flies straight. apparently ..and as i speak ben is currently flipping burgers. haha. thats one hell of a way to use your newly aquired degree. (sorry to be such a bitch yall).

5.7.2003: so like.. anyone who even mildly suggests i like (eew dont even make me say it) metal can go stick it. now after making that perfectly clear id like to say that old is amazing. i hate machinehead as much as the next man (and more if im surrounded by assholes) but that song.. i only know it because sam goodies (hey remember that shit hole? i have no idea what is there now but it was where zodiac toy shop used to be. any ideas corey?) were giving away a copy of their album (which incidently dave mckean did the artwork for) and russel gave it to me. i even passed it on (this was before i knew who dave mckean was) to steven davies (who we imaginatively called 'snooker' hardy bloody hah). i then borrowed it back to stick old onto a minidisc that i was just playing. you see.. ever since i broke the audio-out on my computer ive been reduced to the cds i have with me and my minidiscs. i could have worded that a little better. ill start again.

so to explain the metal thing. and i do think it needs explaining. i get wound up by it because i swear its my absolute least favourite genre. but that doesnt stop me liking songs that you may class as metal (oh get lost is incubus metal). the same way i well dig certain pop songs and can appreciate a bit of squelchy techno. the same way that i cant help getting a little excited everytime i hear the marilyn manson song off the matrix reloaded soundtrack (its called 'new shit' and has awful lyrics ..please dont ask me how ive heard that).. the odd white zombie track.. or that old machinehead song. (glassjaw are metal? what is wrong with you dude?). so where does the hate come in? everywhere else. i do see the confusion though. here is a genre that id consider i know reasonable well (so even the better qualified to hate it) whereas i know nothing about (oh say..) house. you could take that as a sign of appreciation. ack. (as if hundred reasons are metal). but hey. um. i feel ive somehow lost my point again (in all those damn parenthesis). oh well. at least ive made my feelings clear. haha.

i really gotta lay of the brackets already.

5.7.2003: ive got an incredible urge for baking. hmmm. and 'not too soon' is clearly one of the best songs of all time. is it time for a playlist? everyone listen to these songs (its like homework okay?)

throwing muses - not too soon
bowie & smashing pumpkins - all the young dudes (mott the who?)
belly - are you experienced (jimi who?)
cathrine wheel - judy staring at the sun
veruca salt - my sharona (hahahaha)

and on a side note. i had an arguement a year ago about who originally did 'all the young dudes'. and yes it was mott the hoople. but bowie wrote it for them. so i stand by my claim that its his. ner ner etc. you really should follow that link btw. that mp3 is amazing.

so congratulations to all the girls (oh wait. not the girls. but rather the girls in my house) for all getting 2.1s. now thats team work (okay its not at all but shut up). we had a celebratory meal at (oh it was pinnocios or piccolos or picassos i cant remember) which do well good big pizzas for three pounds (count them one two three) with the whole gang (minus lux and aimee). (gee i love my parenthesis today dont i?).

just to prove that i have actually started my project. and for an incite into the working skills of laurence. here is me trying to work out what recurrency to have in my neural networks and how to convert my previous project work to do just that. incidently i have a run going right this minute. its not doing amazingly well which is good because its direct encoding and if it did well with that id have to find a new problem. words:

4.7.2003: so. ive sorted out the graphics page. note that ive now included some doodles. youve seen it all before. i dont think theres anything new in there ..infact some of them are smaller. so whatever.

its the second results day today. lux aimee and nicola. crossed fingers for 2.1s all round. i got some of my marks back for my last two term papers. both 65%. which are good marks (especially since i wasnt amazingly happy with my essay) but do bring me below the distinction line. but i dont think i care a whole lot about that. my computer vision exam will take it back up. but then neural networks will probably bring it down again. then my masters thesis... well that works differently anyway. apparently. whatever.

3.7.2003: ive got a question for you (although im not sure how to word it). why is toilet paper rolled double? yknow what i mean? ..each sheet is two sheets like. why is that? why arnt they just made of one thicker sheet? and yes this was caused by me getting agro because everyone but me buys the cheapest shittest toilet paper. and someone even had the audacity to suggest i buy toilet paper for the loo downstairs cos everyone uses it. like excuse me but i bought about half of the toilet paper for the upstairs loo in the first two terms and (to be a little crude) never shit downstairs.

and while im getting agitated. i waited an hour in barclays today to do a very very simple little alteration to my standing order that took minutes. why why why why why why cant they have seperate queues for people wanting to fuck about and people wanting to get on with it? it would have saved me half an hour anyway.

so in one week three books come out i want to read just as i get really desperate to read a book. this would be brilliant if they werent all only in hardback. id really love to be able to fork out 50+ quid for them all but.. yknow. theyll look funny next to my softbacks. sigh.

and also! glastonbury photos are out. hot off the press. or whatever. if anyone wants any of them any bigger just ask.. you got my number honey. or indeed if you want any of my other photos that you mysteriously know that i took (like that classic one of ben after he fell over in the toilet). i got plenty of stupid photos of all the peeps we were hanging out with if you want them. etc.

and while im still talking i may as well keep going.. ive taken down the odd few pictures around the site for various reasons. some of them were just rubbish. but mostly its because they didnt feel 'okay' without the words and explanations that i had far too much of on my previous website. they just didnt hold up on their own. i knew what i meant but they didnt come across like that at all. and yeah.. they were bull anyway. but is that what being a failed artist is all about? nah ah. its what not being an artist is about. word.

2.7.2003: so i did a little bit of investigative work.. ive started seeing these graffiti dudes all over brighton. i first saw them in amsterdam so was kinda surprised to see them down here. theres a few in the lanes and in various hard to find places. what is it all about? so i started trying to track down the people resonsible ..with nothing to go on. and i succeeded. theyre called the london police. and they have a gorgeous website. go me. the weird bulbous characters (that occasionaly appear in the window to the left) are called lads. and they are actually from amsterdam. so its a shame that half of their work in brighton has been painted over. damn philistines. and. oh. my. they. do. tshirts...

oh.. and i forgot to mention before. we were walking back from the pub last night and a bird managed to shit on ben and nick. i know its mean to laugh but.. all together now..

im still surprised at how loud the splat was. we thought someone had thrown up or something.

2.7.2003: i was just writing and thought.. hey wouldnt it be great if when you press ctrl+i notepad slots in a (oh how the hell do i do this in html?) < i> and then a < /i>. anyone know if thats possible?

anyway. saw 'dark water' last night. i just dont think i like horror films. even japanese ones. what i especially dont like (and this is since i saw something on is green corpses. especially when theyre girls and running around. but saying all that it was okay yknow. the whole single parent thing was painfully sexist but i guess thats just part of japanese traditional values (i know what i mean by that but if it sounds really bad it wasnt supposed to be). and the same goes for the obsession with little girls. i cant remember the last japanese film without some scary girl in it (okay it was afterlife but that film is just beautiful). some of the photography was brilliant. and some of the scenes were well good. especially this one scene at the end which i have no idea how to explain. but it was something i hadnt seen in a horror film before (not that ive seen that many) and i think worked really well. now i really want to see '28 days later'. i hear this has only just come out in america or something. its been out to buy here for ages. hey corey you knew id give in in the end huh?

i also just finished reading 'varjak paw'. i really enjoyed it actually. the last two books i read have been childrens books but properly quite scary (the other being neil gaimans 'coraline' and yes i am forgetting about 'the difference engine'). they were both really good and id recommend them. and thinking about it they would also both make really good films (or at least short films) and especially animations. i think 'varjak paw' would come across as a bit of a feline matrix tho. also domus. by the dude who wrote akira. seeing 'dark water' made me think that should be made into a film (and no not anime). it would be awesome.

sorry to anyone who read this and is in a hurry. ive written an awful lot since ive uploaded this (over 5000 words). what with glastonbury and stuff. but whatever. oh. and happy birthday to laura for yesterday. you should have told me dude..

