news [archive 38]


05.11.2008: at 5pm the copenhagen shopping streets actually look like a scene from bladerunner. the darkened sodium fuzzed sky (something about a detuned television), the streets all slick under the rain and reflecting so many flourescent and neon lights. lights in all colours. all the tourists in all their strange clothes pushing through each other. the odd greenlander adding more to the image than even harrison ford could. my wheels slip over the cobblestones and i'm gritting my teeth just waiting for them to come out from underneath me.

on the election, i joined the party at studenterhuset. problem being we're nine hours ahead of the west coast, so the party had to go on extremely long, apparently they weren't closing until it was all over (something about the fat lady singing). apparently they'd forgotten eight years ago. i couldn't wait it out, we left sometime before four, happy that ohio had fallen. the conversations were rubbish anyway. everyone wanted to talk about the election but no one had anything much to say. i'm not going to pretend i fully understand the electoral college.

and the result? i like it because it means a lot of people i hate are unhappy. there'll be fighting in alabama and prussian blue will cry themselves to sleep. maybe if we're lucky they'll commit suicide too. but really i have no idea. if all the hype is true and obama is such a nice guy, then this morning the world is one nice guy worse off. all presidents are bastards. all governments are murderers. so nevermind.

now back to fisk for my fifth shift since i came back from france. i hope they love me.




04.11.2008: "'there is neither work nor monotony' but only 'a perpetual present made up of one continually changing apocalpse', where 'there the divine source of all existence' is evident in a vase of flowers, and even the creases in a pair of trousers reveal 'a labyrinth of endlessly significant complexity'." could there ever be a sentence that makes you want to read a book more?

no. but just incase, if there is you better send it me.

btw, i need to say that noa noa is a shit place to work. that's just incase i ever get the urge (cos y'know, they employ guys) to work there. they'll never employ me now. a store manager was recently (or is about to be) fired from there for agreeing with someone on facebook that noa noa is shit. is that even legal? i don't know.

also, johanna posted about a fun little tool on her blog, and i was going to comment but she has some weird thing set up where i have to log in and it was all too complicated so i thought i'd write (a really long sentence on my blog, even though i didn't really want to) about it here instead. it's a gender analyzer for webpages, cleverly called genderanalyzer. you'd think it'd be the AI behind it that'd interest me, but i'm actually more interested in the webmarketing aspect - isn't it just the perfect link bait? it's targetted at bloggers, and what blogger could resist posting the results on their site? the only problem is that linking to the result from your blog creates a dynamic url, an almost identical copy of their homepage. what they should have done was to take the page referer and jack that into their algorithm directly, through some nice serverside scripting. but i'm sure their blog traffic is massive anyway.

and to save you checking, it thinks i'm a girl. if you look at the poll it's been correct 57% of the time. i don't know if that's good or not. and i don't know their algorithm, but if it's half decent it'll be learning and that figure should improve over time. that doesn't stop me from wondering how much more accurate it might be if it always gave the same gender though. i had a quick search around and couldn't find any statistics on the gender ratios of blogs, but i did find a fascinating article on the gender biases of links.

i don't have a blogroll exactly, but my google homepage features eight males and three females, four of which are homosexual, just to make it complicated. of the others, two may be vague bisexuals. so let's not go into that.

but what i don't understand about florida, why doesn't the state have a 100% voter turnout? oh, nevermind. forget it, just run.




03.11.2008: after consuming all the cheese and butter of france i've decided to tackle veganism again. this was a plan formed on the train back to paris, and i've managed to come up with a way that makes it actually doable for me. unfortunately the plan also makes me non-vegan, but any step in the right direction is a good step. right?

firstly, it's only until christmas. this might seem weird, but by making it temporal i won't have such horrible realisations as "i will never eat cheese again". having such a seemingly unattainable goal as never eating cheese will always trip me up. so the plan is to avoid all dairy until christmas, then sometime after christmas i'll do it again, but for how long i haven't decided yet. yes, building it up is a bit wishy washy, but if it works then it works. only eating cheese once a month is better than eating it all the time.

secondly, you'll notice i only mentioned avoiding dairy. i've decided to still eat eggs. i'm not sure exactly why, but if i need a reason it's because denmark is such a backwards country in regard to not eating meat, so being a vegan and getting enough protein etc is going to be difficult, never mind expensive. the treatment of chickens is as bad as anything, but i've always thought chickens were pretty stupid anyway eaten free range organic eggs. and now i'm just making excuses. but nevermind, this is my diet and it can be however i want it.

perhaps you don't like that i've used the word 'vegan' without actually being vegan? that's fair enough, i hate fish eating vegetarians as much as you, so i guess i'm a non-dairy vegetarian. but if i ever tell someone i'm vegan then i'm doing it to be safe. it's a catch all word so they wont go and do something stupid like butter my bread (so far two people have given me butter, but nevermind).

there's a third part too, which i'm not sure about, and this is whether to be a strict non-dairy vegetarian whilst eating out. getting vegetarian food in danish restaurants is hard enough, nevermind vegan as well. i've been thinking about avoiding anything obviously non-vegan, and then not worrying too much about the rest. but the problem is i don't like how ill defined that is.

anyway, now i've written it down and told everyone i can't go back on it. not that i think that's going to be a problem anyway. but y'know. lentils anyone? oh, or feedback. feedback is always welcome. anything to do with feeding. hmmm, food.

awesomely enough, my dad just emailed me a few relevant links. check these babies out. the slaughter boxes, bleeding tables and emptying machines are particularly 'fun'.

anyway, i got sucked into fisk again. i received a text from a woman asking if i could take her shift because she'd double booked. it made me feel special, being asked like that, so i agreed. only i found out later the text was sent to everyone. nevermind. the woman i was working with was interesting. she said she wasn't one much for procedure or rituals. she didn't follow recipes, she just made stuff how she felt at the time. she made coffee how she wanted. she added the till up by hand, without using a calculator. nothing in the right order. it was all quite strange. and it would be ok, except then she told me she was at university training to be a doctor.

that's the punchline. my work here is done.




02.11.2008: it was going to be friday and i was going to write "i'm in fisk, that's me in the corner losing my tan". but that never happened. it was for the best really, because everything had gone a bit wrong on wednesday. shifts had been confused and communications had been miscommunicated, i ended up running the place from 9:30 til 6:30 (with only mild exaggeration involving the word "running"). then i was back on thursday morning too, staying there until gone four when i left for one of my most frustrating language classes yet (the gap in ability is becoming a little too large, but i wont go into that now). i was starting to feel as if i had always been there.

anyway. band happened, and beer happened. again. we mammothed out and recorded an 'oi' song. and all of a sudden i'd been up for for over twenty hours. again. the night before was unimportant. but all the time since i'd gotten back from france, since monday, i'd barely seen julie at all, so friday night we went to the only ethiopian in town. i wasn't sure what to expect, considering the quality (lack of) of the restaurants around here, but the food was really good. there was a full introduction to ethiopian food, what all the dishes were, descriptions of the injera, etc. and over half of their buffet was vegetarian. apparently on tuesdays and thurdays ethiopians eat vegetarian, some religious thing i don't understand, but it's all good.

and now it's sunday night. again. i've had a nice day but i've been feeling sad. i don't know why. it's a sunday thing. it's an end of the weekend thing, because although i don't have weekends, other people still do. but yeah, like i said. it's been nice. only it's a shame i'm not seeing mogwai tonight. they're playing somewhere in the city, but we had a general lack of organisation and the cost was way to high. so nevermind.

we did see sonic boom last night though, at studenterhuset of all places. i had a brief but nice chat to him before he played and he knew who i was ("you look a lot different", well yeah), which was cool. and that's about all i have to say. to describe the gig i'd have to use only five words and repeat them over and over for several pages.

which reminds me, does anyone have any code that enables accurate addition and storage of extremely large integers? i thought 128bits would be large enough, but the values in pascal's triangle get really large really quickly. don't ask.

but all i really want to write about is the story about the big and the little hare. julie bought it my for christmas just before i first moved to denmark, and until now i've not been able to read it. something about it just makes me so sad. something unrelated to the pile of them i saw in a book shop a few months ago, them all marked down for quick sale. i wish i'd read it sooner, when i first got it. had it translated. i'm just feeling sad today. and stupid stories about bunnies trying to tell each other how much they love each other just makes me want to cry.