1.7.2003: i love getting back off holiday. there are so many online cartoon strips to catch up on.. but anyway. its half two. ive only been up an hour. haha. our house is worryingly desolate. i havnt seen anyone but ben since i got back. and its kinda creepy having no postcards on aimees door. or having aimees stuff in the bathroom. or her stuff in the kitchen. infact all that is left is a colourful sanrio plaster. just incase i cut myself. anyway. it went like this.

wednesday: so we got up before seven. had our last shower. said our goodbyes to aimee. missed our first bus. arrived at the train station a minute before our train was supposed to leave. this made for a tense bus ride through town with all the clocks saying it was ten or five minutes to nine. we got on our train twenty seconds before it left. after the fiasco of losing my ticket (i really dont want to go into that) this seemed nothing. all the young people on the train were making me feel old. but whatever. it was a pretty harmless journey. we had no trouble. on site in no time at all. straight to our usual camp and my parents had the tent up already. boston. then fran (sians old housemate) arrived with her friends. then tori and her family. so that was pretty fun. talking to people i havnt seen for a year. had a damn nice vege cornish pasty. the pizza place wasnt open yet. then me and ben went and sat up at the stone circle for a bit watching the hippies and girls with poi. sigh. drinking vodka gin and fruit. i love glastonbury.

thursday: we felt so tired all of thursday. its a weird day thursday. normally spend it walking around all the stalls but i didnt really want to buy anything or could be bothered. we just ambled around til about two. then waited for martin who took about four hours to get in (or something equally obscene). so we (or rather he) got their tents up (plus martins friend jo) and we went for curry. it was top shit. totally stuffed out. it was brilliant. wandered aimlessly around the market. after that the memories become a bit hazy. im pretty sure it was the night we bought a bottle of wine each and got reasonably drunk to very drunk. and the rest. i remember sitting up by the stones around a flare someone had left eating something with whiskey in. listening to the crazy drummers and watching more girls doing various things with various things on fire. and going round the markets in search of pizza. or some other munchy food. i remember where we went for it. and sitting down eating it on the bench.. thinking.. hell yeah this is the shit right here. loving glastonbury something chronic. but i cant remember for the life of me what we ate. ben seems pretty convinced that it was pizza. and this makes sense considering the pizza place was shut before so we would have gone back. but i just cant picture it. oh wait. yeah i can. i can remember trying to eat it of the edge of the paper plate. then we went back and sat in bens tent.

friday: heres were the party really starts. woke up early feeling surprisingly good. although very hot and very tired. the sun heats the tent up to an almost unbearable temperature by about half nine. this has its blessings as we made it to see the darkness. who were on at half tenish. and were well well good. he came on looking like axl rose. haha. and they did an amazing set of ludicrous cock rock. i swear he sounds like robert smith. not when he sings well high. but yknow. they were a fantastic start to the bands tho. and nothing was really quite as good as their cover of street spirit (by the radioheads). metaaaaal (you know how it goes matt). blinding it was. blinding. all i have to say is this. go forth and download. motherfurckerrrrs. i have so much love for that band. as much as i have for the hare krishnas. they sorted us out a well good breakfast. we sat and ate 'gunk' while it started to rain. and this 'cute as no bodies business' ginger kid filled up this bottle top with rain water over and over again. the krishnas tho.. it so good of them to give out free food (obviously i always made a donation). and they give out good vibes all the time. it was bit crap how it rained but in retrospect it was good. aslong as its not for too long (and it wasnt) its all good. you get less dust. so we sat around in our tents and then went to see de la soul. got right to the front really easily (except we had to see a bit of echo and the bunnymen and pretend we liked them). to be honest i thought de la soul were a bit not amazing. but it was still cool. far too much crowd participation for the time of day tho. and then of course we were right down the front for mogwai. mogwai always were and always will be amazing. but putting them on at four is obscene. they were really good but not ..yknow.. the best thing ever. obviously they can never better their gig in 1999. but it was a good set. the new songs were brilliant. dominic looked a bit bored tho (bit?!? understatement of the year). and the mighty 'my father my king'. so zwan was next but they cancelled. so we got a drink and headed back into the fray for the music. i well like the music and im definately gonna get their album. the guy can dance. we saw half the set (waiting for 'whoo whoo whoo' single whatever its called) and had a semi decent dance. went to see audio bullies. after buying their album and loving it i was kinda disappointed. i think this was less to do with them but more to do with the dance tent (ill explain this later). dashed back to the hare krishnas (i dont know why but i think its weird that they have a website) for dinner. i think it was mashed spud. haha. the guy said he was gonna talk for a bit on what they are all about. and i was kinda interested but he started waffling on (with some occasional seriously dodgy science) so i left spiritualy unfulfilled (theres a joke in there about the amount of potato i ate but just forget it okay) or something. wasnt too bothered. we heard some james lavelle while eating but hed finished while we ate. we went all the way over to the new bands tent and saw junior senior tear it up. i thought everyone would be there for their big hit but straight away on the first song everyone was shouting all the right things at the right bits. it was quite scary. the people loved them tho. it was totally fun fun fun. theyre like bis meets b52s with a bit more funky dance. they got the biggest applause of the weekend for 'move your feet'. it seemed like it at least. they were so much fun. i like the picture on their website front page. then we (all my sentences are starting with the words 'then' and 'we'. ill rectify this shortly) trekked all the way across the site to the lost stage to see hybrid. i only stayed for two songs but they were awesome. and perfectly loud as well. by this time id drank a nice amount of my vodka and sent the bottle with martin back to the tent to be refilled (that sounds bad but he was heading that way and then meeting jo at the glade). so i left early to meet them and go see rem. luckily we missed david gray. the pyramid stage was so packed we could barely get in. but we managed to find a decent space. they were good. but i decided i dont really like rem. i just love michael stipe. the rest of the band are just kinda boring or something. i know that sounds mean but yknow. hes the one with all the charisma. they just put together catchy chords and shit. thats not too amazing. anyone can kinda do it. possibly. im not sure. and havnt thought this through. they played the hits. if they had played 'leave' i would have died happy. but as if they are ever gonna play it at any gig i go to. why thats my favourite rem song i dont know. anyway. it took us a good 30-40 minutes to get out of the field and up to the cinema because it was so packed (but to be fair we didnt really know the best direction and doubled back a few times). we were supposed to meet ben there but failed. so we watched the last half of donnie darko without him (he saw primal scream). how many times do i have to say how much i like this film. its total top three films of all time material. yes that means it might even be number one or two. seeing it at glastonbury at one in the morning made it that oh so bit more fucked up. sitting there on the cold grass infront of this huge screen grinning. i have too much love for that film. love will tear us apart again. by the time it had finished i was frozen through. it was the coldest (and furthest) walk back to the tent. i really appreciated the glade which was surprisingly warm. what an amazing friday.