29.10.2008: i'm back from peaceful france (which it was, despite the intended irony), straight into street fires and burning cars. the cops kept me up all night with their wailing sirens and helicopters circling over our apartment. their intervention (evicting/pulling down a house) in christiania looks like a political move, there's an important court case coming up. so maybe it's a shame people started rioting, who knows. i saw the fires, but i kept my distance. we saw the initial protest during the day, the occupied knipplesbro bridge, and then i passed the riots on my bike coming back from language class at about eight. i have photos but they'll have to wait.

see, i'm busy. someone messed up at fisk today and i ended up working from 9:30am to 6:30pm. i offered to, because i was happy to, but i'm working again tomorrow at 9:30am again. then i have language class at 5pm and mammoth practice at 8pm. and right now i want to go out drinking. but it was fun rocking it on my own, in ways it wouldn't have been had i been earning a wage. i'm stupid like that.

was that another explosion i heard?

other important news, the 'fly (of the drunken butter variety) have a gig at studenterhuset on november 8th. that's a saturday, and we're promising to play more than one song this time.

also i'm in england from december 17th to the 27th. i suspect it clashes with something (some commercial bullshit, i don't know), but i'm hoping to see you anyway. maybe we can sort something out?

but apart from all that i have no idea what's going on.

some woman ordered cafe au lait today, then complained when she didn't get a latte. supid philistines. i suppose it's my fault right, because my danish isn't so good? pah. my cake went down well though, banana and chocolate. it had two bars of green & blacks in it, one white and one dark. i rock whilst i bake. anyway.

so, france. yeah. some day there will be photos and blah blah.




20.10.2008: firstly, the important stuff. i'm in france for the next seven days. i'm back late on monday. that's the 27th. i might have internet, i wont have phone. i will have lots of books and a bass though. and croissants (that's the important bit).

i wanted to write yesterday. with obscene words that were sailing into my head ("cease to resist, giving my goodbye"). i could have summed up how i felt beautifully. all gash and dog burps, big incoherent shit of a mess. i would have been happy. but i couldn't face turning the computer on. a million too many pixels of information. 97 too many buttons. i'd woken up drunker than i could remember being in a long time. waking up is for being refreshed, but no. i was all over the floor and giggling. eating curry for breakfast (leaving most of it) and listening to reggae. of course. so i did nothing all day. the most i could stretch too was reading bad comics, but even then i couldn't manage the william shatner one. we all sat down and watched some films, then we took emil out for dinner at the newish italian place on christianshavn, very packed and middleclass-posh. the kind of place that charges 40kr for a jug of water. but the food was good. after eating very little all day i got proper stuffed.

it had been one of those nights. i'd started drinking with a glass of champagne, then some horribly strong beer that i'd bought due to its nice label (it's what the homeless people drink, go figure). then we'd taken the bus up to the new ungdomshuset, the big opening night, but it was so busy and faced with the huge queue we decided to head back to the house party we'd lined up for afterwards. of course the bus journey required more beer and blah blah blah. anyway, it was the third house warming party at kenneth and katrina's. they were rocking a cocktail bar of epic proportions. and from here on it all becomes a little hazy. and i have to apologise for throwing the limes. and amongst other things, i'm sure. drinking through people's ears, spilling that thick syrupy latvian spirit (i'm not sure that even was me), not getting around to explaining timewave zero to mathias. in my mind we were there for about an hour, but it must have been three times that.

you should see my omlette. it is a thing of beauty (excluding the spiral of ketchup).

on friday night we had jolle over for dinner. i got too ambitious and tried to cook four different curry dishes. it was ok, but i've i'd been able to concentrate on just two it would have been much better. but still, it looked very impressive. we sat around playing 'the last question from eve's quest' ("the colour that best represents woman is gold, it's highly prized but in reality worthless", etc). we played some 'guess who?'. we watched some primer. pure rock'n'roll.

and we listened to our new song (stein - "stain, like an anus stain. from the stool that fell from a squid"), which we'd recorded on thursday. the music thing is going quite well.

there are other things i want to tell you about. like the boiled egg i tried to crack into a frying pan. but i couldn't do that moment justice, prizing open a boiled egg. i didn't know whether to laugh or scream. remember, i was probably drunk at the time. who mixes up the boiled and uncooked eggs anyway?

we balanced the till.

but anyway, i need to get up in seven hours. so. everything else into the void.




15.10.2008: we're on our way to buy oats and orange juice. i'm feeling snotty and lousy so i'm wearing my big coat for the first time since leaving canada. it's grey and miserable (the weather not the coat). and infront of us there's a thump as a woman at the bus stop collapses into the pavement. all i see is a white coat lying there motionless on the ground. in my memory it's twitching, but that's not how it was. we run over to help her along with two other people and i felt totally useless. i wasn't understanding anything anyone was saying. and the bus driver, he looks down from his seat behind the wheel, sees that he's not going to get sued or anything, then just drives off. the woman seemed lucid enough, she stayed on the ground until the ambulance arrived. she was most worried about breaking something, as she was going in for cancer treatment the next day, and she wouldn't be able to if she'd injured herself badly. anyway, she said she'd just tripped. and that was the lowlight of my week. i felt obliged to tell the story because it was so damn depressing.

my first shift at fisk went well. i think it's the earliest i've been up since i went to the netherlands. i spent most of the day cleaning. y'know, trying to make a good impression. i make excellent coffee too. um. and i arranged all the flowers. after my shift i went to get a new studenterhuset hus card, i'm now good for the next two terms. that's free coffee and tea until september. and beer for 12kr. or was it eleven? insane anyway. on saturday we drank 5.5 litres of free beer there. apparently some "ethnic homo" was throwing a party. you'd think a "free beer" sign outside would really pull people in, but it was quite quiet. probably it was the music putting people off. it sure put me off. then i arrive for band practice on monday night and i'm summoned upstairs for pancakes.

that's pancakes two days in a row, and it's totally not my fault. that's my week's highlight.

elsewhen we've been painting the bench. been trying to work out how to get my bass to denmark. been making tea menus. hiding from the cold. testing our new herbs. blah blah blah.

right now i'm thinking about how lame i am for never updating my website, even though i've got stuff to write (which has been promptly forgotten). it's general lameness. it will be worked out. same thing seems to be happening to everyone. i'd like to say it's because i just don't have the time, but that's not quite true. yes, i have a lot to do, but not much of it seems to be getting done all that fast.




11.10.2008: i'm now an official volunteer at fisk, a fair trade cafe/boutique in town. i've got three 'training' shifts next week (even though i've already worked there unofficially a number of times), i'm quite excited. last night i was djing there for their culture night (emil is one of the main organizers), which coincided with copenhagen's more general 'kultur nat'. this, i guess, is intended to be something akin to nuit blanche, but not anywhere near as good. various museums and galleries opened late, but you still had to pay, and it only went until midnight. a few already existing sculptures and fountains had been nicely lit up (i enjoyed walking across the water feature outside thorvaldsens museum, with all the other kids, only i had a beer, ha), but there were no new art installations. the main road around christiansborg had been closed off to traffic and it was full of people, that was nice. but i'd rather visit these places during the day, when you don't have to queue up. so we stayed at fisk all night, and my dj set list looked something like this:

  • japan - coco rosie
  • proofs - mates of state
  • the bridge - kirsten ketsjer
  • jumpers - sleater kinney
  • the nocturnal house - pretty girls make graves
  • twenty dollars - mia
  • i and i survive - bad brains
  • merry blues - manu chao
  • bam bam - sister nancy
  • six days - dj shadow
  • harrowdown hill - thom yorke
  • travel is dangerous - mogwai
  • lazy eye - silversun pickups
  • a plague on both your houses - chris tt
  • maps - yeah yeah yeahs
  • brazil - geoff muldaur

i played a bunch of other songs later as well, from whatever cds were lying around, but none of those caused the people walking past outside to scrunch their face up or put their fingers in their ears. to be fair, it was very loud outside. the largest speaker in the cafe was pointing straight out the open window and the sound was bouncing off the church wall opposite, it was a barrage of crazy treble.

blah blah blah.

my language school is up in norrebro. or "norrebronx" as people round here sometimes call it, which is funny but not particularly fair. the media have always enjoyed making it out as a dangerous place, all those anarchists setting fire to cars and immigrants doing all those terrible things immigrants do. i've never felt in danger there myself, but if you wanted to get shot i suppose it's the statistically best place to go. about an hour before i cycled through there on thursday someone sprayed around 30 shots of machine gun fire up a street. this in response to someone who'd just previously fired a handgun somewhere. it's something to do with the hells angels (isn't an apostrohpe required?) or something, but the details are lost on me. what annoys me most is our local secondhand bookshop had a copy of hunter s thompson's book on the hells angels, but someone else bought it before i had the chance. not me almost getting shot, which although exciting, never really happened.




10.10.2008: if anyone needs to know, i'll be in france from the 21st to the 27th of october, mostly in the charente area. croissant anyone? croissant croissant?

croissaaaaaaaaaaant

hmmmm. croissant and calvados.




08.10.2008: when even was my last gig? about six years ago, i think maybe june 2002. it all ended when i moved down to brighton. whenever i came back to rugby me and corey would play in our 'attic', but nothing "live". then i met grilly and after much messing about we formed rebessica, practiced and were almost gig ready (by my standards at least) before it all folded (and has since remolded into bruised pilgrim, strangely with corey and not me - boooo) when i first moved to copenhagen me and emil had a one time practice with one of his friends, but none of us were good enough to carry it - it was stillborn. and no music happens in canada. only in quebec, by people who consider themselves "not canadian" (nous sommes bloc quebecois!). and before you want to argue about that, let me remind you about celine dion, avril lavigne, kittie and bush (yes, them too). but returning to copenhagen, by luck (also mild skill and determination) i managed to plant myself into drunken butterfly. you know this already. and we had our first 'gig' on tuesday. i say 'gig' in inverted commas because we only played one song - "the song". but it was amazing.

when we arrived it was like going back in time. i'd not much thought about the gig, all i had was excitement, very simple emotions. but walking in there, all the tables arranged but all empty, the lights all on and the sound guys setting up, it was kind of disconcerting. it wasn't nerves. it was just something. we sound checked and i tried to not get impatient. the sound guy is your friend, no matter how patronising he is ("jack, that's international", yeah, i could see what it was, it was the words around "jack" i was concerned about), he is not to be pissed off. i stood there playing random bass for about ten minutes. it felt like longer. the sound going through all kinds of weird filters. first he said my output had too much bass, which is ridiculous. then they had trouble with my distortion ("what the fuck was that?"). but it's the gig that mattered and we played well. it felt odd with the crowd all sitting down, like we should have been playing lounge music or something, but that was ok too.

but all this for just one song. we still don't know how long it is. maybe a little over twenty minutes. maybe a bit more since we played this first part quite slowly. we was timid ("was", referring to a singular entity). after the show the organiser woman came up to jolle and told him it was some word beginning with "a" (amazing or awesome). she said we were "avant garde or something" and then gave us extra beer tickets (triple). that's about as good a compliment as we could get. and i went and spent those tickets well (even if they did only grant you a half pint).

so yeah, one song. it wasn't enough. i wanted more. so four bands later, when snorre came and asked me if i could play some funky hip hop bass for him, i couldn't really turn it down. i'd never jammed on stage before, or been on stage whilst that drunk, or even properly played with anyone doing "hip hop". what's the worst that could happen? i don't know, but it felt really good. i just wish i could hear it back. maybe it's for the best i can't.

what is the worst that could have happened? it ain't ok to be gay in the kkk? hot hot hot hot happened (that last 'hot' is for me). jolle was dragged back inside and we played a couple of their songs (snorre telling me numbers and rhythms before each one). i was told later it was terrible. which is good. because it meant the not hot hot hot was good in comparison. we still weren't done, me and jolle continued to play with snorre on drums (where was kenneth anyway?), just making stuff up as we went along, him running over to my side of the stage to shout numbers in my ears. every now and again the organisers would come drag a drunk high guy off stage. wasn't i also a stage invader? this guy, he asked for "no instruments" so we turned them up. then ten minutes later the woman gave us the hand signal for "time" and we stopped dead. like professionals. and that earnt us more beer tickets. i felt like a hero. or rather something a bit less ridiculous.

so where now? i don't know. but let's go.

and i'd be getting more done if i wasn't playing about with blocks with letters on. it's the cleverest little game i've found for ages. and it's too hard. i don't like linking to games, but that one deserves it.




06.10.2008: wow, it's been ages. the wind came. what can i say? i hadn't realised. my heads been full of rain. all of the events i'd want to record have been lost. i didn't even get to see the the sunset on friday, only its edges in fallout pink and biblical orange. the rest of our world is grey and flat.

i was trying to work at fisk, the fairtrade store, but there were plenty of proper volunteers there already. i helped out where i could but i need to sign up properly. that requires either going to the new volunteer meeting, which i wont because it'd all be in danish, or speaking to the main woman when she gets back from guatemala. or wherever. i want to be a barista.

anyway, we took lunch at a great indian cafe (more like an opium den) just down from gammeltorv. whilst eating we watched manic bollywood videos. can anyone recommend some good bollywood? then we went for cocktails at a classy bar on the corner. imagine it as being as opposite of the moose as possible, but with us still being able to get in. the guys at the next table stared at me as i sat down. ha. back at home we tried to watch lost highway but went to bed instead. i dreamt about 1984, each chapter only two or three sentences long.

it was a crazy early night for me, since i'd been out the night before (band practice turning into drinks at isola) and woken up really late. but that's ok. i've got all my doom patrol to read.

saturday night i was working at studenterhuset, my first time working a proper bar. it was a good experience with an easy learning curve and i only messed up a few times. how much can they be bothered about stock control when it's a volunteer run bar? i'm sure my money balanced anyway. lowlights of the night were two young skinhead yobs (who would have been thrown out long before they got to the bar in england) who were counting the pennies trying to buy beers, then getting obnoxious and complaining about the (actually reasonable) cost. they were obviously too young to have been to many downtown bars. or perhaps not, this is denmark. then there was a girl who wanted her five pints, which i'd already pulled, for free because she worked there one time and it was her birthday. honestly. also i couldn't get the smell of the toilet out of my nose all sunday. the wednesday before, international night, someone had taken a shit right in the middle of the floor. ghastly. but all in all it was vastly enjoyable. i will be doing it again sometime.

did anything happen on sunday? walks in christiania, visiting the recycling dump, cooking a big roast. again. it's a good formula, why fuck with it. even walking to the shops and back in the rain felt good. alex made the best cake, chocolate chip and orange. it tasted like jaffa cakes. i watched a terrible film. i've been really enjoying just hanging out. watching the trees turn orange. and then to purple. hopefully.

and actually, i've barely been touching my computer. it's been good taking a break and immersing myself in books, comics and the chilly air. more on those another time though.