i well liked saturday. there werent that many bands that i wanted to see so me and ben spent a lot of time just hanging around enjoying the glorious weather. got up late and dossed. spent ages in the comedy and circus fields. saw some terrible acts in the cabaret tent. these three guys in horrible coloured suits singing awful songs. the whole war thing got a bit tiresome too. it was just a quick and easy way to get a cheer and soon became a bit tiresome. yeah fuck the wars and governments etc. whatever. we saw some good juggling mind. this guy was juggling to 'another one bites the dust'. it was somewhere between good and embarressing. this other guy was doing some cooking routine (yawn.. the half naked chef). and once again they had huge letters spelling out 'love' that people could climb on and paint. i think its well good. and i double like it because when viewed from the otherside it looks like 'evil'. there will be photos of all this coming soon. there were the best clouds in the sky it was amazing. sauntered over to the leftfield tent and happened to see a debate on blood for oil ..that wasnt a debate at all. it was a panel of people who were all really anti-war. so it was a bit lame really. and kinda hypocritical too. like these are the good guys so you believe everything they say when theyre telling you to not believe anything anyone else is saying. and im sure some of it is a little suspect. but yknow. they meant well. tony benn did a rap apparently but we missed that bit of his speech. haha. we saw saw of jimmy cliff on the main stage. that was just cool. bumped into a few people from birmingham (the usual matt paul henry chris) and had a semi awkward conversation. i ate a square pie (bens was nicer. he had wild mushroom and asparagus) and then we went to see phil kay. on the way we saw these scary fucking women all dress rather complicatedly in white with weird baby masks on the top of their heads (i may have taken the baby bit from brazil but im not sure). scary freaks man. phil kay started pretty badly considering how good he was last time we saw him. he got pretty good towards the end. he did some good improvised songs. picked on this guy called kingsley. so after that we met martin back at the tent. and probably had a nap too. then went to see the almighty 2manydjs. they really pulled out the hits. disgutingly crowd pleasing. but they were really good. although i am getting a bit fed up of hearing their album in every shop. from there we went to see the flaming lips who (even tho id already recognised the genius) were surprisingly amazing. it was such a fun gig. there were giant ballons everywhere (rover) and huge blow up suns dancing around. he had a camera on his microphone that was showing on this huge screen at the back. it was just brilliant. and kinda twisted in places too. like when he sang happy birthday for everyone whos birthday it was with blood dripping down his head (dont ask).. and when he sang that song with a scary nun puppet. they have some proper hip hop beats tho. some good songs right there. and then it was radiohead. and it was far too packed. it was tight. they were as good as you would expect. i hadnt seen them since ok computer and i was really excited to hear the more recent stuff live. i was disappointed. the new songs really worked well. and there were some killer techno drum and bass beats. especially the odd kid a song. national anthem was like the end of the world. flashing lights and colours and that bass line of doom. argh the beat. the beat. lucky was amazing too. and talk show host. and i was really glad that they did 'where i end and you begin' (hurray for all track sixs). everything in its right place. and idioteque but i cant remember it. although i would have been quite happy had they not played just and karma police. its not that i dont like them.. they just could have played better songs. oh and they did climbing all the walls. that was the shit right there. radiohead really will play at the end of the world. i think i was embarressing martin in the crowd that night. i was bored waiting for bands and feeling a bit mischevious. one guy got a bit worried when i said 'im bored.. i might have a wank'. he said hed rather i didnt. i told him not to worry cos id do it in the other direction. and some girl was complaining that her trousers kept slipping (she was right infront of me and wed been talking a bit about random crap) and i told her that was nothing cos mine were round my ankles. well i thought it was funny. i guess martin thought it was a bit too much. these women behind us (oh this was earlier) blatantly whispered something to each other about me so i started getting a bit paranoid. i decided it was about how wasted i was which annoyed me because although i may be acting drunk i hadnt drank anything. sobre all the way. so i was like 'what? what? youre making me paranoid now' (the paranoid thing probably didnt help mind). but they fobbed me off by telling me they liked my hair (what?!?). i was trying to be cool about it but i think definately came across a bit weird. but what are you supposed to say? i didnt want to come across as offended or angry or anything. ive explained that all totally wrong. but whatever. i had a good time. we then met ben up in the cinema for 'xxx' (yo shout out to my main man vin diesel you sexy mofu you) which we enjoyed far too much. it was brilliant. mad cheers when he jumped that fence on the bike. cries of 'oh no hes dead. he couldnt have survived' when he got buried in snow. and then 'yeah hes alive. its impossible' when he got out. if only you could get crowd participation at real cinemas. and everyone cheered at the end. the best bit was when he dived out of the plane on his snowboard. me and ben couldnt stop laughing. that was amazing. haha. im just so glad i never paid to see that film. its shamefully trying to be james bond. its pathetic. wed gone prepared so werent so cold. yeah. then to bed.

by name and by nature. got up and we all went for a proper breakfast in this cool little tent in the greenfield. ben martin jo parents and the other jo. it was well good. egg beans toast mushrooms onion tomatos and sausage. and tea. how amazing that tea was. it took ages for our breakfast so we played cards. one card passing. actually frans friends taught me a new came called asshole. and yeah its a little like shithead but not really at all. first band worth seeing on sunday was asian dub foundation. their new album kicks it some and they carried it off live too. it seems that they have cloned 'master d' (or whatever hes called nowadays.. spex? i dont know its hard to tell from their album). after the first instrumental he jumps out on stage twice and they being some of that hardcore rapping that weve all grown to love so much. but theres two of them. it was brilliant. they only did one song of the first album (and thats on their third anyway) but the new songs were fat (yes not with a 'ph'). especially la haine 2face and blowback. we drank more lemonade and then watched the sugababes. who were actually quality. they got the catchy pop songs but theyre other songs were even good too. and with all that soundsystem they were verging on the occasional dubness. the obligatory eating of tempura followed. then something like going up to the acoustic tent to see beth gibbons (was this the time we saw a guy completely wrapped in cling film doing a houdini act? not sure). gibbo. but she was late and it was too hot in the tent. i was falling asleep. so we went to see grandaddy. i got bored so went back to the tent and fell asleep. waking up for sigur ros. downed two glasses of wine and legged it to the other stage (which isnt far from our camp). some terrible act was playing but just as i was getting near they started playing 'never let me down'. i only know this song from the smashing pumpkins and ive got no idea who initially wrote it (hey maybe it was the dude who was playing) but it was one of those amazing festival moments. walking through the crowd. it was beautiful. pumpkins did it better. of course. but like martin pointed out you always seem to prefer the first version you hear (as if you wouldnt think bellys are you experienced isnt better than jimis). i got right to the front in the middle. how amazing were sigur ros? on a scale of nought to mogwai they were a definate mogw. all these beautiful noises (hey jo did i put any sigur ros on that cd i sent you? and if not why not?) and ..yeah.. the guy has an amazing voice. he played his guitar with a bow. and the last song they played had everything any damn good mogwai song has but it also had vocals. mindblowing. noise and strobes. i just cant get enough. i liked that he was playing standing barefoot on a rug too. they didnt play the hit (sven g englar.. but they did play something bizarrely similar) but it didnt matter too much. i would have died if they had. as they played it began to rain more and more but no one cared because it was just so fitting. and it stopped when they did. as corny as how de la soul made the rain go away. i managed to meet ben and we bought a bottle of wine which we drank insanely fast. boogied to the dance tent to see the streets. no mean feat. the streets are well popular. the gig in brighton sold out in no time and that hardly ever happens. we got a good place tho. it was running late so we saw the scratch perverts. who were pretty shit. they played a chorus or whatever of song after song and never really played anything. it was pointless. and i didnt even realise it was them. the sound was so not loud i thought it was between band music. the streets came on and it totally went off. except it didnt at all. the sound was just awful. the dance tent all weekend was totally lame. you could hear people talking and when people cheered you couldnt hear the beat. they really messed it up. michael eavis was saying how good it was that no one in the village had complained about the noise. but at what price?! i just couldnt enjoy the streets so i literally ran all the way across the festival (okay i briskly walked along the railway) to the lost stage to hear zion train say 'this is a last song'. but it was amazing. i hadnt danced like that for ages. it was even better than when we saw them at the concorde. hardcore big beat reggae dub action. there arent enough words like amazing awesome fantastic fabulous brilliant. i was begging for another song and they came out and did one. it was even better than the last. and then they played some more. it was heaven. i have far too much love for zion train. on record theyre pretty good but they really fuck up the shit live. i couldnt believe it. so they finished and the lights came up (metaphorically) i legged it to the comedy tent to meet peeps. some irish guy who im sure i recognised from tele was talking about various things. he was actually quite funny (but still threw in the now quite frustrating 'fuck the war' for easy cheers). how was i supposed to meet anyone in this huge packed tent? so i stood up and spotted jo. watched some spinning fire stick people. i cant remember how long that went on for it but it didnt seem long. then we spotted ben and went and sat by him. we have a bit of a festival tradition now of seeing muddy bop muddy play out the festival. hes always last on. i think ive seen him four times now. i dunno how this is gonna sound but he comes on and throws rice everywhere for his whole set shouting 'rice' all the time. plays with a little keyboard and says 'viacom' a lot. then gets out records and everyone has to shout 'nail it' or 'save it'. he tends to smash most of them straight away with the golden hammer. he plays a few and scratches them. throws rice at them. we all shout etc. its just so much fun. honest. then everyone shouts 'what the fuck was that'. haha. then 'the little cunt' comes out and tries to dance so he doesnt have to go to womad. and he tells everyone that hes not a toy. but this time the puppet fell onto the stage. it was all very weird. i now have a pot of rice in my room. haha. ben picked up some bread but decided it was a stupid idea to keep it. damn right. so we staggered back to the tent and decided to go out again. we sat on the beach for a bit making sand arses. and ben made a tor (how do you spell that anyway? tour? tore?). its a fake beach btw. with wave sounds coming from huge shells and a big paper wood whatever palm tree in the middle. we sat around on a bench trying to get people to tell us their story. i was thinking that all these people walking past and they must all have such interesting stories. then we sat in the groovy cinema tent and watched some fucked up short films. cartoons. whatever. the memory is a bit hazy. haha. once again we got to bed just before sunrise. ive never seen sunrise at glastonbury. the problem is you cant go to bed once the suns up because the tent gets too hot. although on saturday morning i was freezing my ass off. it was so cold i had to snuggle at the bottom of my sleeping bag. it got baking by nine tho. and then it was..