30.09.2008: when i got to bed last night (sometime around 1am, after sitting in the kitchen doodling for half an hour, having got back from band practice somehow not completely exhausted) i managed to keep julie awake for half an hour talking silly danish. this is good but surprising, since she had to get up in just over four hours. here's to me and all my stupid sentence variations.

but they've done this really stupid thing at language school. they've started locking the entrance doors at half six, which means if you leave the building during the break (which i do to get a samosa and a nectarine) you can't get back in. you'd have to sit outside and wait until classes finished at quarter to eight for someone to open the door so you could get your stuff.

to counteract the bad karma the city has improved several cycle paths in the city. there are now three main roads where the traffic lights are timed for cyclists, so that if you cycle a steady 20km/h you don't meet a single red light. that is amazing. they've also increased the width of a few cycle paths where it used to get seriously clogged up. the most noticeable is the road over peblingeso where i used to be forced onto the road.

then practice was good. it wasn't quite so loud as usual and i haven't been drinking at practices recently. this combination greatly increases clarity. or maybe it's the impending gig forcing me to get the structure down. and those scraps of sassafras.

i've bought a few old doom patrol comics, issues from just before grant morrison took it on. i don't expcet them to be any good, but i thought it'd be interesting to see what he had to work with and how they set it up for his take over. excuses aside, old comics are just too funny. the adverts are amazing. "an atlas body? in 7 days", "mindreading, learn the secrets", "genuine mako sharks tooth necklace", "stink bombs - real gross", "pac-man! gobble the power pellets of get gobbled by ghosts". i was quite impressed too that at the bottom of every comic page preceding an advert it tells you in how many pages the story continues, as if it wasn't obvious. all very strange.

and the fire exploding black bird flew into the tenement of fury.

someone called me sebastian.




30.09.2008: whilst my porridge is cooking, let me catch up. where was i? oh, fuck it. the porridge is ready now anyway.

a few days ago we found a couple of those one-time barbeques in the trash, someone had been kind enough to place them on top of the dumpsters, rather than in them. so on sunday we had our last (and first) barbeque of the 'summer'. we'd gotten our vege products from the english store in town, which although expensive is sometimes worth it. i can confirm the barbeque was a roaring success. apart from the peppers, they were a really bad idea. also it didn't end with us watching primer. but nevermind that.

then i spent most of yesterday remembering java, getting my head around how the graphics object works and relearning trigonometry. i was making it up as i went along, but ended up with a program that made pointless rainbow patterns, something like this:



it actually looked much better when it wasn't working properly, but nevermind that either. i feel capable again.

or is it culpable?

last night emil and mathias started making their epic hitler zombie film. i took a few random photos whilst they were testing the 'blood', but it was so entertaining i decided to do some proper "behind the scenes" documentation. viewer discretion:




proof that i can focus in the dark.

and finally, kenneth sent me this rather fitting cartoon. you can even see the mammoth in the background.




27.09.2008: all tomorrows parties, tell me what to do. should i go or not? time is fleeting and i don't want to let it make the decision for me. i'd go without hesitation if only it wasn't so early in december. obviously i'd stick around until after christmas, and that's maybe too long a time. curses to you patton.

either way i'll be in rugby for christmas. that's an important announcement. and for new years i'll be in norway, up in the mountains somewhere. you may be able to join us if you want, but at the moment i can't promise anything. email if you're interested and i'll keep you posted.

the other important announcement is that drunken butterfly have a gig on october 7th at stengade. we only have a half hour slot, so we'll only be playing one song, but it will be a good one. we've had a few people visit our practice room, and apart from julie, katrina et al last night (when me and kenneth totally ballsed up the mammoth, but it wasn't soley our fault), we've had a good response. when we're amongst friends we're amongst friends.

thing is, why are there so many flies in the studenterhus toilets? it's just weird. about as weird as them switching the ladies and gents around. the flies are probably there in protest. maybe they don't like hip hop either, why should they? but yeah, just hanging out at the bar and playing myer. drinking multiple cups of coffee at 1am, because it's always free and the beer isn't. then i didn't get anywhere near enough sleep. we went out for breakfast, but i think it was the christiania birthday party last night so the moonfisher cafe (can't remember how to spell it in danish) wasn't serving eggs. we went somewhere posh instead, opposite one of the scientology buildings, where they do a vegetarian brunch - a single plate holding various breads, roast vegetables, salad, two different cheeses, toast topped with goats cheese and cranberries, scrambled egg (too peppery), pancakes, yoghurt and fruit. it also came with orange juice and tea of coffee. i was impressed.

i'm installing JDK right now. i can feel the ends of my fingertips tingling in anticipation.

and i'm so looking forward to watching 'battlefield earth', really i am.




25.09.2008: i've become obsessed by this 4d maze game. i found it years ago, but back then it only ran on linux. last night i thought to check it out again, and this morning i woke up with crossed eyes. i dreamt all night about rotating through a fourth dimension. all the horrible things that would suddenly become visible, things floating just outside our thin slice of 4d space, the extension of any objects we thought were only 3d, but weren't, and the insides of 3d objects that are.

i want to make a game out of this. i'm convinced it's possible. we can even have portals. and time portals. i know how to make it work. i wonder how hard it would be to convert an open source 3d engine into a 4d engine? i suspect it'd be easier to start from scratch. but then, i never did get the hang of perspective and hidden surface removal, isn't that the important stuff? maybe it could be my new project.

and then grilly points me towards braid. doesn't that look a lot of fun? the third jayisgames competition (replay) had a few games that were similar, but none look as well thought out as this. i haven't been so excited about games since portal. maybe shadow of the colossus. i actually got portal working on my computer. but only for five minutes.

shit, i gotta watch me some primer.

gotta catch me some sun.




24.09.2008: sunday, trying to develop a ritual tradition in our apartment of us all going out somewhere and then having a big dinner together. so far it's working out well. even just hanging out in christiania for morning hot chocolate is enough, going over to see the horses, walking around the lake, checking out the recycling dump. and then shephards pie. full of love instead of meat.

monday, me and emil are hanging in the kitchen. we are glacial in our movements. until it's time to walk the distance to "fish and beer", the best and strangestly named beer shop in town (they used to also sell fish). i now consider us stocked up with the finest selection of beers this side of belgium. also it rained.

then those films i mentioned. we watched two of the futurama movies, one of which used some well thought out time travel, and that makes me happy. i also watched 'sunshine', the most recent danny boyle movie. the influences are obvious, the plot carries nothing original and the physics are questionable, but there was something about it i really liked. something more than just cillian murphy's eyes. maybe it was the orange, which worked so well for dante01 (with purple even, but still not enough to save some terrible production. caro, we know it wasn't your fault).

tuesday, i have my language class and i'm sitting there wondering how the teacher can have so much patience. i know he gets frustrated, but he does a good job of hiding it. at least most of the time. in my less than stoic moments i started scribbling such nasities as "giggling is not an answer", "stop whispering other people's answers", "the same question over and over and you still don't get it", "context will not always be a friend standing by your side". i bury myself in my doodles to survive.

but the chinese guy made good on his promise of bringing his guitar in. initially i wasn't much pleased - there was no way i was playing for anyone. in the lunch break i hit a few chords, but what could i really play? it's not my way. our old teacher heard the strings and came in for a quick play, he was good, but who surprised me most was the chinese guy himself. and to think he claimed he couldn't sing. his voice was amazing, i couldn't believe it. he started playing some chinese pop songs and they were awesome, especially with one of the chinese girls singing along. i couldn't stop smiling.

mammut. soon.