the last day. you wake up late and most of the tents have gone ..or been abandoned. theres rubbish everywhere and remains of dodgy fires. it took me ages to get my head together. my brain kept cracking. that crystaline shit i always go on about. and no it wasnt a hangover. haha. we had this well good breakfast in a bowl in this cafe place as they took down the huge climbing wall. was lovely. i have no idea what we really did all day. when we got back there were security people around our tents. the main guy admitted they were looking for bodies. when asked if theyd found any he said they werent allowed to say.. and anyway 'they hadnt even told the families yet'. he seemed like a clever guy. i think he was just joking with us like. one of them had crashed out on the grass so we moved him under our gazeebo thing so he didnt burn. he was totally out. wouldnt stop snoring tho. mum even took off his watch and put it back on without him waking up. i thought that only happened in films. they came back for him and woke him up saying 'come on its time for school' to which he mumbled 'ive already been'. it was well funny. so then people started leaving. me and ben helped carry some stuff to the car for my parents. i quite like doing that cos you see some crazy shit in the fields that people have left. this one camp had managed to acquire a sofa. a full proper sofa. stunned. then we left at about half three. the queue for the bus was insane. going round at least three corners. we got our first train no problem. although not really knowing where we were going. got off at westbury. had an interesting conversation with some girl about baby wipes where i made an ass of my self as usual (although i think it was on purpose. mind its easy to say that). no one could really tell us the best root from here on. our train kept getting delayed tho. there were constant announcements about delays. so we played four in a row and hangman. some good hangman bands are the who air joy division aaliyah and audioweb. as long as youre playing the no vowels rule. we got off the train at fairborne i think. these guys had a huge cardboard box of bahji. i so wanted some but didnt wanna be rude and ask. we waited another hour for our train (that stopped at every stop) and got back to brighton at half eleven. just in time for a grubbs and horrible walk home. took us over nine hours to get back. and there was no welcome party. haha. there it is. the longest news entry ever.

so in conclusion. it was really good. better than last year. but obviously not better than 1999. there were too many absent friends. and the summer of 1999 was something special. so i doubt anything is going to be able to beat it. we can have a fucking good time trying tho. next year everyone is coming. especially corey. dude.

25.6.2003: not too much to say. but three things freaked me out today. i just found a tin foil fish in the top pocket of my shirt. umm? ive got no idea where its from or how it got there. im presuming i must have put it there but ive got no idea why or when. oh well. theres a fun little mystery for you. or me rather.

i watched bits of a live rage against the machine gig on mtv2. and at the end of know your enemy the whole crowd were chanting 'all of which..' etc. just seemed a bit ironic is all.

and secondly. i have always had a deep rooted hate for mccain (so dont even click that link. there website has some terrible bugs too but thats another story) and especially their microwave oven chips. a box with next to no chips in that are just soggy and revolting. but hey.. at least you get quick chips right? anyway. i saw an poster advertising the new microwave toastie. (pause in stunned disbelief) what? people cant even put two slices of bread cheese and ham in a toastie machine? and theyre apparently willing to pay one fifty or whatever for it. the world has ended. i also hate the way they tell you to "always preheat your oven". assholes.

24.6.2003: one day left before glastonbury. ive even got pop tarts this year (so no worries there martin). i think its gonna be a weird one. but hell yeah. me and ben are leaving tomorrow morning at quater past eight. i estimate the whole journey will take over five hours. thats five hours without a walkman. arrow words time.

so i was talking to aimee about my use of 'to' and 'too'. now i dont know who is right here.. but ive had conflicting advice about using it like 'also'. ive been using it like that too much. and worrying about it to. and worrying about it too? thats what aimee says. and it does seem more right. um?

went to see 'igby goes down' yesterday. i really liked it. that dude is definately better than his brother ..who ive hated ever since this girl i had a crush on fancied him. then one day i realised that he is actually really ugly. can anyone say heroine? or was that just a look for the sunday video? and he used to hang around michael jackson. and his films were really bad. especially home alone 2. anyway. it was still weird with the whole sibling thing going on. well enjoyed the film. had a nice soundtrack too (see?).

solely for spooners benefit. we had a well good game of charades the other night. wizard of loz. pocahontis. oh sorry matt i just cant remember what they all were. and we tried to introduce the 'im gonna have a party and im gonna bring..' game. but i dont think it went down too well.

and just to reward anyone who has bothered to read this far. me and aimee (okay it was mostly me) decided to play dressing up in other peoples clothes. me in aimees. aimee in bens. bens in.. well you all know what a bore ben can be. haha. anyway. we took photos. go.

and who said we didnt know how to have fun..

23.6.2003: btw. i know it looks like most of the photos ive got on this site are the same photos that were on its previous incarnation ..but ive actually redone nearly all of them. theyre all bigger and sharper and generally better looking. well at least on my screen. haha.

23.6.2003: updates! sort of. i added photos of wales to the my holiday photos. ive also added various links scattered through the site that link to news entries in the archive. yknow the links i mean. little ones in square brackets. actually i was a bit lazy and made them all point to the archive. so one of them wont work until my next archive. whatever. i know i should database it. but hey. i have better things to do.

woah that is the biggest earwig i ever did see.

anyway. party in the park was obviously rubbish. horrible. terrible. all of them. it started to make me feel really angry. i was quite happy when we left. got to see girls aloud tho. and busted. blazing squad and mel c. so yknow.. um. wasnt totally wasted. preston park is one of my favourite parks as well. i dont see why they had to ruin it for a day (plus however long it takes them to clean it all up). it was just full of assholes and shit heads. oh well. such is the country i live in. best thing i heard was "woah theres a fucking fight. im going over there" ..all the kevs dash off. sigh.

i made my best stir-fry yet when i got back tho. i braised my own tofu this time and it was brilliant. all my veg from asda so it was cheaper too. although im not sure about the asparagus i put in. well what else was i gonna do with it? came with the baby corn.

22.6.2003: yesterday was pretty fun. after writing the previous news entry i walked into town (while tom lux and hoang got the bus. lazy buggers). popbot4 was out ..which everyone managed to diss. no it not just drawings of naked women. ashley wood is just happens to be really good at drawing them. and now after everyone has flipped through it with their 'i dont really care for other peoples books' fingers its got a big indent where people have put too much pressure on the pages turning them. what is wrong with people? i kept telling people if they dont turn the pages properly (oh god how anal do i sound? except my book is creased now) then i wont let them read it. people just ignore you cos they think youre just talking shit. but no. i take care of my stuff. and i thought id make an effort to be less of a shit. but now look. big fucking crease. once again im gonna say thats the last time i let people look at my stuff. you see tho? when im not a bastard about it my property gets messed up. and i saw the new harry potter book. its well big. met the dudes for lunch at bombay aloo. i well liked it. i paced myself pretty well and it was brilliant. we sat around in the pavillion gardens. met aimee and matt. played a bit of frisbee. went for coffee. got matts van home. hoang mooned someone out the back and sang songs about tshirt man. then we got some beers/wine and went down to preston park for a few hours. we definately havnt done that enough this year. playing frisbee in half-light is really hard. i cant believe i forgot my blue light to charge the frisbee up (it glows like). and they had all the stages and fair ground rides set up for party in the park tomorrow.

when we got back we just hung out downstairs. listened to the audio bullies album three times cos no one would go and get a cd. we did the cracker challenge. i definately won. linda finished first but the girls only had two and a third crackers. that surely doesnt count. nick thought you just had to get them all in your mouth. so he ended up coming last. haha. we also did that thing where you pat a lump of marmite on a plate for ages and it goes white. beige. whatever. oh the hilarity.

whereas before i had never been frightened by thunder and lightning (apart from the first time i was about to experience it. needless to say the picture in my head of what it would look like was far more scary than what i actually saw.. a grey sky and a lot rain) i think i can now say that i have. the storm pressure has been building up over the last week and im surprised it held back so long. like you could feel the static in the air. i think last night might have been the most violent thunder and lightning ive ever witnessed. the rain was really beating it down for ages. i had to half shut my window because my curtains were getting wet (if i shut my window completely it doesnt want to open again). then at about five i got woken by the most awesome crash of thunder there has ever been. it scared the fuck out of me. i still cant believe how loud it was. and they came pretty steadily every minute or so for about half an hour. the thunder always coming less than a second after the lightning. it was hitting up on the golf course. so i didnt sleep too well was just too loud. i was sitting staring out of my window and you could see people in all the houses moving about.

just to warn you im about to start talking about vibrators and gundam wing. haha. so after a conversation with hoang about the existence of hello kitty vibrators (as if).. i just had to prove him wrong. unfortunately not. my horror at discovering gundam wing condoms. complete with a picture of a mobile suit with penis for a head on the packet. and ditto for c3po and r2d2. although i was less freaked by the rabbit rotor than i think i should have been. its got fucking spikey ears for fuck sake. sheesh. enough now.

21.6.2003: ack. no days have past but yet i feel that ive got so much to mention im going to forget it all. and none of it is probably important. anyway. i had a really good meeting with my project supervisor on thursday. that made me feel a lot better. its all good. its nice going into uni anyway. the house that was on fire down the road is looking really amazing now. theyve built this huge corrugated iron roof construction thing over it. anyway. blah. wait. ill start again..

so. i dont really believe in gambling. its a bit like insurance in its nature. if it was worth it it wouldnt exist. unless you well know what youre doing. and i dont like horse racing. although sian has greatly depleted my hate for it. now its only really the grand national that i despise. and i guess its also a lot to do with the whole horse racing stigma. like polo. anyway. on thursday we went to the dog racing. it was well fun anyway. tom got lucky with a two pound bet that was 4/1. i didnt manage to win anything. frown. hoang didnt either but he only placed one bet. well poop. there were some well drunk people there. anyway. then we went to the pav tav to meet nicola and boogie. as i we walked in the bitch from the gloucester who kept pushing me over was walking out. for a minute there i thought they were gonna be going upstairs but lucky enough they just left. had some good conversations with aimee and nicola. that i wont go into. then danced a bit but it was just far too hot. im really trying to sort out the sweaty forehead thing. and dancing all night is not the way to do it. it didnt seem like we were there for very long but i guess i was just being drunk. whatever.

i shopped in asda yesterday for the first time. it was actually really good. that and it was fun going on a proper excursion in the car. lazy beats a-blaring. i was way impressed tho. not because it was really cheap (i actually spent more money that normal) but just because they have so much more choice than sainsburies. they actually do the all day vege breakfasts tins. where sainsburies do the whole range apart from the vege one. i even bought asparagus. haha. and then we went down the beach. it was lovely. i took some photos to prove it:

i really like that last photo. i spent hours this morning removing all the lens flare. sigh. people were getting bored and wouldnt wait for me to sort it out. but whatever. i rescued the best piece of seaweed ever. it was gorgeous. i was gonna bring it home but gave it back to the sea. it was good for whipping people with anyway. yeah. i even fell asleep while lying on the beach. the spray from the sea was so nice. we nearly played crazy golf but no one could really be bothered.

then we watched big brother. i hate to talk about this. i really do. but whatever. i cant believe cameron didnt come out. that guy is a total asshole. there arnt enough rude words for him. he is a total shit. and even worse than being a bastard. he doesnt even do anything. hes so passive that it isnt even good that hes there. i hate him with such a passion. hoang was telling me about this american program called (something like) love or money. its like the batchelor where one guy has to pick a woman out of a big group. but what he doesnt know is that the woman who he picks actually wins a million pounds. haha. where is the world heading? then we watched brazil. about seven of us. there were only three people left by the end. i guess people didnt really like it. i think its brilliant. but yknow. everyone to themselves. but ive been trying to decide why that is. i saw it when i was quite young and was horrified by it. watching it back now the scenes are quite so nasty. maybe its because the comedy surrounding them is more obvious. or im just nulled to it. i dont know. i definately didnt notice as much when i was younger. like when the terrorist bomb goes off in the apartment store most of the bodies are actually manequins. the comic overtones take a certain shocking quality from the scenes i guess. or something. its hard to explain. you definately benefit from several viewings. although i bet no one wants to watch it again. i guess it comes down to what you think makes a good film. im not sure.. but i think a lot of the reasons people dont like it are actually things that are done on purpose. whatever.

oh shit i just realised. harry potter is out today. i just finished reading 'difference engine' by william gibson and bruce sterling. to be honest i dont think it was that good. yeah its clever and whatever. but i dont really feel like anything happened. and i didnt care that much either way. so now im reading varjak paw. i cant imagine it taking me that long. but it is a lot of fun.

do americans have cordial? i guess this is a question for jo that ill forget if i dont mention it here. hoang was commenting on how sweet our orange squash was. haha. it was just kinda funny.

i read a lot of my old news entries yesterday. my memories of last year were a bit hazy and mixed up. i couldnt remember exactly what i was doing through my graduation and stuff. and couldnt remember various bits about glastonbury (that i kinda do want to go in. but also kinda dont). it was really interesting tho. im glad i have this page anyway. i mean. i could write this without making it public but i dont think that i would keep it up. and it also forces me to at least try and make it coherent. old diaries dont make any sense because when you wrote them you could remember stuff you cant now. or something. anyway. i was reading it for ages and i think i relearnt quite a lot. but yeah. time to get on with my day.

19.6.2003: yknow. everything should have basil in it.