21.09.2008: we spent our saturday in malmo (my first proper time anywhere proper in sweden) participating in the european social forum. although claiming "participation" may be a slight exaggeration - we turned up, listened to some speechesm watched some bands, acquired a silly amount of flyers and leaflets, then joined the non-ESF anti-capitalist demonstration. we weren't exactly paying customers.



the anti-capitalist bloc was allowed to slide into the middle of the ESF march, with its main body being made up of your standard issue black bloc variation. they even had their own security and first-aiders, telling the official ESF workers and volunteers they weren't welcome in the bloc. i'm not sure about the logistics of that, but it kind of made sense, what with it being an autonomous bloc and everything. there were a few things i couldn't understand about the bloc though, the main thing being that nearly all of them were wearing nike or adidas trainers:



there are various scenarios that make it ok to own such nasty corporate trainers, but carrying such logos on your feet at an anti-capitalist demo? and so many of the participants too? a lot of them were also wearing really expensive jackets, but that doesn't bother me so much as the guy drinking coke. even if he stole the cans, he was still carrying the image. it's too contradictory.

but there's nothing like walking down the middle of the street, the air filled with orange gas and flare smoke, electro remixes of rage against the machine, hundreds of fists raised in the air and everywhere black and red flags. nowt like that to get the blood pumping.






there wasn't much trouble, the police generally kept their distance, only standing by the parade route when it passed through the commercial town centre:



it's almost comical how the police vans were exclusively infront of the mcdonalds and burger king 'restaurants'. protecting what's important, y'know. a couple of the police groups got showered with glass bottles. unnecessary antagonism, especially condsidering they'd announced over the loud speakers "don't let the police provoke you". but then, i guess their presence is provocation enough. the only time i was concerned was when people started digging up the cobblestones (benefit of the doubt, it was as a defensive measure, we'd stopped by some police and things were looking unpredictable), but the demo moved on.

all the trouble had already occured the night before after the 'reclaim the streets' party. apparently there was around 700 people out having fun. there were also reports of german, danish and norwegian police on the streets, acting as civilian cops. it's funny because they were causing so much trouble the swedish police told them they'd have to arrest them if they didn't behave themselves and stop harassing the activists.

but what was the goal of the bloc and what did it achieve? there wasn't anyone carrying out any action that required the use of a black bloc, so i'm presuming it was either a show of strength (slightly redundant after the night before), a way for people to march anonymously (also unnecessary?) or a show of solidarity. perhaps they think it's important to have 'inactive' black blocs, so it's not instantly obvious to the police that there's about to be serious trouble's when a black clad group starts running down the street. or perhaps they wanted a platform by which any individual can act anonymously and autonomously without having a set plan. the idea seems quite dangerous to me, and totally counterproductive when it only results in glass bottles being thrown at cops. it's not helping anyone's cause.

but anyway, everyone had a good time (only one person got pepper sprayed) and the weather held out. i had a good experience of sweden, and it was the perfect way to see malmo. the route took us around the whole city centre and the march ended in pilldammsparken. it's such a beautiful park, the trees are massive. they also have a huge amount of indian restaurants, we totally should have planned dinner better. not that we had any swedish money. we ate in the park instead, a group was providing organic vegan food for cheap donations. it even had meat substitute in it. sweden also has great sweets with no gelatin. see, it's not difficult.

anyway, i'm about to watch a movie. got to go.




19.09.2008: i was looking through some old folders last night and i came across a bunch of old images i'd totally forgotten about. not only forgotten, but in some cases i can't actually remember having made them at all. my favourite is onion boy:



he comes with no explanation. then this doodle which, although evidently mine, i have zero recollection of:



this poster/cover/whatever also caught my eye:



but probably just because it's so gruesome.

does anyone have an clever asp that needs coding? are you building a website and want the layout to do something complicated? do you want some fun server-side scripting? i'm bored, give me work.

there was a girl in my language class the other day called tintin. anyway, enough of this crap.




18.09.2008: something in the air makes me feel like i'm back at university. i think it's the smell. campus laundrette. and i'm sitting in the kitchen eating pasta quickly before leaving for school. although, this pasta far surpasses anything i ever made at university. food or otherwise. actually, that robotic head was kinda cool.

oh, it's just autumn. new school year. that'll be the association. our society has made autumn the time for new things, not spring. look how we've messed everything up.

anyway, thanks to the anti-abortionist christian institute (yay!) google has just changed its policy "enabling religious associations to place ads on abortion in a factual way". how any religious group can claim to do anything "factual" is a moot point, but nevermind that. i suggest you go celebrate their win by exercising their new found freedom, go click those ads.

also a few days ago i came into possession of a durst A300 enlarger. i picked it up from the recycling dump (yes, people are throwing them away), and unfortunately it had already been ravaged by various people. as we walked away, me trying to cary it somehow over my shoulder, a guy chased after us with a small lens piece and a plate of glass (that may or may not have been polarized) that he'd taken out of it. but why? both of these would have been almost completely useless to him. the biggest problem was the lack of a main lens. you can ebay them quite cheaply, but was i also going to buy all the necessary chemicals and other random bits i needed? and where could i set up a darkroom anyway? the bathroom? so i took it back. although i did keep the 150w bulb.

and i took some weird photographs:



can you guess what it is? it's also become the background for a new title image. a boy's gotta do something after wednesday night band practice.

i was wired on coffee. most of everything i'd consumed all day had been coffee. two too many cups. it's good for my game though. not good for my nerves. iced coffee in the salon cafe wins. the loser was the studenterhuset coffee, obviously, but then it is free. so. i can't belive i'm talking this shit. please ignore.

can anyone give me good advice on the danish tax system? i know this is not the place to ask, but still.




15.09.2008: ok, i admit it. every year i let summer blind me to how beautiful autumn is. when summer comes it's never a surprise, but you can fall in love with autumn every fucking time. go autumn, go. i get to wear a jumper again.

this weekend we went fruit picking, out on a farm down amager, so far south that emil received a "welcome to sweden" sms. it was something like this:



row after row of apple trees, pear trees and plum trees. all assorted varieties. there was even a sign for free coffee, only the table had been abandoned and there was no coffee in sight. and when we came back with our four bags full of fruit, how were we supposed to pay? we were going to leave some money for them in the letter box, but another family had been told to take whatever they wanted because the whole plot had been sold. free pickings. we were lucky in finding the place too. walking around seemingly random country lanes, all that potential for trespassing, stealing the wrong person's apples. but yeah, good family fun.

and all day today we've been making plum jam and apple sauce.

our root vegetables and mass quantity of bread have also been going to good use. we cooked us up a huge sunday roast dinner on saturday. homemade sage and onion stuffing and yorkshire puddings and the lot. roast everything. we even had homemade apple cake for pudding because alex is back from her travels in france.

for future reference, christiania radio is 90.4

and i have to report the sad news that the drum kit has been sold. apparently to a very good home.

anyway, i'm quite proud of myself. i've managed to work out how to embed subtitles into video files.

and we saw a great korean film tonight, 'bin jip' (or 3-iron). consider it highly recommended.

blah blah blah blah blah.




12.09.2008: i'm feeling a bit better today. and not just because i received a large package of comics this morning. go khepri, go. i could have stayed in bed a couple of more hours when the doorbell went. my lips had glued together, i had to pull them apart before answering. but it was worth it. it's been so long since i've been able to read anything even slightly alternative.

i also got myself a new bittorrent client and i think i've fixed the sound problem with my computer. everything is nice and smooth. now all i need is a version of peer guardian that works with vista, any recommendations? (er, apart from using linux).

we even got peanut butter.

U.N. agency eyes curbs on Internet anonymity - "A United Nations agency is quietly drafting technical standards, proposed by the Chinese government, to define methods of tracing the original source of Internet communications and potentially curbing the ability of users to remain anonymous". it's worth keeping on top of this one. it scared me at first (it's against the UN's universal declaration of human rights for a start, isn't that somewhat contradictory?), but it quickly starts to seem ridiculous. they'd have to rewrite the internet, wouldn't they? my only concern is that, as jacob appelbaum points out, "no blackhat would ever be caught by this". the security value becomes zero and it's reduced to nothing but surveillance. it's only use would be in oppressing dissent. and time for that fantastic quote from the leaked ITU document, use case 1.5:

A political opponent to a government publishes articles putting the government in an unfavorable light. The government, having a law against any opposition, tries to identify the source of the negative articles but the articles having been published via a proxy server, is unable to do so protecting the anonymity of the author.

nasty people are trying to take over our internet. and my favourite quote from the article - "anonymity is a shield from the tyranny of the majority". take that home.

and did you know the smiley face logo is a trademark of smileyworld ltd? fuck that, honestly. surely it should be public domain by now?