18.6.2003: i never expected it would so much fun following the ongoing story of neil gaiman and dave mckean making the pseudo-sequel to labyrinth on neils
journal page. the internet is just too amazing. my favourite bit so far was when he was talking about some couple kissing in one of the scenes and asking various questions about it. someone actually found that girls livejournal with an entry talking about it. the mind boggles. that and they were filming in brighton and had shots of the pier in it. so what is his link to brighton anyway? who knows. but its weird to think the almostly completely destroyed pier is gonna be in the film. oh its called 'mirror mask'. and its not really labyrinth 2 or anything. i think thats just how it got started. blah blah blah.

someone please tell me that this is true. how do such things actually happen? like the puchi puchi wanko crazyness corey found. but coke using swastikas? and by the way. on the original they dont look like swastikas to me but sheesh. whatever next? and dont click on this link unless you find photos of large animals (oh how to put this) halfway through the front windscreen of cars funny / not totally sick. its really not nice. but.. how the hell does such a thing happen? its a pretty amazing photograph. in one way i wish i hadnt seen it tho. because then i wouldnt have had to put a link here and have half the people who read this think im sick.

18.6.2003: how is it the eighteenth? everyday i wake up and gawp at the date. sheesh. anyway. i just did a few typing tests and rather diappointingly averaged about 74 w/m. i didnt get many errors though as i tended to go back and change them. force of habit. all the errors i did do were down to punctuation anyway. and the occasionaly omission of a capital letter (man i dont even see those anymore). its a bit mean to get a word wrong because you did a space instead of a semi-colon or missed out an apostrophe in 'dont'. duh. this is no apostrophe in dont. or cant. or shant. haha. but my 'bad loser' attitude doesnt really make it any better. i guess in the real world you do have to use caps and proper punctuation. not my fault the worlds dumb is it? but there you go. im still the fastest typer i know. i suppose the people who are well good spend their life at work and on the internet. and i can have a bit of self respect because ive never used a program that teaches you type. or even learnt to type properly. ive just evolved my typing style of the years. i guess its as near to touch typing as you can get without actually learning how. or something. maybe one day ill give in and learn. but then everything i just said is wasted. oh whatever.

my fingers still smell of garlic from the meal i made yesterday. another three dayer i think. i just mixed together loads of different pulses. with a big emphasis on chick peas. cos they smell so damn good. boiled it all down in tomatos and all kinds of herbs and flavours. i didnt put in that much garlic but its uber garlicy. but it was nice with spaghetti.

we went to the event! yay. it was actually really good. well good infact. student night so it was free to get in with no worries about wearing the clothes that need washing the most. haha. or trainers. and all drinks were a pound. sheesh. ben and toms old house mates came down cause it was simons birthday. plus celebrating ben and toms result. and hoang wanted to see what english 'sluts' are like. gee whiz. what a party. i invited the girls but they never got back else it would have nearly been a full house. the music was awesome in true event stylee. but now im feeling a little deaf. i hate dancing surrounded by people without an room. and the only space available actually on the floor is by the huge speakers. so maybe ill take ear plugs next time. when was the last night i didnt get drunk? thursday? thats terrible laurence. saturday was an easy night tho. i think. but anyway. i had a really fast come down (and no im not talking about drugs) which was weird. i got back before everyone else. maybe it was some song that was playing or something. who knows. anyway. after sitting in the lounge being completely invisible i thought it best to go to bed. id quite like to explain it all but it doesnt fit in with my new website ethic. no more angsty introspective self obsessive babble.

oh. and ignore the next post. its me being a little bitch. i was going to make a real effort to not do such news entries now ..and end to whiny moaning sweary agro bullshit. whatever.

17.6.2003: i just dont get it. why cant people just use my toastie maker properly? i keep telling people what not to do and they still keep doing it wrong. i wouldnt mind but its mine and its starting to get a bit dodgy now. its more irritating than people pre-heating ovens. i know im on my own with that one.. but think about it. its a disgusting waste of energy and is actually a complete waste of time. your food will be ready the sooner you put it in the oven. all youve got to do is increase the time it tells you on the box. this really frustrates me. i think its a real asshole thing to do. but anyway i digress. back to toasties. you open it up. you put your bread in. you put whatever you want on the bread. you put the other slice on top. you shut it. you switch it on. the light goes out and oh my god its ready. i dont give two shits what it says anywhere (be it instruction manuals or the internet). if you switch it on and only put your stuff in when the light goes out its really hot. and then you dont know how long to leave it in for. why do people love to waste electricity so badly. and not even give a shit. it makes me so angry. and that pisses me off even more. anyway. on a light note congratulations to ben and tom who got their degree results today. welcome to the short lived but much fun world of the graduand. as soon as youre a graduate its all downhill. haha. but alas. whatever.

17.6.2003: yesterday was fun. i was supposed to have a meeting with my supervisor but he wasnt in and hadnt sent me an email. so i went onto campus for nothing. i did get a good book from the library tho. and he had forwarded me a well good paper thats somewhat kick started my enthusiasm. sort of. so the rest of the day was spent hanging out in town. met aimee lux and their friend hoang who they knew from last year (they lived in davis in calafornia right?). hes come over for a few weeks anyway. which is pretty cool. we ate at food for friends and wandered around aimlessly for a bit. then went to hang on the beach but it was ferociously hot so we had to retreat into the fortune of war. the pub is way too expensive but i do like it anyway. then other friends turned up in dribs and drabs. ben. nick james and darren. tom. nicola. etc. it was way good. eventually found a cheap off licence and sat on the beach until about ten. it was fun. we were sitting next this huge group of people doing crazy fire hippy crusty stuff. and we got slowly more and more drunk as the sun went down.

mandarin milkshake.

so last night i had a single vege cheese with extra cheese grubbs. and it was probably the best burger ive had from there. even after the tropical (banana pineapple and peanut butter) malasian (peanut butter lettuce and chilli sauce) and mushroom.. its weird how you go for interesting ones all the time and then realise that the simple one is actually the best. perhaps.

i never mentioned this. i lost my bus pass when working the other week. anyway. this dude on the bus gave me his. how cool is that? obviously id had to buy a ticket when getting on so i was asking the woman if it would be possible to get a refund. i guess it wasnt. but i kinda knew that. anyway. then this woman at the bus shelter wanted to give me hers to. i love this place. the people are so helpful. haha.

you wouldnt believe how fucked up my website looks in old versions of netscape. id love to see it in some of the lesser used browsers. yknow. the ones that are supposed to be really good. whatever. my biggest fear is that i use an lcd screen thing (right?) which makes everything look a little brighter in comparison to what appears to be the average monitor settings. often something that looks shit hot on my computer looks total arse on other peoples computers. either being far too dark or having off white mess everywhere that i just couldnt see when creating it. the moral is that having a laptop is a no go for graphics. well im barely professional anyways. so nothing to fear there. im still cant get over how bad my html looks in netscape. it was version 5 or something. actually im making that up i have no idea. but still. i think the majority of my html is pretty standard and reasonably stable. the 'navigation' bar above messes up horribly if you change the font size. but hey.. thats up to you. all other positioning uses well reasonable code. apart from that ive used frames instead of divs. apparently. ill learn that another day. oh. and the background is out of line on the left side in seven out of eight cases. haha. i could alter it so the site is based on the left instead of right side but i really like it like this. i could always make it change the browser size on loading but that is dirty and i hate that. although rounding the size up to the nearest eight wouldnt hurt would it? i dunno if you can do that but i presume it cant be that hard if you can. anyway. technical rant over.

15.6.2003: just for fun. here are some songs that you should listen to in the given order with a little bit of professional mixing:

sigor ros - smáskífa
silver mt.zion - movie never made
mogwai - ratts of the capital
radiohead - where i end and you begin
glassjaw - mustve run all day
pwei - menofearthereaper
dandy warhols - godless (massive attack remix)

decorative jelly bean to the first person to correctly submit the running theme in the above songs. and its nothing to do with them mostly being track 6. that theme was far too hard. and ignore the last song. its there because ive been meaning to say how amazing it is for ages.

so have you noticed ive actually filled in all the links on the contents bar above? navigation. thats the name of the game. okay i havnt filled all the pages in. but still. thats what the word progress was invented for. also to describe the state my project is supposed to be in. but less said about that the better. im starting to like my new website. im very happy that i decided to do a new one now. so thanks to corey for telling me he was fed up with looking at the old colour. and the various people who had websites that were much nicer than mine for whatever reason. especially the more grown up looking ones.

and then you think like.. oh fuck. glastonbury is a week on wednesday. one week. thats where my effort to swear less and use proper grammar goes out the window. ten days. fuck. then i dont get back until its july. july. and then i have to move out of my house before september and finish my project (that to be honest i havnt physically started). so before that i need to plan the rest of my life. so thats two months. in which i need to work. neutral networks. real values. genotypes. how come none of this seems at all relevant to anything? its barely important. in fact its not. its not worth diddly squat (ysee i didnt say shit). i just dont seem to care about it at all. hmmm. remedy?

i keep having dreams about a certain girl (no not that one). and i dont know what to think about it. so someone should tell me before its too late. its probably too late before i go to glastonbury. so you better email me quickly. whoever you may be.

14.6.2003: well im very glad i went to the girls house party. it was much fun. i really enjoyed it. there wasnt as many people there as the last one but it didnt seem to matter. that and i was probably far too drunk. drinking my usual 'some evil concoction' plus punch. and martini? oh i dont know. but anyway. the girls have a real good knack at doing their house up good. i especially liked the bathroom. it looked like a smurf had died in the bath. i had a lot of well good conversations tho. and people are just really interesting. the stuff that people do. and interactions. its too fascinating. but i decided im one of those guys who are too nice. just watching and listening to other dudes really makes me cringe sometimes (and if you were at the party its best not to presume im talking about any event in particular because thats not it). its a shame its the end of the year tho. i do feel like im only just getting started. i dont mean that to sound as over sentimental as it does. but still. theres times left yet. i swear. but getting back to me. i still havnt learnt how to take advantage of drunk girls at parties. haha. im just too nice. pish. no but really. whatever. i feel a bit weird now. mostly lack of sleep. but theres some weird thoughts knocking about in the back of my head (where ever the fuck that is) and im not sure what to think of them. right now i just need to sit on the beach or in the park and stare at the sea or sky. theres nothing better than getting absorbed into the clouds. that was a terrible sentence. met some girl last night who talked like me. although thats probably a bad way to put. nevermind. its all good. haha. she had a good name too but i dont want to guess and mess up the spelling. eek. i also gave emma my web address. why do i always do that? so hey emma ..if youre reading this. you dont really want to read this btw its pretty dull (no shit). but anyway. i remember carrying that pencil around for ages. and eating crumpets in their garden. was that sally? she did me a well nice bread roll before i left. the sun was rising at the end of their road. it was pretty beautiful. so i got home at about six and did really sleep. i just find it difficult when its light outside. plus the alcohol business. i think its the drunkest ive been without throwing up. which i probably should have done because i would have felt better. but nah. it was okay. its quater to two now. ive just been chilling since about half ten. why i got up then i dont know. but i had some weird dreams and now its a bit confusing what was dreamt and what was party. thats a terrible feeling. haha. but my skin feels really smooth today now. sorry. this post (argh im calling it a post. shit) is really framented. ill start talking about arriving at the party in a minute. haha. i went as the jungle book in the end. as in this photo. i know its a bit rubbish but i wasnt gonna do anything and i saw them on the way out. aha. better than most people at least. maybe. anyway. is that the best account of the party i can do? yeah probably. shout out to the girls for being well decent. haha.

and not that anyone cares or whatever but my final cd came from amazon. which is dumb because it was just one cd. it blatantly could have fit in the other box that came yesterday. sheesh.

and how about this? beautiful days festival. theres at least loads of good people on the bill. anyone interested?

13.6.2003: ive spent the last three days canvasing. its actually been really good. posting flyers through every house on every road in every estate. it sounds kinda dirty i know.. but its for homeless students. okay its actually for recruting host families for foriegn students. but whatever. its got me out of the house all day. got my exercised. and got me paid. its been pretty sweet dividing our house up into teams and taking streets each. im now nicely browned. with vaguely redened calves (well you cant remember to sun screen everywhere yknow). but its been really interesting actually. especially doing streets near our house. you think you notice things walking down them but theres so much i missed before actually going up to each front door. and each house has its own smell. you can tell what kind of people live in a house from the smell you get when you open the letter box. like a signature smell. its also fun seeing peoples personal space through a two by seven gap. and i can now tell the difference between all the different types of letterbox just by looking at them. my least favourite are the stiff ones with bristles. worst are the ones with dogs behind them. its surprisingly terrifing when a dog comes out of fucking nowhere and snatches the letter from the otherside of the door. the continues to headbutt the door and tear the flyer to pieces. i had a few of those. so what have i learnt from this experience? i really do hate dogs. and i also hate people who own dogs for wanting to own such (id say vile but its a bit too something) horrible animals. alas every one to themselves. its just a bit stupid when people have to put out signs saying please leave post under the matt because the dog eats it. you want catch a cat doing that. postmen tho. i couldnt really believe how long it takes. having to walk up to each door and back. but then it has been a pretty good job. would be a nightmare without a walkman tho.

but enough of that. to celebrate passing my exams (in time not grades) ive had a gigantic order from amazon building up over the last two months. it eventually arrived with all but one of the things i ordered (a french hip hop cd that is unavailable). i love getting huge packages its so exciting. so much stuff. most importantly i got donnie darko on dvd. which probably is the best film ever. or real damn close. anyone who hasnt seen it (especially you jo) had better watch it immediately. i also got the brazil screenplay and a book called varjak paw. about a ninja cat (or something) by sf said illustrated by dave mckean. also a whole load of cds including the new dandy warhols (love) album, deltron3030 (about time to), the new deftones album and a french hip hop compilation. they were all ultra cheap to. making the wait quite worth it. so along with the new radiohead (love track six dont know why) and mogwai albums ive got a rediculous amount of new cds to listen to. sigh. better start doing my project then.. um. yeah.

its the girls house party tonight. beccas birthday plus finishing exams. the problem is no one from my house will go with me and its also a themed party (oh dont ask). now im probably gonna go but i am tempted to miss it. not because they didnt come to ours (which was better whatever even tho i havnt been yet) but because i dunno if i want to go on my own. the first moment im hanging around on my own im leaving. and if its early enough im going straight to actionagogo. well we will see.

10.6.2003: tuesday morning again. waiting for shower again. had a good day yesterday. walked into town with aimee and spent money. id like to say that the new radiohead and mogwai albums are well good. better than id hoped even (glastonbury is going to be amazing. got my ticket yesterday). quality purchases. i also got a sigur ros mini cd single that is nothing but sexy. the cd is all black like old playstation games. me and aimee decided to brave the big second hand record shop at the end of the north lanes. needless to say i was slightly overwhelmed. not only do they have a back room they also have a basement of 7"s. and get this.. they have them all in rows on top of drawers and below shelves. all of which are also rammed full of records. they have more records than there are stones on the beach. i passed on a few records i really wanted because i couldnt justify spending that much money. a japanese release of dreaming. ghost town. a death in vegas rekkit remix 12". i eventually settled on purchasing a chicks on speed 12" just before they guy had had enough and chucked us out so he could have dinner. miserable git. i also bought a pair of shorts that are okay. it wasnt so hard. and some really nice card to make a certain someone a birthday card.

the smell of frying bacon makes me feel physically sick. this is happening with increasing frequency. bleugh.