11.09.2008: hurray, we're still alive. well, some of us.

me, i've succumb to post-summer blues. physically more than mentally. i'll be staying at home today, wearing pajamas and drinking lots of honey, lemon and ginger drink. at least we can eat porridge again. and i do make the best porridge.

on monday i took my computer into town, figuring i'd get some 'work' done with a change of scenery. i might have done too, if jolle hadn't have been at studenterhuset as well. pesky kids, etc. i just can't resist backgammon.

tuesday i had language course and band practice. both of which i'm greatly enjoying. we only really had half a practice, as a friend was doing a gig in the church behind the round tower, right next to where we practice. church gigs are the new in thing, totally. and not a little uncomfortable. great sound though.

wednesday i dragged myself out of bed horribly early and cycled out to meet julie at the university after a lecture she'd attended. we we're going to eat at a cafe in a greenhouse somewhere but that never happened. i was feeling rubbish and we couldn't find the stupid cafe. we cycled back into town and ate at the tortoise place, which made me feel better, so much food. we went in search of big pots and bought several kilos of root vegetables. it seemed like a good idea at the time.

i also spoke to a cop about the girls that attacked us the other week. he was a friendly fellow.

and then what else?

sitting around and watching too many movies, mostly bad. so nevermind.




07.09.2008: it's sunday night again. i'm sitting up on my own again. finishing up the weekend alone. smashing pumpkins playing on the tv, the lost tapes of '94. and then there's mogwai. remember that pancake place up bathurst? christie pits, trinity bellwood. oh, nothing.

so, it's been good.

friday night i found myself on my own so i headed into town to see who or what i could find. i got as far as studenterhuset, jolle was running the show so it was clearly my best bet. it was either that or the guitar hero championship at isola, but i don't think two nights there in a row is physically possible. at least not advisable. we'd all met up there on thursday after band practice and that enough for one week. but anyway, there were bands playing at studenterhuset and the first came recommended (although mostly relating to the female band member). but they were good. i don't think i knew there name at the time, but if i did i've forgotten it. what they taught me was that the mammoth needs strings. where is abi?

oh yeah, it just occured to me why i couldn't draw a mammoth at isola on thursday night - i'd forgotten the trunk. why did no one point that out? probably the same reason everyone was falling over on the dancefloor (sonic youth?). at least no one fell down the stairs this week.

the kids finished with the cinema, called me, and we ended up in the basement of floss. again. i can't help it, i just don't like it there. so we left. i raced them home, they took the bus and i took the win. we almost watched misery but then didn't.

and now i'm confused, because i thought friday was saturday, in which case i would have spent saturday helping julie at fisk, the fairtrade store where they volunteer, but i didn't. that was friday. pricing up new stock. so what was saturday all about? cleaning the shower, shopping at fotex where they were handing out two free beers to each person (tuborg lite - lower in fat, alcohol and drinkability, apparently), napping in the middle of the day. i'm sad because i can't remember what i had for dinner either day. could it have been that unremarkable? no, because on saturday we did an awesome chilli, something we haven't cooked for ages. like the lasagne last week. but friday? nevermind, something bachelor-esque and pathetic. nevermind.

saturday night emil's band were playing folkets hus. there were two other bands i also wanted to see playing at various venues across the city, but i'd never been to folkets hus so 'born to suck' (as they're more affectionately known) won our attentions. annoyingly i don't know much about folkets hus. apparently it's not a squat, it just looks like one - graffiti everywhere, a general lack of cleanliness, free food (although nothing to eat it out of or with), etc. and there were punk kids (aged 13 i'm told) running around drinking beer and climbing up the outside walls. it's a cool place, sure. especially with the new park they've just finished landscaping (if that's the correct word). after the band played and we'd heard a polite amount of the headliner (spanish punk with four guitarists) we left to find a bar with kenneth and katrina, ending up in a too-hip-for-school norrebro bar where one of their new housemates is working. it was an interesting contrast if nothing else. the alcohol was almost three times as expensive (their cocktail menu started at 75kr - about $15) and it was packed with trendy rich kids. i fit right in, of course, but everyone else thought it a bit weird. or maybe it was just the lack of oxygen. we left after one remarkably good beer.

sunday is all the beauty of your aching september. we cycled out to the northern tip of christianshavn in an attempt to find a strange cafe that we'd been told about. out there it's all factories, water treatment plants and boat moorings. cracked concrete and wire mesh fencing. who would hide a cafe out there? one that's almost impossible to find? we managed to find it though, but only by exploring down every road we could take and doing a lot of doubling back. yes, it would have helped if we'd known the cafe's name, as it's quite well signposted, but nevermind. if it'd been the case we'd never have cycled underneath the huge windmills. or been able to claim we've explored the whole area. the cafe is great though, you've probably seen it in a million photos, directly behind the mermaid - "cafe" in big black letters across the side of a building. great in a weird way. it's all open air and there are more beds than tables. it's what i imagine being in ibiza is like. and for the second time we've found ourselves somewhere incredibly trendy. maybe 'exclusive' is more the word. it's easier to get to by boat than car. and you're not allowed visible back tattoos or tshirts with collars. but whilst it remains quiet (their usual kind of clientele absent) it'll remain pleasant, chilling out in the sun and watching the boats go by. we might return for nachos and a sandwich sometime.

oh wow, open office. that's convenient.




05.09.2008: september maybe, and windy as hell. but you can still swim in the sea. falling back into the big blue. swimming with the jelly fishes. and the sun will still dry you as you cycle home, weaving your way through the supposed sand dunes. sure the wind is bringing a whole lot more than just gritty sand, but that cold's not here quite yet.

i'm a fool for skinny dipping when it's so windy. i'm a fool for skinny dipping. but there's only one summer of '08.

wont someone run away with me?

i have to apologise to the guy who was trying to pray to mecca. when a guy's gotta get naked and jump he's gotta get naked and jump.

this week they discovered the largest illegal polish immigrant working operation, and right across from our apartment. you can see the containers they live in. they live in fucking containers. i want to write something about it but don't actually know anything else about it. so it goes.

you know i live in a gorgeous city? still sometimes i'll be cycling down a backstreet and it'll hit me how fucking beautiful it is. cobblestones. fuck yeah.

my danish classes are improving a lot. the new teacher is being more reasonable and the other students are chilling out a little. i have a theory that he was only such an ass so we'd socialize with each other more. a common enemy etc. whatever it was he did it worked. there will be no complaining. although yesterday he said, and i quote, "danish is one of the most advanced languages, in the world even". yes. someone else told me i needn't take "dirty" cups from the kitchen (which is starting to smell, the cups that i haven't been washing are getting really nasty), because there are clean plastic cups on top of the water cooler. i tried to explain why i choose a reuseable mug over a disposable cup, but she didn't really get it. i don't really get it either, people are weird.




04.09.2008: despite it being one of the main shopping streets in copenhagen, there's a lot of things i like about kobmagergade. one of them's the piano guy, wheeling his piano along the street to croon and play melancholic songs. another is studenterhuset. but my favourite thing is the birds. as soon as the street quietens down, maybe 11pm on a weekday, you can hear them sing all the way from the round tower to amagertorv. it's all the serene benefits of 5am without any of the cons. like getting up early.

that's been a problem for me recently. for the last couple of weeks i've been waking up at 7:15am almost on the dot. i'll then fall back asleep and wake up again at 8:30am. it's still too early so i fall back asleep, only to wake up again at 10am. it's spooky, it happens every morning. without looking i can know exactly what time it is everytime i wake up.

the sensible of you might suggest i'm being woken up by people leaving the building or something. whatever.

i was in studenterhuset yesterday, reading my books and whatnot (and they actually had decent coffee for once), and this english guy was sitting behind me. he said the most stupid thing, but i just can't remember what it was. i knew i should have written down. you'll have to make do with some quotes from one of julie's pitiful work mates. the other day she said that paedophiles should be tied down and raped 27 times by a negro. she also said that golf courses are a good way to keep some nature. how do you get by in life?

and if you drink a cocktail containing "baileys, chilli powder, tequila, absinthe, ouzo, vodka, cider and gin" you get what's coming to you. and it's not news.

as for me, time to fry a sandwich and hit up the beach




02.09.2008: there's a problem i have. sometimes there are things not suitable for my website that i feel the need to rant about. either they're personal matters or it would really suck if any persons involved read it. i mean, if i have such issues they should be dealt with in person (remember the mess we made over jess's blog).

but i guess that doesn't always work. so i can do something like this:

we used to live in a great house. we shared our food and had an noncoercive cleaning scheme. i thought it worked well, but recently it's all gone to shit.

my idea for sharing cleaning duties was simple. you have a sheet up on the fridge that lists every task to be completed each week, and when someone does one they put their name in the corresponding box. you clean when you want and everyone can see how much work everyone does. if someone isn't pulling a fair amount of weight it quickly becomes evident. it's then easy for people to adjust the amount of cleaning they're doing to balance it out. if someone's too busy to clean for a couple of weeks, it's fine. if someone wants to clean the whole apartment one week, that's fine too.

but what happened with it? one person didn't do any significant cleaning for well over a month. it wouldn't be so bad, except in their prolonged defiance they effectively forced us into using a fascistic cleaning rota. it was their solution. now, not only is everyone assigned their task for each week, if they don't complete it they have to pay money into a kitty (90DKK for the kitchen). i can't believe we need a monetary incentive to contribute in keeping the apartment clean.

the next problem was the fridge. the amount of money we each spend a week on food is grossly disproportionate. one person buys nice food (fresh pasta, good cheese, pesto, etc), me and julie buy adequate basics, and one person buys next to nothing - living off cheese sandwiches (who buys the cheese?) and takeouts - apparently because they're trying to save money. as soon as the imbalance is mentioned we suddenly have to stop sharing food. and again this idea comes from the person who buys nothing, like it's a defense mechanism or something. i just don't understand it.

but i absolutely refuse to label my food in the fridge. and bullshit to assigning shelves. it's fucking pathetic. and so much for being mature. we'll just have to stop eating together and sharing dinners, because doing half of the dishes does not count as fair contribution. could it suck anymore?

well now we have the next problem, and we've joked about this before - toilet paper. since me and julie moved back to copenhagen in april we've bought all of the toilet rolls, almost without exception. it's got to the point now where we're refusing to supply any more toilet paper, we're keeping our rolls in our room and the crapper is about to run out. it's shit of us to horde it, but i don't want to live in an apartment where i have to tell people to buy toilet paper. it's fucking lame.

i'm just waiting for the "fuck, we're out of toilet paper". do i retort, "no, you're out of toilet paper"? i hate being forced into being such a prick, but when the alternative is being taken advantage of, there isn't really an alternative. and knowing our apartment, we're about to start having three rolls of labelled toilet paper in the loo.

i'm just so pissed off right now that we can't all deal with sharing and the fair distribution of work. our apartment's solution is simply to live together but completely seperately.

and insert it later. how does that work for you?




01.09.2008: i was in the main copenhagen library for the first time (which is amazing in itself, but nevermind that), and this guy comes up to me and recommends me a book. he starts on about how he's recently got into reading and how it's the best book he's ever read, how it's a great genghis khan war story and it's brilliant. all this in thick australian. i was busy studying the doris lessing books, and honestly, what's the chance we have the same taste? it felt kind of absurd. reading a (what may as well be) random book is quite the investment for potentially no great return. i wouldn't dare trying to recommend books to a random person in the library, i have enough trouble getting away with it when i know the person. but in retrospect, that's no reason why not to try. it's such a sociable and friendly thing to do. people should randomly recommend books more often. although perhaps not quite so forcefully.

it's a good library, only it's a shame about their comics section (i don't think they could get away with calling it a "graphic novel section"). it's large, but the selection is terrible and it's completely unorganised. they often have random issues, rather than sensibly collected trades, and they're spread out randomly over several different shelves. the worst offender is akira, with 38 mixed up issues instead of the six books (which are better anyway, i think the colour ruins the artwork). and what's with all the dilbert? nearly all of the books are in poor condition, and most annoyingly of all, the library stickers often are badly placed so you can't identify titles or authors when you're quickly skimming through. maybe i should offer to help them sort it out. it needs something doing.

in the evening we went over to kenneth and katrina's pad to watch the first episode of the robinson expedition, the danish version of survivor (or something like that, i don't know). obviously it's total trash but one of our friends (their ex-flatmate, amongst other titles i could give her) is a participant, and that makes all the difference. it's weird watching such a programme and actually having a reason to want a certain person or team to do well. of course it's all in danish, so i miss a lot of the stupid comments, but it's still interesting. and rather tasteless. i hope there widespread public criticism of their use of american-style orange jumpsuits and waterboarding. a contestant from each team had the opportunity to use waterboarding to get a key from a member of the opposing team. they all refused, but would they really have been allowed to do it if they'd agreed? the programme didn't even try to make a point about the use of such torture methods, and that's what's most disgusting. it was purely for entertainment.




31.08.2008: our washing machine is dying. sometimes it beeps, but rarely does it sing no more. its spin cycle has found itself a better place. and we're yet to find another machine in the trash (you'd be surprised). it sucks because we've been demoted to using the laundrette, which could be worse, the nearest is actually quite near. and since it's been a nice weekend (it was a lovely saturday evening, so much so it felt like a sunday) i was able to sit in the laundrette's open doorway reading my book and watching the world go by. isn't that just perfect?

the real sunday has been just as summery. we cycled to the beach, determined to swim. the sea was dark and brooding, but not so cold it stopped your muscles from working once you'd dived in. or jumped, if you're anything like me. it was surprisingly pleasant, if not teeming with jelly fish:



like swimming through salty bubble tea.

julie wimped out of jumping in at the deep end so we also went down one of the jetties, where i could wade around in the shallow waters with my camera:





the great weather's also added a certain shine to the city. walking around the centre it almost feels continental in some places, and i'm left wondering why i don't spent more time there. and we bought the best hot chocolate in town. or at least it better be, for 56kr (about $11).

also what's awesome is we've been eating julie's homegrown potatoes, which we grew in the garden from dumpster dived potatoes that were too old to eat. they taste good, just like real potatoes.

"i managed to pour yoghurt in my tea"

it's september tomorrow. good luck.




30.08.2008: remember at the end july i went to the netherlands? something about wanting to go to the country with the wettest most miserable summer. anyway, i finally got around to finishing writing up my trip. so here's my netherlands journal, and if you just want to see my photos from the netherlands, you can do that too.

now all i've got to finish writing up is my roskilde diary.