ben got back to brighton yesterday. we went the park with tom. this was oodles of fun. except it possibly wasnt. im not sure. spinning some frisbee was pretty fun. and the sky was amazing. just huge. but after being persuaded to make a bit of effort and play football i got the football booted right in my face. i havnt dared look in the mirror since but i think my face is externally okay. not even a bleeding nose or a black eye. although i cant fully open or close my jaw. im hoping this will pass. then these two pre-teen shits convinced ben and tom to play them at football. cheeky little fuckers they were. i just sat around watching the big groups of people having their barbecues. i think ben and tom won. but the amount of bullying they took makes it hard to see it as a victory ..being called constant nasty names such as dumbo and pillock and beat on by little oliver. and then after the match when ben and tom were exhausted they decided to pick on them some more by throwing grass in bens mouth and stealing our frisbee. and then when me and ben walked back up the hill they were infront of us all the way with a huge cardboard tube they kept threatening to attack us with. well ben anyway. i dont think they dared mess with laurence. they must have heard of his reputation. then one of them threw a kfc icecream tub at ben. they got all chicken after that. anyway. after all the park shenanigans it turns out i wasnt the only person to suffer injury. an unnamed person managed to get really bad blisters and what can only described as skin flapping off their toes. ive got a photo of this if youre as sick as me (for actually taking it and uploading it), but you really dont want to look.

anyway. heres another park story for you that has a much nicer end. when we went down the park the other day i noticed what looked like a dead mouse all dirtied up and ground into the path leading in and out of the park. just some kids little beenie animal. but it was still there yesterday (and actually looking less dirty) and i felt really sorry for him so i bought him home and gave him a damn good scrubbing. turns out he's actually an elephant and has magnets inserted in his belly hands and feet. there's also a few holes in him and one of his hands is coming a bit loose. ill sew these up later once the little dude is dry. anyway. hurray for elephant-mouse!

i have vague memories of the natural history museum from when i was younger. i guess most notably the huge dinosaur skeletons. i think its definately about time for a trip to refresh my memory. this has been inspired by something akin to an art exhibition that theyre having from june 20th called cleanrooms. i think it actually looks pretty exciting.. especially gina czarneckis 'silvers alter' that sounds awesome. i dont know how familiar people are with my evolutionary art project i did last year.. but this is essentially the same kind of thing but using human dna profiles and huge video screens of naked people. i found a photo of it in a magazine and it looks amazing. although i totally failed to find any on the internet. sorry. some of the other installations seem kinda interesting too. although im not too sure about the 'bunny suits'. eek. dont tell cliff. and if you manage to go on the 1st or 2nd august then you get to see the new t.rex exhibition too. haha.

on a bit of a random note i found the roundest stone/pebble ive ever seen on the beach the other day. its so round. it looks like a dirty malteser. ive got photos but enough of the random photos of random things. and ive used the word random four times in this paragraph already. and im starting to worry im over using italics. nevermind. and while im talking about news page contents. i know im writing far too much nowadays but ive begun splitting it up into paragraphs. makes for a much more enjoyable reading experience non? i hope this somehow fixes the balance.

8.6.2003: its beginning to take form. i liked the old random barcode script too much to not still use it. hence the stupid barcode above. ive also done far too many pictures that slot in the side there on the left. i might cull some of them later but i do like quite a lot of them. especially the ones that are white at the top. like the photo of london. im quite happy how most of it is my own material as well. all of the straight photos are mine. the only direct rip off is the graffiti. theres bits of others peoples stuff in the compositions. but thats all referenced. its not much. now all ive got to do is the links above. i guess ill be slowly rebuilding my old site. i think im going to leave all that as it is. i need most of the files anyway. boston.

so we pretty much all went out last night. it was ali's (one of tom's housemates) finishing uni celebration. half us went to the 'ha ha' bar and the other half went to the ali cat. i thought itd be polite to stick with ali and for the second time (too many) braved the 'ha ha' bar. i hate that place. it is so cramped. but it was nice anyway. talked to her friends about amsterdam and prague. this guy had been there the same new years we had. and this girl was sure she knew me from somewhere. thats always fun. so i humoured her for a bit. that sentence seems so wrong. anyway. then we moseyed over to the ali cat for stupid amounts of pitchers in a stupidly short length of time. i like that place tho. theres definately something i like about underground bars. maybe it just reminds me of prague. who knows.

didnt manage to see fingathing the other night mind. i spent everyday last week trying to convince people to do something other than sit around the tv all evening. failed miserably. ive missed fingathing five times now. maybe next time? the excuse was everyone had to get up early on saturday and the peeps that had just arrived from sweden were too tired. thats fair enough. the excuse on thursday was we were gonna go out on friday. wednesday just was pure apathy. tuesday we watched the video of the party. etc.

so i actually bought the audio bullys album. its well good. they got the beats alright. after i bought that we wondered down to the beach for a bit. it was fun watching the fog descend on the beach. first the end of the east pier disappeared. then the whole west pier was gone. and then both piers had completely vanished. a while later you could barely see the cinema anymore. and it was a lovely warm day. there's been some glorious days recently. you gotta love summer.

super puzzle fighter has taken hold ..and its only been four months since i introduced it into the house. at which point everyone kept telling me it was rubbish and no where near as good as bust-a-move. idiots. but now people are getting pretty good at it. brilliant. its a shame that people automatically dismiss something if they dont really understand it at first. and lets be honest super puzzle fighter isnt that complicated. its painfully simple with ultra complex consequences. it just seems a bit weird and its solid when you first start playing. well lets go get down and dirty with devilot. tournament!

6.6.2003: argh this is a nightmare. why did i ever decide to redo my website? yknow i might just take the whole damn thing down. but then all the linked stuff from the pages i still want to use will be gone. is this worth it? please someone tell me it is.

so what do you think of the new new look. if you dont like the picture to the left then dont worry. theres about eleven different ones that come up at random. i think its nice for it to be different all the time. keeps me interested anyway. yumm. variation.

and im quite aware the "links" above dont work. this is a work in progress cut me some slack. i dont even know what im gonna have on this site anyway. ill hopefully not have all the old teenage rubbish that i had on the old one. but ill no doubt start feeling sentimental and feel the need to stick up all my old doodles. sigh.

this also means that loads of links below will probably not work either. patience. its all i need.

5.6.2003: Hello, My name is Laurence. How are you doing? Does this look weird to you? I think this might just be an attempt at a more 'mature' look. You may or may not know that I'm currently fiddling around with a new website design (well you do now obviously) and it's time to ask myself "Is it time to grow up and stop being afraid of the ever evil uppercase and grammar?". I'll decide later, but in the meantime how can it hurt to dabble a little? Experimentation is an absolute must. So weirdness of my typing aside, what is new? Can I just say.. fuck the grammar. One thing at a time ey? I hate grammar.. commas especially. I bet by the end of this entry i wont even be using capitals. I just missed one already. This is hopeless. Anyway. My puzzle for the day.. After watching Big Brother for a few minutes this morning I began to wonder. What would the camera man behind the mirror see if a contestant held up a mirror to the mirror? I am baffled beyond belief. This kind of insanity just will not fix itself in my brain. Someone please tell me what you think. I'd love to know. Evil apostrophe. So I witness a house fire today. Or rather the end of a house fire. I was walking down Ditchling Road on the way to the train station and the whole road from Jolly Brewer to Co-Op was closed. There were four (or maybe five actually) fire engines and loads of sweaty men running around. It was pretty exciting. Its weird because it was the house i noticed the other day because the front balcony door was wide open and i was thinking how easy it would be to get inside. Should I not give away such dodgy workings of my mind? Anyway, the wholw ceiling has been shredded. The front bedroom window was open and you could see water dripping down into the room. The family were all congregated outside when I was walking back (like three hours later) looking less upset than I would have thought. Well there you go. Laurence using capitals. If the world ends tonight then it will all be my fault. Sorry guys.

were not wasting paper [or grammar]
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