29.08.2008: the mammoth has fallen. long live the mammoth. boom, ticker tape flying all over in the air. punch it. hunt the mammoth.

this and other extraordinary tales. me and kenneth have it down. i wasn't even going to go practice yesterday, choosing instead to spend the hour after my language course with julie before she goes to bed. but kenneth called me, so after saying good night i cycled back into town, my bike wheels making a "sloosh sloosh" sound on the wet tarmac. we managed to play that beast through for the first time, twice, sweat flying from my face as i stomped on my various boxes of distortion. mighty is the word. mighty it stands and mighty it falls. we have clicked and it is beautiful. before leaving we jammed out one last song, a few chords i've been working on for a while, the classic quiet/loud affair. i wanted to explode with joy. we'd calmed the song down, me playing some sparse notes on my otherwise unused high strings and kenneth playing just enough to keep the rhythm going. then i took a gamble, i went for the pedal. no built up, just straight into crushing noise, and kenneth was right there with me, a barrage of drums. it was epic in ways none of you will believe.

something else you wont believe, after practice i went over to isola to hang out with emil, the dude from his band, henrik and laure. i was there for maybe an hour or two and i only drank water. it was refreshing and a totally different experience. and those girls are my favourite djs in town. except when i asked, if they had any sleater kinney (quite optimistically, i know they're more about english music), she told me she has le tigre which is similar. i made a kind of "nah" face, and knew she'd already played 'well well well' anyway, which clearly no one else in the bar had recognized. or probably liked. so i started talking about bloodredshoes, i never realised they had an album out, or that it'd be playing in a bar in copenhagen. she said they were her favourite band and were great live ("yeah, they were fun when i saw them three years ago", i should have said). and she didn't seem impressed when i shouted "HEY!" at her. then she put her headphones on, which is a total dis. i should have been all "hey, some of my best friends are fucking indie, and they're way more indie than you. they actually live in london". nevermind. i left once the rain had stopped, trying to catch that 'earlier night'.

i didn't sleep too well though. i was bothered by what a patronising prick my new language teacher is, i was going through all the polite but firm things i should have said to him when he talked to me like i was a five years old. i'm worried, because if he's going to be like that there is no way i'm going to his lessons. he's my fourth teacher at the school and i've really liked all of the others. how did this happen? anyway, i don't want to pass judgement too soon.

he was making horribly patronising comments to everyone all the way through the lesson, almost verging on racist when it was to the chinese guy, but it was one particular situation that bothered me the most. he'd asked us to pair up and keep reading through the first dialogue ("hej, jeg hedder ola. hvad hedder du?", "jeg hedder rita", "skal du til fransk?, "ja", "na, det skal jeg ogsa", basic stuff) until we could do it off by heart, then someone should come and get him from the other room. of course, we all preferred him gone so after the first dialogue we went onto the next, etc. when he finally came back he was all "what are you doing? didn't you get it? i told you to do this" blah blah blah. then of course no one could actually read it from memory. apart from me, because i wasn't about to take any shit from him, but before he got to us he asked "why are you two sitting like? you're supposed to be talking together, how can you talk sitting like that? why are you sitting like that?". i just stared at him, what are you supposed to say? we had been sitting together, then after we'd finished learning the dialogue i'd gotten up to get some water and sat back down in my seat. i didn't have to justify anything to this guy. he asked us again, "why are you sitting like that?". i wanted to tell him he can't speak to us like that, but instead i just shrugged and stared at him, somehow trying to convey "one of my friend was beaten up last night, i'm not in the mood for you, and i don't give a shit what you think" with my eyes. horrible man.

anyway, this morning the sun is shining and i feel great. and i smell great too. i wish i could bottle it, this smell. after cycling to and from language school, and after having band practice too, i smell fantastic. go me.




28.08.2008: here's my official statement concerning the events of last night:

we'd been drinking at studenterhuset after band practice, jolle was managing the bar and it was international student night, always good for a laugh. me and kenneth found ourselves a nice quite spot upstairs and played us a game of chess (which i was convinced i was losing all the way up until the very end) whilst we waited to hear from emil. after about an hour we gave up waiting and i decided to leave, but whilst standing outside amongst the crowd of international smokers i spotted emil on his way in (he is after all quite hard to miss). he has an old school-friend visiting at the moment and was quite in the party mood, so we went back inside for another drink (on the house).

it must have been about 2am when they started closing and threw us out. lilly went to catch the bus home, whilst me, emil, kenneth, henrik and laure went in search of food, taking store kannikestraede towards our favourite bakery. however we only made it to frue plads before emil gets a call from lilly. he tells us she's been attacked and is up at norreport. everyone starts running up fiolstraede, and since i'm on my bike i cycle ahead (after first offering my bike to emil).

i circled around norreport but couldn't see her anywhere. then for some strange reason i thought it would be sensible to pick up a wine bottle that's lying half full on the floor. i emptied it out, red wine splashing all over everywhere, and placed it in the basket on my bike. because you never know when something like that might come in handy. by this time emil's caught up with me and is heading back down frederiksborggade. i follow him but still can't see lilly anywhere, but only because i'm looking for a girl, not a body lying in a heap on the floor. emil ran over and i decided to keep my distance until he called us all over. she was in a mess, but except from having great trouble standing up was not visibly hurt. the sounds of beaten up girl rank high on my list of my least favourite noises.

she explained to us that it was two blonde girls. they had come up to her and asked her for a cigarette. when she had told them she didn't have one they'd proceeded to push, punch and kick her. i'm not sure how much of this i understood at the time and how much i was told afterwards. emil then got up and started walking towards kultorvet where he began talking to two girls who exactly fit the blonde girls description. since this is my official statement, i'll refrain from refering to them as "the crazy nazi bitches". laure suggested that me and kenneth should go over incase anything should happen.

by the time i'd cycled over to them things were getting heated and i couldn't understand anything that was being said. my main worry was that we were starting an arguement with some random girls who weren't involved, because i know how quickly things can get out of control when emotions are running high. a few seconds later the situation started to turn violent. the girls were lashing out and people were pushing. one of the girls hit emil a couple of times and one of them grabbed the back of his neck. his phone fell from his pocket but i managed to rescue it. i was trying to get everyone to seperate and get the girls to leave. there were six of us and two of them, i don't understand why they didn't run away, apart from the fact that it was quite obvious we weren't going to beat them up. they were obviously just looking to cause trouble.

we'd now moved up to where lilly was, the girls had effectively followed us, and it was all a bit confusing as to what was going on. one of the girls tripped over and then spat at someone. then the other girl attacked emil with her pink purse, which he grabbed and threw across the street. that was my favourite moment, pure comedy brilliance. the girl retrieved her bag, then walked up the street and pick up a temporary bollard which she intended to use as a weapon (once she'd managed to lift it off the ground). i grabbed my bike, holding it up infront of me and getting in the way so she couldn't actually hit anyone with it. i think this was when i got a graze on my right ankle. i told her something along the lines of not to be so fucking ridiculous. i then started shouting at her to just fuck off and leave, i was trying to end the situation before it got any worse. she told me she was danish and lived here, like that makes a difference, and that she comes from christiania. i told her i didn't give a fuck and they needed to leave, which they did shortly after.

what i hadn't realised at the time was that emil had first asked them if they had a cigarette, to which they'd replied they normally beat up punks for cigarettes but that he seemed ok. also that lilly had called the police when she saw the girls return and it was definately them who had assualted her. after the girls had left they crossed over norre voldgade and were stopped by the police who had just arrived. we watched from a distance for about fifteen minutes and i placed the wine bottle carefully back on the floor. me, henrik and laure were on our way to speak to the police but decided to wait. then when the girls were allowed to leave they ran off towards norreport.

the cop car turned around and they then came to speak to us, starting with emil and lilly. then one of the police walked around the car to question us. he took henrik's and laure's names and phone numbers and my sygesikringsbevis number. he asked if emil had hit the girl, who hit who first. he'd asked us what we'd been doing and where had we been drinking because emil was very drunk. he told us we may recieve a call before friday if we were needed to make a statement. and apparently the girls were only fourteen. this whole time i was standing with my bike between me and one cop and my body at a funny angle to the other - i really didn't want them to see the "ACAB" patch on my shorts.

when the police had left everyone decided to go to the hospital to get a statement, which is a necessity if lilly wants the girls to be charged. i said my goodbyes and left as there was no point in me spending several agonizing hours at the hospital.

the next day we find out from the police that the girls were claiming emil had aggravated them earlier (i'm not sure if this was supposed to be verbal or physical) and that's why they attacked lilly. their claim is absurd and shows what idiots they are, firstly because they were admitting to what essentially boils down to unprovoked assualt (lilly had done nothing) and secondly because their explanation is a blatant lie that's easily contradicted. we have many witnesses at studenterhuset to corroborate our side of the story. my only concern about pressing charges was that they might do the same back, however they clearly didn't go to the hospital for a statement so don't have any kind of leg to stand on. not even a crap one. i think they messed with the wrong little punk.

anyway, all is reasonably ok now and there is no cause for concern. shining happy people and disbelief all round.






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